The Sink Squirrel

This could be one of those infamous verbal vomit/TMI Rose posts.

I came home from work early because I wasn't feeling hot. I called my Mom to tell her I was leaving work because I was having God awful period cramps. I used to have bad period pain and leaving work early because of it is a big deal. She told me she would great me at the door with a percocet. (Yeah, how flippin' sweet is that?)

Anyway

I pull up in the driveway and see the plumber. I know that our water hasn't been getting as hot as it should so I figured that was the reason he was at the house. First words out of my mouth "Is the water on?" My mom said yes and if I needed to go I would need to use her bathroom as the plumber was in mine. Well, shit. I forgot all about my leaky faucet (it's been leaking for like a year) and that was his reason for the visit. My Dad didn't tell me, so my bathroom wasn't as clean as it should be.

Right in front of the bathroom door where I had left them were my panties. Classy, no? At least it was a cute pair of skivvies. I just slyly kicked them towards the hamper. I know he had to have seen them because they're bright pink and say something about dancing. Oh well.

Anyway, since Mr. Plumber had already taken everything from under my double sink I figured I might as well inform him of the clog in the left sink. (thus sparing him a trip of seeing yet another pair of my discarded drawers). What I failed to mention is that it's been clogged for as long as I can remember and that would be the reason my face wash & toothbrush are on the right side.

Anyway, I went and took a nap. When I woke up from the nap and went into the bathroom I noticed my bathroom trash had been taken out. "What kind of plumber takes out the trash? I guess that's a nice, but very strange gesture" I thought. I went on my merry way downstairs and asked my Mom why Mr.P had taken my trash out.

Her response: "He had to get a snake to clean out the hairball the size of a squirrel out of the sink. He brought it down because it was so much and he wanted to show me."

Holy. Shit. I know I lose a lot of hair in the shower (I fish what I endearingly call "The Wookie" out every couple months, but from what I hear that is fairly normal for people that have as much hair as I do). But seriously, a hair ball the size of a squirrel in the sink? How the fuck does that even happen? I've never washed my hair in the sink. I pretty much only use my sink to brush my teeth and last time I checked I didn't have hairy gums.

I just don't get it.

<3, An unknowingly, obviously balding Rose

P.S. He also found one of those fish tank marbles. Not sure how that got down there. Or the last time I had a fish for that matter.