the psychic.

I had 2 psychic readings today. For free. Both were dead on.

My sister has 4 coworkers that are psychics. Yes, psychics. Yes, four of them. A couple weeks ago she had a lady, Cat, read her coffee grounds. Of course, I was totally sucked into this and dying to have mine read. Sis talked to Cat and she said I could come in today when she got off work and have mine read.

I was told to bring in used coffee grounds, a styrofoam cup and a payday candy bar (Cat can see peoples fortune better if they are nice to her so since I've never met her apparently bringing her favorite candy bar is the next best thing)

When I first got to my sister's work, Cat hadn't finished her shift yet so I was sitting in the lobby with Sis. Pat (the other psychic) came up and started chatting to us and told my sister she was going out to smoke. With Pat, her abilities are hit or miss. She can't choose when to know something she just does. She was about halfway down the hall and comes back to me and says "Are you involved with anyone?" I told her not really, just Timmy and that was just sex. She looked at me and said "Whatever you do, don't trust him." Then she looked at my palm and told me that I will have three children. She said sometimes that it could be miscarriages and/or pregnancy (like 1 miscarriage, 2 children). That was all that Pat really said as she was still on the clock.

Cat clocks out and asks me to come into the back room with her while she mixes the cup. My sister grabs a cup for me (of course I had to forget something!!) and dumps the coffee grounds into the cup of water. Cat then grabs a plate and we go into the library where no one will bother me.

Once in the library she told me to swirl the coffee grounds while thinking about things I want her to touch on (I chose job, female issues/possible endometriosis, love life and my brother). She then had me put the plate over the top of the cup and flip it upside down. I had to spin the cup 3 full times (coffee ground water was spilling all over the plate!) and hand it to her. She took the cup off of the plate and peered into and that's how she was able to see things about me. She said it was a bit difficult to read as it was a tall coffee cup, not a small one, but she knew things anyway!

Cat talked to me for a full hour until she had to meet her sister.

Here are some of the things I can remember:
-The first thing she told me is the house I'm living in has some minor plumbing issues (which my bathroom is jacked. My tub and sink drip water ALL the time).

- I have a silver lining around me. Cat said she doesn't see that often but it is similar to a guardian angel watching over me at all times. She also said that it brings luck to me.

-She doesn't see me having surgery for endometriosis. She told me that I need to go see a female gynocologist and they'll straighten everything out.

-My brother will get joint custody of his children. She sees his future ex wife moving back to Kentucky on her own. She said that my dad has some pull in the court system that we don't know about yet. She also kept seeing my brother throw his kids up in the air and catching them.

-She said that right now I can really relate to MJ's song "Man in the Mirror" because I'm going through big changes in my life

-She told me that I have a large group of friends and that I love to dance.

-She told me that I was going on a trip soon (Jill and I are traveling to Maryland in 3 weeks for a wedding), that we decided to drive instead of fly (true), we'll have fun. She told me that she feels that I'll catch the bouquet. She also said that Jill will be running around like a mad woman right before it's time to leave because she won't leave until everything is perfect and she'll procrastinate until the last minute to get everything done.

-She said I either already know or will meet a bald man. (I think I already know him). She said the bald man will somehow connect me to a man that I'll "get on with really well." She said that he'll be very tan, have stunning eyes and that we will make the perfect pair. She told me that he either works at/around the airport or I will meet him there. She thinks his name starts with R and could possibly be Ron. R is around my age. She seriously went to town on this person. She knew a ton about him.

-She knew I was unhappy with my job. She told me that she knew I felt under appreciated and that I have too much energy for my position. Cat also said that there was envy towards me because I was doing so well and when I leave they will have no reason not to give me a stellar recommendation. She said someone I know will help me find a job better suited for me, but I will not be leaving my current position until I find it.

- She told me I'll have more opportunities to travel in the future but I won't be able to take them due to work/finances

- She told me that although I don't always think so, all of my friends and family think I'm hilarious

-She talked a lot about Sam. She said that he and his family loved me very much and that he still does. She said it will crush him when I start to date again. She told me what type of dog he has (!), his roommate isn't a good influence on him and she even told me what he looked like.

It was ABSOLUTELY ridiculous how much Cat told me. She knew things that no one else would be able to pinpoint. I wish I had taken a pad of paper in there and written it all down so I could remember it. She was going so fast that I can't even remember it all. She told me that she would love to read me again and I seriously can't wait.

I'm a believer,
Rose.

I blame facebook.

The summer I graduated college (2007), I stopped at a local gas station to buy cigarettes. The cashier was a girl I went to high school with named Amy.

Me: Hi, how are you? I need a carton of marlboro menthol lights, please.
Amy: Here ya go. So, how many kids do you have?
Me: Um none, I just graduated from Private College two weeks ago.
Amy: Well, I have 2 at home and 1 in the oven.
Me: *thinking* Well, good for you. You're doing so well for yourself...working at the Marathon and three kids. Glad I don't have any...What 21 year old would want to have any kids? Let alone three???"

Fast forward two years.

I don't know if it is because I'm single with no real relationship anywhere on the horizon, the fact that I might have endometriosis and have a harder time getting pregnant or what, but I feel like every time I get on facebook someone I know is now engaged, getting married this weekend or pregnant.

I feel like I'm behind. Don't get my wrong, I'm loving the single life (to an extent and that extent involves sleeping with new men and doing whatever the hell I want), but this summer I feel like a big part of me suddenly turned on and is yearning to settle down, get married, get pregnant and begin nesting. I'm ready for the next stage of my life.

My younger, married sister is going to start trying for a baby soon. I feel like I should be the one trying because I'm oldest. I've always said I'm not sure if I want children. As of late, I do. I really do. At this point I would settle for an adult relationship with a man. (And by adult, I mean someone I love, who can support me, has a steady job and where the relationship actually has a future, so pretty much the entire opposite of my relationship with Sam). Just something to postpone this newly acquired baby fever.

I blame facebook for jump starting my biological clock. I know that I'm still young and have plenty of time, but I feel like my clock just started ticking and it's all I can hear. Tick. Marriage. Tock. Babies.

Am I the only one who feels this way???

Single and baby-less,
Rose

bummer.

For the first time in my life I didn't want to go into work today. When my alarm went off this morning I thought to myself "I really don't want to go in today and deal with everything." It's not that I despise my job, my heart just isn't in it. Don't get my wrong, I am grateful that I have a job in this economy with benefits and all that it entails.

I now know why I didn't want to go in. I got called into HR this morning. I didn't get my dream job (forgive me for not telling you what the position is, but it would give away who I am). HR Lady explained to me that it was because I didn't have the experience they wanted, which I already knew. She told me that they had well over 100 applicants; some with with every single qualification they wanted. I saw a resume on the printer last week and looked over it and it was perfect.

HR Lady said that the woman choosing the applicant hadn't made a final decision, but had conducted all of her first interviews and is working on second interviews. I didn't even get a first one. I just wish I could have at least had an interview; I felt that would prove to her that I was willing to do whatever it takes to gain this position. HR Lady also said had the opening been for an assistant position instead of associate, I probably would have the job.

HR Lady is setting up a time for us to meet with Boss Man next week. When I told him I was applying, he mentioned that he would do whatever it takes to get me in the position I want. So, next week we're going to discuss how to make that happen.

I have a feeling that I'll be working 2 jobs around the office, but I'm okay with that. I'll do whatever it takes... I want the job that bad. At least I'm able to do some other things around here to gain the knowledge I need so I will have a greater chance the next time an opportunity presents itself. There is still hope for the future.

At least now I can wear the uber cute outfit I was saving for the interview.

<3,
A still (somewhat) optimistic Rose

so I guess this is growing up....

I think the Ataris said it best... "Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up, these are the best days of our lives."

I'll be the first to admit that I had a hard time growing up. By growing up, I mean not being in college and having a 9-5(or in my case 8:30-5:30). I didn't want to graduate college. I broke down and cried about it. I tried to postpone it. I knew the end was coming and I wasn't at all prepared.

"You'll love being a grown up. Won't you be excited to have money after you graduate? You can buy the nice things you've always wanted" Every adult in my life said. "I'm so envious, you're going to be at the peak of your life!" said others. Then there were the "I wish I could be in your shoes and do it all again!" idiots.

I've technically been a "grown up" since May 2007. However, I didn't get my first "real job" (I don't consider working at a bar my first adult job) until October that year. So in my opinion, I've only been an adult 14 months.

I feel like all of the adults before me pulled the wool over my eyes. They flat out lied to my face. So I've decided to compile a list of reasons why being an adult blows:

1. The money everyone talks about? Still waiting for it. I knew that some money would be taken away for taxes, but I didn't expect it to be THAT much. Had I known I would be taxed so high I would have asked for more money.

2. Those nice things? They're few and far between. See 1 for further clarification.

3. The problems are so much bigger. It's no longer "Oh shit, I don't have an outfit to wear out tonight" it's more "Oh shit, I don't have enough money to eat!"

4. Working every day sucks. I want a snow day. One I don't have to make up. And one that I get paid for.

5. It's flat out depressing when I think that I'll be working 5 days a week (at least) for approximately the next 40 years. Unless I get lucky and win the lottery. Again, see number 1 because I can't even afford the effing ticket.

6. I have to dress up. By dressing up every day, it sucked the fun right out of it. I used to love it. Now I have no desire to ever see a skirt or dress pants again. And screw heels.

7. I have to go to bed early unless I want to drag at work and be a total bitch. I miss staying up until 4am. If I do this now then my schedule is off for at least a week.

8. I'm still waiting on that amazing apartment and loving my job part.

The only things I do have: A great relationship, satisfying sex and wonderful friends. So I guess although I don't have everything, I do have the things that matter.

Did people do this to you too?

<3,
Rose

Russian Roulette

good vs. bad news. Which do you want first? I choose bad:

Bad news:
--Apparently I've been playing a little game called Russian Roulette. Instead of bullets, I've been playing with eggs. Eggs that could become fertile and result in a baby. That's right, my doctor informed me yesterday she's pretty sure that I've been ovulating on the birth control I'm on. Yowzers. I was on it for 14 months.. I'm so glad that she caught it and even more glad I didn't get knocked up like the rest of the world around me is. Needless to say, I changed birth controls

--The doc suspects endometriosis, but can't tell unless she goes in surgically. I'm trying a new birth control for 2 months (and of course insurance doesn't cover it!) and if that doesn't work I have to take a hormone that puts your body into a non permanent menopause. I'm not at all interested in menopause at 23.

Good news:
-- I got a raise. Thank God. Plus, my boss encouraged overtime so I can make even more (Hello, time and a half!!). It's only 50 cents on the hour, but after seeing a lot of my company is getting laid off because of underperformace and budget, I'm happy. I didn't think I'd get anything.

-- I'm applying for my dream job. It's within my company, so if I don't get it, I still have this job to fall back on! Plus, my boss is really pulling for me to get it. I lack the experience needed, but he said if I don't get it this time that he'll start giving me things that deal with that aspect of the company to gain the experience I need. Plus, he said I would be compensated for any extra work I would be doing for experience. If it means working more and longer (and occasional Saturdays), I wouldn't mind; I know I would be happier with my life. This has been the job of my dreams for as long as I can remember.

Wish me luck, send me good vibes, pray for me, whatever. Just send some good thoughts my way for this job. I'll really need it since I lack the experience. I'll let you know how it goes during the interview. I assume it will be next week, but who knows.

<3,
IDK, My BFF Rose??