I ALMOST killed

A MOTHER FUCKING COYOTE!

A couple years ago, my sister had surgery. She needed cigarettes (or diet coke, something imperative) and needed to run into town a couple days after. I'm fairly certain that she was too drugged up to drive but she left without anyone knowing. When she came home she had this story:


"I was driving down the road and I looked out my window and there was a coyote running down the road next to me. All of a sudden it started running faster than my car, cut in front of me and turned down L road."

Yeah, because that is SO believable.

The first time we heard the story she claimed she was going around 60 miles an hour. First off, a coyote can't run that fast unless it's part Cheetah and I'm fairly certain that Cheetah/Coyote mixes aren't common in Kentucky (or even possible for that matter, since one is a cat & the other a dog). She still claims the story is true, but admitted that in her drug induced state she was actually going less than 30 miles an hour. I'm still perplexed as to why the coyote decided to cut in front of her and go down an actual road instead of into a field. Obviously, we still give her shit.

Well, last night I almost hit the mother fucker.

I saw something ahead of us in the road and slowed down. I asked Sam what the fuck it was. After thinking it was a rabbit (too big) then a fox (still much too big) we realized it was a coyote. I continued to drive and I swear to God it was running beside me just like my sister claimed happened to her, on the exact same part of the exact same road. He was running all crazy in zig-zags like a drunk person. BUT, instead of turning down L road (which we had already passed), it jumped a fence. Sam looked at me and said, "I can't believe that bastard! He didn't even use a turn signal! We HAVE to tell your sister."

Her response: "Fuck you. It really happened to me."

Like I could make that shit up.

<3,
The *Almost* Coyote Killer, Rose