Friday, May 29, 2009

I moved!!!

This time last year I was frantically searching for a place to live. I was living at my parents' house and needed out, I had been there for a year. Anyway, I got pissed one day because my mom opened up all of my mail. She had done this in the past and I had nicely asked her to stop several times. This time would be the last... I found an apartment the next day.

You know how when you think that you really need something, you jump at the first thing you find that is somewhat close to what you think you need? This is what me and my roommate Rach did. We found a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment with new appliances and a cute back porch that opened up to a field. We had access to a pool, hot-tub, sauna, work-out room and other ammenities that we really didn't need. Anyway, our rent was OUTRAGEOUS! We were paying $889 a month, plus utilities!

We had a year lease, so we had been looking for a cheaper place to live. We also had taken on a third roommate, Meg. So about a month ago, we all started looking for places around where we were currently living but couldn't find anything. After severe bouts of frustration, we decided to start looking in a small town about 30 minutes from where we were living.

We found the cutest house. It's a 4 bedroom, 2 bath house with a huge kitchen, living room (with a gas fireplace), a huge storage shed, carport and really nice backyard. The greatest thing is that we are only paying $650 a month, plus utiliites!!! My rent is now $217 a month, as opposed to almost $450.

I think I forgot to tell you that in our 2BR/2BA apartment we had 3 people, a Pitbull/Vizsla mix dog and 3 cats...Now at least the animals and us have room to move about.

Last weekend we moved into the house, we got everything moved and in place in a day! Oh and I got to drive a huge U-Haul!! Too bad I haven't done anything to my bedroom...I need to make a trip to Ikea ASAP so I can have pretty things to make my room what I need it to be (and hey, since I have boo-koos of extra money that I'm saving from the rent, I may as well).

Anyway, I promise that pictures will come soon...I just haven't had time to get everything done and take pictures...

Hope you all have great weekends!


Thursday, May 28, 2009

The point of the matter is...

that I have a fuck buddy.

Yes, I will talk about the sex (but that's later down the post)... And this is considered our FUF post of the week because I sure celebrated FUF the first night we hooked up!

I was reading something today (and I think it was in Cosmo. or maybe online, whatever). The article was something like "Is He The One?"

Side Note: I've been reading Cosmo since middle school. I swear the reuse the same articles every couple of years. The sex tricks are the same, I know my G-Spot is my "hidden pleasure spot" and the cosmetic tricks are all of the same. However, I just keep reading it. I don't know why, but I'll buy it even though I know EVERYTHING that will be in it!! Does anyone else feel this way??

The article was set up in an A and B format. You chose whichever you felt fit the relationship the best. The only one that I remember was something like:

What do you talk about when together:
A) Last weekend, what you're doing later, etc.
B) Your childhood, your family

Well, I did the quiz in my head (do people actually get a pen to mark them?) and obviously John (also known as my prom date sophomore year of high school) falls into the fling category.

Now, I didn't really need a quiz to tell me this. John and I've had quite a whirlwind relationship(s). We've been best friends, we've been enemies, we've made out, we've said the most horrible hateful things and now we've had sex.

We've gone through the same type of "quasi-relationship" several times. Every couple of years one of us will text or call the other and we'll start talking. Which leads to hanging out. Which leads to making out and now leads to sex. Then after so long (sometimes a week, sometimes a couple months), we fizzle.

Jill has seen the fizzle. It's like something inside of me (and it always has been me), is just done. I can remember the last fizzle. Junior year of college. John, Jill & I were hanging out in her room after a night of crazy antics. Jill and I were in a deep conversation about the Italian Renaissance (I'm not kidding, it was something along those lines) and John was just sitting there. He tried to say something and I looked at him and said, "What, do you not understand what we're talking about? Do we need to talk slower?" Yeah, I know it was horrible. John got up and left. I talked to him one last time to get Jill's purse out of his car.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love John to death. I care for him deeply. It's just a purely physical relationship. Since we've become adults, John and I don't really have anything to talk about or have anything in common. Sure, we hang out and have fun but we talk about mindless things like movies or music. We don't share our fears and dreams.

And to be quite honest, this time we really don't even talk. We just keep it cordial with: "How is your day" "anything new with you?" and "what time do you want me to come over?" We go through the same motions almost every time. I go to his apartment. We hang out and watch tv. We start making out. We go fuck. I might sleep, I might not. I leave.

So, based on the past, I have a pretty strong feeling that there will be no "us" and I am okay with that. He's not really relationship material anyway. Plus, I have my first real fuck buddy!

Now, on to the part that makes this blog so "delightfully inappropriate!" The. Sex.

  • The sex with John is decent enough. I wouldn't call it mind-blowing or anything. Now, I know that I don't have much to compare him to, but sex with Sam was definitely much better.
  • However, John is HUGE so that makes up for whatever it's missing. I'm not kidding when I say huge. It makes me cringe a bit knowing it's coming and it's that stinging sensation of losing your virginity for the first couple minutes. Then we're good to go. (Girls, how do we make this stop? It's not an issue on my part if you know what I mean).
  • He does this thing that I love where during missionary he holds my hands above my head where I can't move them. I don't know if it's the fact that he has all the control or what but Good. God. Amazing.
  • He can last FOREVER. I'm sure I'm not the only one who reaches a point where I'm all "Come on, get off. For real." because I'm just done. Well, he finally does get off... what feels like an hour later.
  • AH, once we're done he goes and gets me a glass of water. Then he rubs my back. And plays with my hair. I'm a sucker for that.
  • I'm looking for new sex positions to anything you want to share with me is good. (where are you when I need you Christina & Courtney?!)
So yeah, probably more than you would ever want to know about the relationship of John & Rose part XIVV. I would write more but I'm kind of tapped out on anything else. SOOOO if there is anything else you want to know, ask. I'm a kiss & tell kind of girl.

A kisser & teller,

Friday, May 22, 2009

Queeeens of Awe-summm

Ok I'm a slacker. I (Rose) was supposed to publish this after I filled it in. Well, I filled it in last week and forgot! So here is Jill's post from 5/15/09!

Last night when I got off work I went over to Rose's house for a visit with her and the family. I picked a great night to go over because I got to see Rose's sister and brother and law's new place. Well, it isn't new...but they are moving across the road into a place and I'm very excited for them!!

While I was there Rose asked if I would help her clean out her closets. I agreed and it's a good thing I did! I left there with massive amounts of clothes that Rose no longer wears. Thank God my best friend is the same size on top as I am!!! I probably walked out with 25 shirts! Thanks Rose. Love ya!!

And if all that wasn't enough to make me happy, Rose and I got an award!!!!! I have to admit, this awards is amazing! It's all sparkley and pretty, plus I love the vintage looking image. The award and the girls who gave it to us are exactly what the award is for...Awe-Summm-ness!!

Lil' Woman and Gina at Namaste by Day both gave us this award! Thanks to you both!!!!

So, for us to be considered the Queens of Awe-Summm-ness we have to do some stuff...

1. List 7 things that make me Awe-Summm.

2. Pass the award onto 7 bloggers that I love

3. Tag those bloggers to let them know they are now Queens too (and link back to the Queen who tagged you)


1. I'm obsessed with George Washington. I know, many people wouldn't consider this to be "Awe-summm" but I do. Ask me a question about him and chances are I'll know it! Love me some GW.

2. I have recently become a domestic goddess. Baking, cleaning, sewing, anything you would think Martha Stewart would be doing, I'm doing. It's crazy, but awe-summm!

3. I play video games -and- like it. Awe-summm...I know.

4. I love camping and kayaking. I'm seriously looking into buying a kayak. Now, I'm not talking kayaking as in doing all the rapids and waterfall shit, I'm just talking about lazily floating down a river, stopping frequently for cigarette breaks. I could seriously camp/kayak every weekend and never get tired of it. Awe-summme

5. I finally re-taught myself how to do a cartwheel. Awe-summm, for real though. I mean, it took me hours to re-teach myself how to do this. Those f'n cartwheels are hard to do!!!

6. I've seen more dead bodies than most people will ever see in their entire life. I consider this awe-summm, but morbid at the same time. My dad is a coroner. I've been helping him do stuff around his labs my entire life...don't worry, I never actually do anything with the cadaver, I just work around them when helping him.

7. I still play bassoon in a concert band. Most people in band stop after high school, or for some college. But not me. I'm die-hard all about some concert band. Whoo!


1. Did you see where I gave lots of clothes to Jill? Yeah, I gave her stuff I still wear (like my baby blue cardigan) because she is my best friend and I know she has wanted it for a long time. Yeah, that makes me awe-summmm

2. I am horrible at actually washing my clothing. Like to the point I had so much that I couldn't grasp where to start. The reason I gave the stuff to Rose last night is my Mom decided to help me out and wash all my laundry. Over 30 loads. There were things that I haven't seen in two years. What is awe-summm is that I have over 70 pairs of socks. Whenever I ran out I would just buy some. You might call it patethic, I call it awe-sum (and just for the record, I'm keeping up with it now!)

3. I'm a bookworm. But what is awe-sum is that I read in paragraphs, not lines. I had an IQ test when I was in 4th grade and that's what the shrink who administered it said. I guess that means I can read large blocks at a time.

4. I could read books by the time I was 2. Awe-sum.

5. My birthday sometimes falls on Labor Day. Hello, National Holiday: Rose's birthday! (It's September 1st if you want to send me gifts)

6. I taught my Mom her new favorite phrase, "Fuck-Tard." How awe-sum is that? She calls people Fuck-tards all the time now. AMAZING.

7. I know how to ballroom dance, square dance and clog. Ok, that was a lie because i couldn't think of anything else. How about this: I am an awe-summ liar. Well, that's not true either. I'm actually a horrible liar so I'm an awe-summly honest person?

Ok, we're not passing it on. We love you all and think you're all queens!! So if you want it, you deserve it!

Da Baddest Bitch

Found this on Gum-Shoeing's blog and I love doing these things. Even if you don't read it, you can always do it because it's fun and I love to see what music everyone likes :) I'm not sure why I have so many repeat artists. My iPod has a ton of songs and the same artists just kept coming up. Strange.


The rules are....
1. Put your iTunes (or other Music Player) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
Add some commentary if you’d like.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?? A Gentleman Caller - Cursive
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Sit and Stare - Gogogo Airheart [very true]
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Capri Pants - Bikini Kill [that's a big negative]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? I Don't Want to Be- Gavin DeGraw [could work]
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Brian and Robert - Phish
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Video Killed the Radio Star - The Buggles [this is my life's theme song]
WHAT IS 2+2? Lucky - Bif Naked
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS? We Write the Wrong - The Early November
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? The Hand that Feeds - Nine Inch Nails [i'm not sure how I feel about that]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Mexican Cousin - Phish
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Not Myself - John Mayer [amen]
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Over my Head - The Fray [seeing I don't really actually 'like' anyone, I think this is void. But I don't think this would be a good way to think about the person you like!]
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Split Screen Sadness- John Mayer
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Mrs. Robinson - Simon & Garfunkel
HOW WILL YOU DIE? Forever my Friend - Ray LaMontagne
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? Back to You - John Mayer [hmmm]
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Am I Wrong - Brand New
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Everything - Lifehouse [true story. the song makes me cry]
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows - Brand New
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Just The Girl - Click Five [girls are icky]
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Bourbon and Lacs - Master P [hahahahah]
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Ironic - Alanis Morrissette
HOW AM I FEELING TODAY? Blue & Yellow - The Used [good way to express how i feel]
WILL I GET FAR IN LIFE? Touch Me - Phish
HOW DO MY FRIENDS SEE ME? The Boy Who Blocked his own Shot - Brand New
WHAT IS MY BEST FRIEND’S THEME SONG? If You Fall - Azure Ray [nahhh]
WHAT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE? Every Breath you Take - Copeland
WHAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL LIKE? Gravel Pit - Wu Tang Clan [I suppose this one works]
HOW CAN I GET AHEAD IN LIFE? I Love You ...Too - Tokyo Rose [pretty sure this song is a breakup song. so i guess it works out because i broke up with Sam to get ahead in life...]
WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT ME? Marvelous Things - Eisley [everything about me is marvelous, bitches]
HOW IS TODAY GOING TO BE? Ride - The Vines [exactly how i feel before a three day weekend!]
WHAT IS IN STORE FOR THIS WEEKEND? Asleep - The Smiths [Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep. I'm tired and I wanna go to bed.]
WHAT SONG DESCRIBES MY PARENTS? Just Like You - Three Days Grace [I am pretty much like mi madre]
TO DESCRIBE MY GRANDPARENTS? The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkle [I inherited my grandfather's computer and the wrote a story from when he was a teen about his boxing club. this one totally works]
HOW IS MY LIFE GOING? The Love War - The Dismemberment Plan [couldn't have said it better myself]
WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT MY FUNERAL? Know Your Onion - The Shins [interesting]
HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE ME? PaperRockScissors - Jamison-Parker
WILL I HAVE A HAPPY LIFE? Just Breathe - Brandston
WHAT DO MY FRIEND’S REALLY THINK OF ME? Come on Kids - Tegan & Sara [come on kids, eat those pills you got your whole life to lose. hahaha]
DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER ME? Chickenhead -Threesixmafia [wtf?]
HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY? Clarity - John Mayer [very true]
WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE? Wading in the Velvet Sea - Phish [well, i'm sure that would be totally beneficial!]
WILL I EVER HAVE CHILDREN? Good to know that if I ever need attention all i have to do is die - Brand New [hmmm what does that even mean?]
WHAT IS SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR ME? All the Wild Horses - Ray LaMontagne
HOW WILL I BE REMEMBERED? It's for the Best - Straylight Run [i'm going to take that as a yes]
WHAT IS MY SIGNATURE DANCING SONG? We Will Become Silhouettes- The Postal Service [seeing as I don't have a signature dancing song, i'll take it]
WHAT DO I THINK MY CURRENT THEME SONG IS? Dancing Nancies - DMB [it's Video Killed the Radio Star, but I do love Dancing Nancies]
WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE THINK MY CURRENT THEME SONG IS? Pretty Soon, I don't Know What, But something is going to happen - Norma Jean [may not be my theme song but it's definitely true!]
WHAT TYPE OF MEN/WOMEN DO YOU LIKE? Do You Miss Me -Lucky Boys Confusion [does this mean needy? i'm not into needy men!]
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Da Baddest Bitch - Trina [one word. Amazing]

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I've had a crazy, crazy past week. I'm stealing Re-Re's idea and doing a "Potluck" of all the crap that has been going on. Prepare yourself.

1. I might be a little vague in this one, but it's for my families sake: My brother came to us two weeks ago and told us he was unhappy in his marriage and is divorcing his wife. He visited his lawyer and started the process. This Sunday she found something he had searched on the internet (had nothing to do with divorce), and confronted him for more information. He told her it was no big deal and was just something he saw on the news and wanted to know more about it. She told him if he didn't tell her exactly why he was looking it up, she wanted to separate. He told her that was fine that he had already been to see a lawyer and she would be served this week. He came to stay the night at our house. During the night, she packed everything in the house and moved 10-12 hours away to where her family is from. She took my niece and nephew with her. Because she hadn't been served yet, she was allowed to leave the state. I think it's safe to say that my life has been turned upside down with the "what-ifs." (what if my brother doesn't get custody, what if I never see them again, on and on).

2. My work BFF, L, got laid off last Thursday and it was a huge surprise. Especially since I normally know who is next.

3. We went out Friday night for the people who got laid off at work. My boss paid for the first $150 of booze. I got slightly drunk. I may have made some bad decisions including, but not limited to:

I know this is the one you all care about:

4. I slept with my prom date from high school. twice. He found me on facebook and we started chatting and text messaging. I went over to his apartment late Friday night and stayed the night. He was HUGE and I was super sore the next day. So sore that I was a little relieved when the time came Saturday night for a third round that he didn't have anymore condoms. Obviously, this is strange territory for me because I have never slept with someone besides Sam. It was good, just different.

5. Sam has been somewhat stalking me. When I told him that the prom date added me on facebook he flipped the fuck out. Like leaving letters and pictures on my car. I told him that obviously this friends thing wasn't going to work out and we couldn't talk. BUT he continued to call and text message. Not only me, but Jill and L. He was calling L's work phone and I'm sure if he had Jill's number he would have called her too. He keeps claiming that he's changed, things are different, he misses me, all that other shit. I've started ignoring him and he hasn't called or messaged me in 2 days. Obviously I'm over him (see #4 on list) but it is very aggravating. Not only is he harassing me, but now my friends. I'm about thisclose to changing my cell number which will really piss me off because I've had this number since I was 16.

Hmmm I think that is just about it. I miss you all. I'll write again soon, I promise :)


Friday, May 15, 2009

Going to the chapel, FUF style.

I was stalking visiting some of my friends facebook pages this morning and realized that today was graduation practice for the class of 2009.

This had me thinking about the day that Jill and I had graduation practice. Jill's & my name happen to be right next to each other in the alphabet. We ended up getting to walk and sit with each other during graduation and baccalaureate (how effing cool is that? just by chance sitting next to your best friend during graduation? let me tell you, we took pictures the entire time!)

Well, graduation / baccalaureate practice was at 10 on Friday morning. Our last day of class was the previous Monday so we had spent the last four days in a a drunk and smoking stupor. We were tore up, for real. Well, the night before we decided to do a little 8 dollar challenge. All you can drink for 8 bucks and let me tell you, we were serious. I always drank no less than 5 beers and no less than about 10 rum & diets..

Jill wakes me up at about 9:50 the next morning telling me to get my ass ready for practice.

I was drunk as a skunk. Not just the little bit of dizzy head most people have when you quit drinking 8 hours prior. I was a full on stumbling, not talking coherently, couldn't light my own cigarette, smelling like booze drunk bitch at 10 in the morning.

I somehow manage to find a t shirt and jeans to throw on and we went to the chapel to practice for our baccalaureate that would happen that night. All of the seniors line up and go through the main entrance. Once you get into the foyer, there are two separate doors to go through, one on the left and one on the right. The explained that we would be in two lines and both lines would walk through the right door and split from there to be seated.

I was on the left side. Being drunk I obviously didn't understand the directions. As soon as I made it in the chapel I make a beeline for the left door. Stumbling and running. However, I didn't notice there was no one in front or behind me. I vaguely heard someone yelling "Orange shirt. Orange shirt! Wrong way!" I didn't even know I had a damn orange shirt on. Then Jill yells "Rose, you idiot, you're going the wrong way!"

The only thing I could yell back was "I'm drunk!" I then proceeded to run and get back in line. Needless to say, it was a very long, very hot, very very drunk practice.

I think I for sure went out with a bang.

Still Drunk,

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Things is getting crazy!!!

So, I'm sitting here at work playing around (not going to lie, I was playing Farmtown on Facebook) when I get an email from Luke. He's a teacher here in lovely Kentucky. Being a teacher he gets mad emails from other teachers. Apparently teachers are forwarding fools, they will seriously forward anything. He forwarded me something that another teacher had forwarded to him.

Anyway, this email read "OMG. The rain is started...things is getting crazy!" I thought Luke had gone off his rocker, this boy never and I mean never uses poor grammar. I then scrolled down a little, where he said "Don't people know how to speak?!?"

So, I scrolled down a little farther in the email trying to figure out what all this was about. Another teacher had been sent an email from a teacher several hundred miles away in Po-Dunk County, Kentucky that read: "The rain is started all over again!! Things is so crazy around here and so many children are homeless." This email was sent to the entire Po-Dunk County, Kentucky school!!

And this is why people in Kentucky get a bad rep.

I'm assuming the teacher in Po-Dunk looks something like this...

But at least Po-Dunk teacher has compassion for the homeless kids.


p.s. I realize I don't use the best grammar, but I'm not mass emailing with this stuff!

it just doesn't get any better...

If you like and, you'll love:

Awkward Family Photos.

I can't get enough of it. I wish there were more, but alas, less than 10 pages so far. The commentary is ridiculously lame as are some of the pictures and the things like "awkward word," but if you can bypass all of that you get some quality Awkward Family Photos!

I would post some of my favorites, but I just can't choose. It's a trainwreck of wonderful.

Go on, click the link. You know you want too!


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

the AR cheating ring.

When I was in 8th grade, our English teacher was in a bad car wreck and was out most of the year. We had a long term substitute teacher, who was nice enough but a total ditz. She didn't know a comma splice from a hole in her head.

We had this program called Accelerated Reader (or AR for short). The point of the program is to encourage students to read. Books were given point value (most middle school books were 4-6 points and books such as Gone With The Wind were upwards of 50). Each student had to get 20 AR points every 6 weeks of class. I never had a problem doing this as I am a book worm. I would go through the approved list of books and check for ones I had already read, take the test on it and voila! I had my A.

Well, I sat right next to the test computer. I noticed kids weren't getting the points they needed to get an A in the class so I had a genius idea. I got a group of about 10 of my closest friends together. We each were in charge of reading a book (you could pick as long as it was at least a 6 points). We would read the book and then take the test for ourselves and the other kids in the group. That way, people wouldn't bust their ass to read, would get the points they needed & get bonus points by going over 20.

We were famous. Every student wanted to be in the group. Once kids found out about our plan, cheating rings were formed in every English class in the middle school, the 6th graders even started doing it. People would flock to us in the hallways between class periods. They knew we wouldn't take a test for them (make your own ring, bitch!) but they loved us anyway because we figured out a way and executed a plan that could get the entire school get an A. I can imagine it's the same type of high the kids in the movie 21 felt while ripping off the casinos; but we just ripped off the middle school. People admired us.

We were sly, or so we thought...

The plan worked for quite a while. Until the real teacher came back, noticed the huge increase in AR points in our class (since we were the first to do it, our points were massive. We didn't just stop at 20 points, we wanted 50, 100 or more!). She had heard word on the street of our little scheme.

We. Got. Busted.

A group of us were called into the principal's office; most from 2nd hour English (my class), but some from 1st hour. The principal informed us that our cheating ring had been busted. All of us with high points from those two classes had to write a statement (I'm not shitting you. We had to write what we had done and who all was involved in our plan). Once the principle left, we all agreed to write down only the names of the other kids in the office. No point in bringing down the entire middle school.

I remember going home and telling my mom, but I don't remember her being upset at all. I think her exact words were "Even with those zeros, you better still make honor roll." A few days after we gave our statement we were each called into a panel of teachers. I walked into the class cool as a cucumber. "Yeah. I did it. I organized one of the groups." I said to the 5 teachers.

The English teacher burst into tears: "Why? Why you Rose? I know you love to read. You have such good morals, what happened? I just don't understand what would possess you to do such a thing. I wasn't surprised when I saw the rest of the names on the list, but when I saw yours I was completely floored."

"Because I think that AR is a big pile of crap. A lot of people in our class read extremely slow and are lucky if they can finish a single book in 6 weeks. We don't get class time to read and on top of that no one wants to be forced into reading every single day when they get home. I love to read, but by you making me do it, I despise it."

They didn't know what to say. Needless to say, I got my AR privileges revoked and received three zeros in the grade book instead of my normal A. The teacher also had to watch as we logged in to take our test to make sure we weren't doing it for anyone else.

I'm still surprised I didn't get suspended. Or that my mom didn't kill me. However, from then on out, during English we got to spend 10-15 minutes a day reading and the entire class period about once a week.

<3, your ring leader, Rose.

P.S. I still managed an A in English for the year!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

i suck at life. or at least blogging.

I feel like lately every single time I realize that I'm a sucky blogger and vow to change that (by commenting and writing amazing posts) something prevents it.

Case in point:

I got sick on Wednesday at work. When I'm PMSing (which is just about every other week these days), I like to go to IHOP for lunch and get butterscotch rocks pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs and hash browns. Nothing like the combo of so salty I need a gallon of water and so sugary I need cavaties filled to cure PMS. I'm maybe a quarter through my lunch and my tummy starts to hurt. On the way back to work I told my coworker, L, that I was about 99% positive that I was going to hurl when I got out of the car. (Fun fact on Rose: half of the time I can hold my puke until I can make it somewhere safe, the other half of the time I'll be mid-sentence and puke). Sure enough, as soon as I got out of the car, I threw up. Of course, I went home.

Thursday I was feeling a lot better. I got up to take a shower and noticed my eye was a little sore. I just figured it was a stye and rubbed a gold ring on it (I swear that if you're getting a stye and you rub gold on it, it will go away). All morning my contacts were blurry and I couldn't see for shit. At about noon I was smoking and L told me that I had a crusty eye booger that needed to be taken care of. I tried to wipe it away and it was like a line of snot. I was hoping it was just contact irritation. I knew when I left work on Thursday it wasn't just my contacts.

I was right... I have fucking pink eye. I feel like I should have passed the pink eye stage back in elementary school.

Friday morning with my eyes swollen and crusted shut. Seriously, that is the worst thing ever. On top of my eyes being super swollen and crusty, they hurt and itch. I had forgotton how uncomfortable it is.

I went to the doctor and he gave me a special type of drop since I had been wearing contacts. I'm banned from makeup and contacts for a week. Bummer. I also had to throw away my mascara that was two weeks old and my contacts that I had worn one day. FML.

It's a lot better today. Hardly red at all and just minor itching and oozing. I should be back to normal soon. I'll be commenting and hopefully writing more blogs!

Red Eye Rose

Sunday, May 3, 2009


So I know when I mentioned threading my eyebrows it intrigued some of you girls. Threading is a painless, quick and simple way to remove your unwanted hair. I'm not kidding. It always hurts me to pluck and with threading I can't even feel it! I probably wouldn't believe I had removed a hair unless I saw them come out! On top of all that, it works much like waxing and removes multiple hairs at once. (Woah, watch out Billy Mays. I'll be infomercial ready after this post!)

Every time I get my eyebrows waxed I break out and blister horribly. I mentioned this to a girl at work and she told me about threading. It was something I heard of but sounded painful and I knew there was no way to do it on my own. I asked her how much it costs and she said it costs her around $20.00. I thought that was a ludicrous charge for someone to essentially pluck your eyebrows.

I decided I would learn how to do it. I did some research online and couldn't find much. I then went on youtube and there was a jackpot of videos. Some of the videos royally suck and I couldn't figure out what they were doing. It was more so trial and error on my part.

I thought I would share the video that actually taught me how with my lovely readers! Below the video are some of my tips and tricks on how to perfect the art of threading :)

Rose's Tips & Tricks:
--Personally, I think it's very important to make sure you you have down the hand movement before attempting your brows. If you don't have the hand movement down, you'll never get a hair out.
--Try on a leg hair first. That way you can get your hand movement down and be prepared for how it feels before you go on to your eyebrow.
--You will either feel a little pinch (I never have) or hear a pop of sorts when the hair comes out.
--Place the thread flush against your skin. It won't work if the thread isn't touching your skin.
--Sometimes you won't get a hair, but that is okay. Just try again.
--USE COTTON THREAD. No shiny thread. Cotton actually pulls the hair where the shiny thread doesn't pull it out but glides over the hair..
--Make sure that where you are working is dry, not oily and preferably makeup free
--Thread in a well lit area
--The quicker you move your hands the less it hurts. If you pull reeeealllly slow, it's obviously going to hurt more.
--You get a lot of hairs at one time. Take your time and don't go all thread happy. I went threading happy and overdid it a bit.
--To do the middle, hold the thread up and down. This is a bit harder to do, practice makes perfect.
--You can do any hair on your body if you can reach it with your hands. I've only tested on a leg hair and eyebrows.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: If you don't pick it up immediately, try again. If you get frustrated, try a couple hours later. This is seriously something that everyone should be able to do! I taught a girl at work and she couldn't do it at first but then once she got the first hair she was a pro. It took me about half an hour of trial and error before I actually got a hair!

Good Luck & Happy Threading!

Friday, May 1, 2009

May Day

Today when I flipped my Elvis calender (yes, I have an Elvis calender. It's not even that I particularly love Elvis, more along the lines of I don't want one of those lame ass cat and dog calenders in my cube. No offense), I noticed it was May Day.

Now this had me thinking. I've heard of May Day, I know it revolves around some sort of pole dancing and that is about all I got. So I did what I always do and wikipedia-d that shit. Here is what I came up with:

What is May Day:
May Day is exactly half a year from November 1st. It is the celebration to the end of the winter months. And a bunch of other shit

How is May Day celebrated?
Ok, supposedly there is a May Day basket. You put a basket on someone's door step, ring the doorbell and run. When they walk out and see a basket full of goodies they are supposed to go chasing after you. If they catch you, you get a smooch.

Now first of all, I've never heard about this May Day basket business. Second of all, I can't find anything on these on wikipedias May Day site. Maybe I'm thinking of a different holiday:

This holiday is crap. Apparently it isn't important because I'm in the office.

Just little random tid-bit:
Today is also LAW DAY. It is meant to show how the law is the foundation and its importance. Whatever, I've never heard of that either.

I did however find this during my search of May Day. Apparently, I missed a rockin' good time last year:

Happy May Day! (I guess you wish that to people)

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