Friday, February 6, 2009

I Killed...

A MOTHER FUCKING CANADIAN GOOSE!!!!!!


Seriously. I killed a Canadian Goose.

I worked late tonight, until about 6pm. I take a back road to I-64, it breaks up the monotony of the interstate. Anyway, I'm driving along when I turn my head to the left just to see a group of Canadian geese flying in one of those Vs that they fly in. I thought "Oh how pretty." Then I thought "Fuck, that V is really close to the road...it kind of looks like it's going to hit me."

Next thing I know I hear a loud bang. A rogue goose had flown away from the group...I just closed my eyes, screamed and hoped for the best. When I opened my eyes I could see the remnants of feathers flying around my car and a slobber mark on my windshield! I was completely expecting my windshield to be shattered and for there to be goose blood all over my car. Thank God that wasn't the case. I would have freaked the fuck out, or freaked out more that I already did.

So, I decided that it was a good idea to douse my windshield in windshield washer fluid, say a little prayer for the goose and then call Rose to tell her all about my goose fiasco.

The more I think about it, the less I feel bad. My apartment has a large field behind it and it just happens that all the Canadian geese flock to it in the mornings. I can't count the number of times I have been woken up on a Saturday morning, when I'm trying to sleep in, by stupid mother fucking Canadian geese. Aren't they supposed to migrate to warm places during the winter?

<3,
Jill

12 comments:

Melissa said...

dang, i would have freaked too!

Life at the White House said...

scary.........but seriously funny the way you told the story!

Lil' Woman said...

i would have been scared shitless..but I guess he got what he deserved..lol

Gina said...

My friends and I hit a deer one time...the slobber grossed me out more than the blood. Glad you're ok!

Under the Influence said...

I'm calling PETA. :)

Christina said...

I totally thought you were going to share some hunting story. I would have been more surprised ;)

But scary! Once, with a former boyfriend of mine, we hit a wild turkey. We found feathers IN the vehicle and I screamed.

What a story to share haha

Sara said...

You are the best story teller. I laughed out loud!

Once while driving down the highway, the car in front of me hit a turtle and turtle guts splattered all over my windows. I had to stop at the nearest carwash.

Cheryl said...

It's alright. I don't care for geese. But don't run over a beaver ;)

insomniaclolita said...

thats really scary, thank god you're okay.

Dating Without Pants said...

First they take out a jet then nearly Jill's car. What's next? Fear for your lives people.

Constructive Attitude said...

omggg i wouldve done the same thing you did: closed my eyes. i didnt realize that i had that reaction when i drive until i almost hit something the other day, and instead of trying to avoid it, i closed my eyes! at least you tried avoiding it though?

Constructive Attitude said...

so like the exact same thing happened to my friend today. the impact totally cracked her ENTIRE windshield and there was blood and feathers EVERYWHERE!

 
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