stupid broken organ.

Wow. I can't believe it has been almost a month since I've written! Exactly 5 days after my last post (which would have been November 17th), I had an emergency appendectomy (which would be why it's taken so long to write again!).

I was sick for 6 weeks. (yes, six very long, very excruciating weeks!). I had bronchitis, I had a sinus infection, I was throwing up for no reason, I had a cough and was literally turning into a snotface! The three days before I had surgery I threw up everything I tried to eat.

On Tuesday morning (November 17th), my Mom told me that I looked ghostly pale and suggested that I stay home from work. I looked at her and said "Mom, I've been sick for six solid weeks. Nothing is going to change today; I may as well go to work."

So off I went.

At work I joked around with a friend how I felt like I wasn't really sick but I was being poisoned slowly by someone I knew (I was watching Nip/Tuck the night before!), I just needed to figure out who was poisoning me and for what reason!

Around 10 that morning my stomachache started migrating toward my right side. I just knew it was either my period or appendicitis. Around noon the pain started increasing so I decided it would probably be best to leave for the day.

In the 20 minute drive from work to my Dad's office (I wanted to talk to my Mom) the pain amplified. I could barely get out of the car and couldn't stand upright. As soon as I saw my mom I burst into tears and said "Something is very wrong." She called the doctor and they set up an appointment for 3:30. I tried to sleep in my Dad's office while waiting the three hours until it was time to see the doctor. Around 3 I couldn't take the pain anymore and told Mom that I needed to go immediately. Every bump in the car sent radiating pain through my side.

The doctor took me right on back. I explained to him the pain I was having in my side and he examined me. When he touched my side I almost punched him in the face it hurt so bad. He said he thought it was the appendix & that I needed to go to the hospital for further testing. Before I left his office he gave me a shot of some sort of heaven. Took all the pain away for about an hour.

I got checked into the hospital around 4 and had a CT (probably 5ish...I had to drink that chalk crap). While waiting for the results to come back from the CT, my doctor came in and prescribed morphine for me as the meds from his office had worn off. As soon as the nurse gave me my dose of it, I felt a burning sensation in my throat and I could see a rash developing on my arm. My Mom said my eyes rolled back in my head and I plopped my head back on the pillow... I'm obviously allergic to Morphine! Doc was still nearby so he was able to give me a huge dose of benedryl and *voila* I was good again. However, after that I was only allowed Demerol!

The results came back around an hour after the CT scan. I was on the operating table less than half an hour after that. Luckily, my appendix hadn't ruptured but it was close; the doctor sent home pictures and you can see where it was bulging out. I am so lucky I went to the doctor when I did! The doctor was able to do it laproscopically and I ended up with an inch long scar under my boobs and a small one on my panty line and right under my belly button. Not so bad!

I ended up having 2 weeks off work. (Thank you, Thanksgiving for giving me a couple extra days off!) After two years of employment (which for me was about 2 weeks before my appendix went bust), we get 6 weeks paid time off for emergencies which was amazing since I didn't have enough sick time to cover the entire absence! It also looks like I will only have about $2,500 worth of medical bills too (which seems like a lot, but the surgery alone was $17,000).

It all happened so fast... less than 12 hours from the start of the pain until surgery! So yeah, I'm back and better than ever!

This post is already long enough, so I'll have part 2 coming up soon.... The surgeon who didn't want to do my surgery & the recovery nurse from hell are up next!!

Appendix free is the way to be!
Rose

Anchors Away!

There was some interest in my chest piercing. It can either be called a microdermal or anchor. This isn't going to be the best blog post ever; mainly just explaining it.

You can stay tuned for an awesome post about our Kings of Leon concert night

I've always dug anchors. I think they are totally bad ass. I've always heard that they were permanent, meaning once it's in, it's in for life. Seeing I have no tattoos or anything permanent on my body this of course freaked me the fuck out.

My sister has recently lost a ton of weight and wanted to get her hips pierced. Being a bit of a piercing pro, she asked me to go with her. She originally wanted surface piercings which have a really high rejection rate (about 80%). After talking to our piercer she explained that if an anchor is done correctly, it has a rejection rate of about 2-3%. She also told us that although we can't take the piece out ourselves, we can always come back to the shop where she can remove it. Semi-permanent .... Sounds perfect! She showed us her scar from where she had one (seriously, it looked like a tiny pimple).

She then showed us the jewelry. Below is a picture that shows what an anchor looks like and how it goes into your skin. you can see where the screw actually sits flush to your skin and your stud of choice screws in (we both chose diamonds). The holes (in the top) are for your skin to grow through to secure the anchor and the anchor actually only goes about 2mm under your skin.

My sister went first and winced. She screamed. She squeezed my hand until I thought I was going to cry. She then offered to pay for me to get mine done (which was about $75). I just chose a place I wanted and did it. Live fast, die young..right?

First the piercer pinched my skin over and over to loosen it up. It actually kind of hurt where I had it done because there isn't much skin there. The piercer pierced a hole in my skin (I didn't watch so I'm not sure if she did a dermal punch or with a needle).

As you can see, the the entrance hole and the back and front don't exactly line up. The piercer had to push and pry the anchor down to make sure it was in the correct position. It seriously hurt like a motherfucker. As soon as it was in place, I stood up and had a look.

It only hurt for the first 2 days maybe. It feels fine now and I can touch it (although I avoid doing that at all cost!) I've had it for 2 weeks today. In another 4 I can get the top diamond screw changed (there are colored gems and all that). Although in my opinion it hurt more than a normal piercing, the quick healing time is much worth it.

I actually wished I had chosen to move it up a little higher on my chest. TMI, but my boobs kind of squish together and put pressure on it when I sleep and irritate it a bit and I think it's moved it's placement. Also, depending on the bra I wear, it's placement is different. I sometimes have to adjust my boobs to make the piercing in the middle. I do like that it is hideable though, I actually have my shirt pulled down a bit in all of the pictures.

I like it. I'm not in love with it. I think I would be in love with it if it were a tad bit higher... I think it's cool and I don't know anyone else who has it.

So here are some pictures I know you all want to see. Forgive me for the quality (they were taken with my camera phone), for the inconsistency of the pictures (it's kind of hard to take multiple pictures of your boobs from the exact same angle!) and wearing the same necklace 2 times (but I just LOVE it)

This is right after it was implanted. Note how red my skin is around it from all of the pinching.
I know you've seen this picture, but this is what it looked like during week 1:

This was earlier this week. Maybe Monday?
Today: Sorry it's hard to see, I took this in the bathroom at work!

So yeah. Those are my boobs & that's my anchor. I'll let you all know when I decide to remove it!


-Rose

long time, no blog.

Hello Everyone. Yes, I've been a slacker. Yes, my "Summer Slump" is over. Well, I've said that before but this time I'm actually going to stick with it. I know I'm a shitty blogger and a shitty commenter. Even if I don't comment, it does not mean I don't read your blog (I do! What else do you do at work?!). If we don't follow you and you follow us; let us know. We want to read about your lives too!

Anyway.

I've decided to give you the updated life via pictures from my phone. This could get interesting :)

I turned 24.I was given more presents than I deserved including the coach purse below (with matching clutch), a camera and tickets to see KINGS OF LEON tomorrow... from Jill!

I quit smoking. Bye, Bye Marlboro Menthol Lights. Today is day 30 of being cigarette smoke free, thanks to Chantix. My Mom offered to pay for the prescription (about $150 a month for at least 3 months)


I've done massive amounts of shopping. I've always been a bit obsessed with vintage things and shopping. I've found a couple cute vintage stores and an auction that has things for relatively cheap. Here are some of my buys!

Whale necklace bought off Etsy

Vintage ring made out of an earring. I've decided I can totally make these and I will FINALLY have a use for tons of inherited clip-on earrings!
I am slightly obsessed with this lamp. It's my new lover. You can't tell by the picture, but it's huge. Like half my body.

Wine Wednesday. A new tradition of getting plowed and cooking a decent meal on Wednesday nights. This started to get expensive, so we have decided to only have it once a month.

I got a Microdermal / Anchor. Between my boobs. You can see the picture below, it's not a great one but it shows the placement. If you all want to know the story, I'll tell it in a later blog.
Yeah, I have a ton of pictures. Most aren't appropriate. Some have my face in them; some are completely freaking random.

I'll give it an honest effort to continue blogging. I <3 you all and miss you!

Yours,
Rose.

25 Inappropriate Things About Jill

I'm copying Rose on this one. I wanted to write something, but was having severe writer's block...so here it goes...25 Inappropriate Things About Me.

1. I have slept with over 25 people, in a matter of 5 years. It's only an average of 5 per year...However, the only guys I've slept with in the past two years are all repeats. Pretty much just cut that down to 25 guys in 3 years. Doesn't sound so good now huh?

2. I have 4 tattoos. My parents only know about two of them...

3. Some of you all will remember this from a previous post. Here it goes again...I slept with Rose's younger brother. He had just turned 18, I was 22.

4. I have one of the foulest mouths. I can drop "fuck" in a sentence 6 times without even noticing I'm doing it. I also really enjoy the words cunt and ass cobra.

5. I have had buttsex. Yes, I know Rose said this in hers...but not only have I done it once, I've done it 3 times. Not enjoyable at any point and time. I will not be doing this again. But hey, you've got to spice up the sex life somehow, right?

6. I tend to get tired of people quickly. So, when dating someone I usually end up going for the guys best friend. I have almost ruined several "bromances" due to this behavior. I'm not proud.

7. I have 5 vibrators. I only use one of them. It's rechargeable! It was also on sale for $60 from $150.

8. My word vomit is horrible. I have no verbal filter. I say what I think, at all times.

9. I think about sex more than a man. Seriously...sex, sex, sex.

10. I've been in the process of losing weight for a little over a year now. I'm not trying to lose it quickly, so I've only lost about 40 lbs since I started. I still look in the mirror and see what I used to. This works in my favor, guys now think I'm hot and because I'm not used to male attention like that I unintentionally blow them off and that turns them on. I win.

11. I can always get a good laugh off of some politically incorrect joke.

12. I once was driving in a parking lot at a local mall. There was a 3 way stop, I stopped first so I was supposed to go first. Anyway, this man in a mini van almost side swiped me. I yelled "Get the fuck out of the way, you ass-cobra!" The mini van's windows were open. The man just looked at me like "What did she just call me?" He was more confused than angry that I was yelling at him.

13. I have no problem making fun of people to their face, especially if I don't know you. I used to go shopping with my roommate. We would get fucked up, walk around and make fun of all the high school kids. I'm a winner.

14. My first time at Bonnaroo I bought some sweet tea and a corn dog at the Dave show. 15 minutes after taking my first sip of the sweet tea I started seeing Jesus in the clouds. That was the best sweet tea I have ever had.

15. Back in college, Rose and I crashed a Bachelor Party. We didn't even know these guys! I ended up almost sleeping with the Bachelor. A friend of ours came into the room and told me it wasn't going to happen. I rolled over and said "You think I'd actually do anything with that tiny thing? Gives a whole new meaning to "shake it like a salt shaker."

16. I never give second chances to people. You fuck me over, I will make your life a living hell. For example...my little sister in the sorority I was in during college. She fooled around with a guy I had been dating on and off for several years, during a time that me and him were together. I made her life so horrible that she transferred schools and decided she was a lesbian.

17. I used to keep Facebook open at work, all day long. Now, they've gone and blocked it. I feel like I'm beating the system by using my phone.

18. The other day while on lunch I went to this convention my employers were having. They had a group of handicapped kids performing a dance. I sat there and didn't know whether or not to laugh or cry. Everyone around me had no problem deciding which one to do...they were fighting back tears.

19. When Rose and I were checking out of our hotel in Baltimore, we had an Indian woman checking us out. She was asking me a question, I didn't understand a word that was coming out of her mouth. My response was "Huh?!?!?" in a rather loud voice. She asked again. Rather loudly I respond with "WHAT?!?!?" Rose walked off, while she was walking away I finally understood what the woman was saying to me, "Did you enjoy your stay?" My response, "Oh, huh"...I then walked off. One of the groomsmen was sitting at a table in the lobby. He looked at Rose and said, "Yeah, I'd walk off too if she were my friend." The entire lobby heard me acting like a dumbass.
Rose...she knew exactly what the woman was saying to me the entire time.

20. I once had sex within 3 feet of my roommate at the time. Good thing she was passed out drunk.

21. I made out with one of my best girl friends to get a guy away from me at a bar. He was "in love" with me and wouldn't stop dry humping my leg, we weren't even out on the dance floor. I told him I was a lesbian and that my friend was my long-term girlfriend.

22. I once met a guy from Hotornot.com at midnight in a random park, about 2 years ago. Turns out he's a really great guy. I'm actually going over to his place tonight... ;)

23. My friend Luke and I send emails back and forth everyday making fun of the teachers he works with. They send him stupid shit all day long, he sends it to me. I make fun of the person. He laughs. I laugh. Making fun of people, it's what I do best.

24. I don't like to be clothed.

25. I have this problem where I give people horrible looks without realizing that I am doing it. I've actually made a person cry, just by the way I looked at them. It's hard to describe, but trust me...if I don't like you, you can tell it by the look in my eyes...and I'm not shy about it.

analytics

It has been what feels like forever since I've written a blog post. My apologies. I'll start writing again, I swear.

I can't think of a good topic so I'm falling back on one I've wanted to do for months.

GOOGLE ANALYTICS

Here are some of my favorite searches (and of course, my running commentary!) that landed people on our blog since December 2008:

-fuck my life dot com
(why didn't this cheese ball just type it in the browser?)

-blowjobs
(awesome)

-put your party hat on. and by party hat i mean no panties
(I swear, I am going to send that text to a man one day)

-"we have located your pants"
(where have they been? I've been looking for them for AGES)

-accelerated reader test cheats
(stfu. I didn't know AR was still around!)

-barry manilow virus
(ugh. it's the equivalent of chlamydia to a laptop)

-blowjobs at the drive in
(that wasn't me!)

-vagina necklace
(okay, I understand stumbling across this online. However, actually searching for it? I hope they didn't buy it!)

-"a pelvic" doctor me
(you sure as fuck aren't giving me a pelvic exam if you're the pelvic doctor. And whats up with the incorrect use of quotations ??)

-"condiment as a verb"
(how in the hell did you end up on our blog??)

-"full bladder" "better orgasms"
(I'll take my chances on not having a better orgasm in order not to piss all over someone)

-"i just saw a midget buying"
(what? what did you see it buy? porn? an el camino? a mullet wig???)

-jill fart
(and it was rank)

-"life's a bitch" charm
(as in for a bracelet? that could work if Jill and I can't afford our "Best Fucking Friends" charm necklace!)

-"pooped my pants" panties
(do your panties say "pooped my pants" or did you do it?)

-"she had to pee so bad"
(story of my life)

-25 inappropriate things about me
(future blog post from Rose)

-1girl and 1cup
-3 cups 1girl
-to grils one cup
(okay. it's 2 girls, 1 cup.)

-apartment "peeing off the balcony"
(does this happen a lot? and you too have issues with quotes)

-asking when am i getting pregnant just because im newly married is pathetic
(how did you end up here? we're not married nor pregnant. interesting)

-blog posts about sonic drive in
(i'm assuming this was a Sonic employee. If so, email me at delightfullyinappropriate at yahoo dot com and i'll give you my address for the free coupons I should get for watching someone piss in your drive thru)

-boners caught in public
(i'm guessing a gay man searched this)

-did it really happen drunk
(probably)

-gave him boner
(done)

-girls fuck blogger
(we are girls. we fuck. we have a blog. we don't fuck blogger)

-i'd hit that 911
(I'm taking 911 as NOW. So, ditto)

-inappropriate ladies
(absofuckinglutely)

-jill got him cheating boyfriend ky 2009
(Jill, do we need to share something?)

-mature vulva
(mah. not here)

-puking sorority blowjob
(i've had some rough nights in the past but nothing to that extreme)

-when are kittens most plentiful
(spring. haha. i don't think there is ever a more plentiful time!)

-wifi "chest monitor"
(i don't even know what you mean. however, I applaud your use of quotes since nothing makes sense)

-young hotties no kids not married
(yep)

Perfection

Last night was the Dave Matthews concert. Dave was sexy (oh, man was he sexy), the music was amazing, the dancing was good, Tim Reynolds playing was a nice little surprise, the all night torrential downpour added a little something wonderful to the show (is anything in life better than dancing and singing in the rain to DMB? Anyone??).

One of the best nights we've had in a long time.

First off, Rose jammed the fuck out to Grey Street. He even said "Colors bold and bright" just they way she likes it. Seriously, Dave may have given her an orgasm. It was perfection. It was an overall amazing show, one of the best DMB concerts we've seen thus far (This is Rose's 4th and Jill's 3rd). He even ended with Halloween (which if you're a huge Dave enthusiast you know is rare and major jamming with occur).

And just to make you all jealous, here is the set list:

Dave Matthews Band
2009-06-16
Riverbend Music Center, Cincinnati, OH

Shake Me Like a Monkey
Funny The Way It Is
Stay Or Leave
Dive In
The Stone
Anyone Seen The Bridge
Too Much (tease)
Ants Marching
Lying In the Hands of God
Why I Am
Lie In Our Graves
So Damn Lucky
Seven
Jimi Thing
Squirm
You and Me
Everyday
#41
Grey Street

Encore:
Alligator Pie
Halloween

Still Jammin'
Rose & Jill

keepin' it classy.

So on Wednesday, Jill & I took a country dip for her birthday and to celebrate FUF a bit early (that would be Fucked Up Friday for those who don't know).

*The following has been added in by Jill, with Rose's permission:
I went to Rose's house and picked her up, we started driving. Rose was telling me where to drive, because I had no clue where I was going. We drove around for a good hour, finally I looked at Rose and asked her where the hell we were at. Rose calmly rolled down her window and said "Uh, I'm not sure. I think we are going to go under the interstate then we will be at the road that will take us back home."
ROSE HAD NO IDEA WHERE WE WERE!
Turns out, we had driven to the next town over, 30 minutes away!*

As soon as I got home I took a bath because I didn't want to smell. I got all paranoid that my parents would know that I was home if I drained the bathtub. Nevermind they probably heard me fill it up. Oh, classy, I know.

I passed out at about 8:30 that night. Mostly because I was tired, partly because I was out of my mind and quite possibly because I ate a junior bacon cheeseburger, chicken sandwich, fries and a large dr. pepper from Wendy's. Whatever.

About 9:30 I heard this loud boom but continued to sleep. Dad came in the room to see if something happened (like I fell out of the bed, I guess. I'm known for that and talking incoherently while sleeping) and asked me what it was.

This was our conversation:

Dad: What was that?
Rose: It was the cannon
D: What cannon?
R: The cannon on the road.
D: Huh?
R: The cannon that Jill and I passed on the road on my way home. What the fuck are you talking about?
D: What the fuck are you talking about?
R: I don't know.

Then I proceeded to fall back on the pillow and pass out.

Turns out, the cannon was a firework my brother set off.

Whatta Night,
Rose

heeeey there jilllllllian

My dearest Jillian,
Because I love you so much, tickets to see the above sexy man are on me. I'll even buy you a beer. Happy birthday!

Your BFF,
Rose

Going to the chapel, FUF style.

I was stalking visiting some of my friends facebook pages this morning and realized that today was graduation practice for the class of 2009.

This had me thinking about the day that Jill and I had graduation practice. Jill's & my name happen to be right next to each other in the alphabet. We ended up getting to walk and sit with each other during graduation and baccalaureate (how effing cool is that? just by chance sitting next to your best friend during graduation? let me tell you, we took pictures the entire time!)

Well, graduation / baccalaureate practice was at 10 on Friday morning. Our last day of class was the previous Monday so we had spent the last four days in a a drunk and smoking stupor. We were tore up, for real. Well, the night before we decided to do a little 8 dollar challenge. All you can drink for 8 bucks and let me tell you, we were serious. I always drank no less than 5 beers and no less than about 10 rum & diets..

Jill wakes me up at about 9:50 the next morning telling me to get my ass ready for practice.

I was drunk as a skunk. Not just the little bit of dizzy head most people have when you quit drinking 8 hours prior. I was a full on stumbling, not talking coherently, couldn't light my own cigarette, smelling like booze drunk bitch at 10 in the morning.

I somehow manage to find a t shirt and jeans to throw on and we went to the chapel to practice for our baccalaureate that would happen that night. All of the seniors line up and go through the main entrance. Once you get into the foyer, there are two separate doors to go through, one on the left and one on the right. The explained that we would be in two lines and both lines would walk through the right door and split from there to be seated.

I was on the left side. Being drunk I obviously didn't understand the directions. As soon as I made it in the chapel I make a beeline for the left door. Stumbling and running. However, I didn't notice there was no one in front or behind me. I vaguely heard someone yelling "Orange shirt. Orange shirt! Wrong way!" I didn't even know I had a damn orange shirt on. Then Jill yells "Rose, you idiot, you're going the wrong way!"

The only thing I could yell back was "I'm drunk!" I then proceeded to run and get back in line. Needless to say, it was a very long, very hot, very very drunk practice.

I think I for sure went out with a bang.

Still Drunk,
Rose

smooth

A guy from work, Tommy, has been pestering me to go bar hopping with him for at least a month. I finally gave in and told him I would go out Saturday night if he remembered to send me a text.

Sure enough, Saturday I received a text "Wanna go out tonight?" I figured why the hell not so I called up a work friend Lesley and asked her to go. Plus, earlier that day I bought a new pair of hot sex black patent Guess pumps that needed to have their debut. (I tried to find a picture, but couldn't)

I planned on going home after the night was over. When I picked up Lesley, I told her the plan, I would drink before we left if she would drive, have one drink at the bar and quit for the rest of the night so I could drive her home.

I started drinking and had a bit of a buzz by the time we made it to DownTown BigCity, we went to two sort of upscale bars that are connected. I like more of laid back place, but Tommy wanted to go so we gave in. We get inside and I immediately had to wait about 15 minutes to pee. Then I made my happy, slightly tipsy, self to the bar and ordered my favorite, Gin and Tonic.

Tommy decides he wants to dance. He is off dancing like a fool (no literally, dancing like a fool. He looked like John Travolta during his Saturday Night Fever days). We make our way to the dance portion of the bar. At the corner of the dance floor there was a little box for the bouncers/drunk women to stand on. Trying to act smooth, I was dancing in front of it and decided to step back onto it. Before I took my first step back and up, I looked at Lesley and said "Now this is how it's done."

I didn't make it.

I am not smooth.

I fell forward and twisted my ankle and was caught by a man with an afro and buck teeth. He was an ugly version of the Reading Rainbow guy, afro flat top included. Thank God I didn't break my ankle new heels. It would have been catastrophic.

AfroMan/ReadingRainbow looked at me after the tumble and said "I've been watching you all night and been waiting for a chance to ask you to dance." I looked at him, snarled my nose and pointed down, "Can't dance, I'm hurt."

Then he starts grinding on Lesley. Not only did I feel humiliated for her because I declined the bozo and he went for her, but I felt bad because HE HAD A BONER. Pure class people, pure class.

Your ankle breaker,
Rose

blowjobs and bathrooms

Under the Influence suggested a post on first/most memorable one night stand. Good topic. I have a couple memorable ones, but one takes the cake.

My first one night stand is also my most memorable. I think I've said it before, but I let Sam cash in on the V-Card so I was "everything but" girl in college (minus a few VERY close encounters with the Douche).

The very first night of college I met some upperclassmen girls (they lived in the room beside me and were actually in the sorority I later joined.) and they invited me to go out with them the first Saturday I was there. First of all, this is a huge no no. You are not allowed to go out with freshman during their orientation week. You are definitely not allowed to take them to a frat house. Being the rule breaker that I was, I went.

We got to the fraternity house and went and hung out in this guy named Brian's room. He was giving drinks away freely, another thing against the rules, no alcohol on campus. Of course, being a BAMF (that is Bad Ass Mother Fucker for those who do not know), I grabbed greedily. It wasn't a big deal for me to drink, I've been drinking since 6th grade, it was however a big deal because I couldn't buy the contraband. (He was 21 and I was a lowly 17, soon to be 18 year old). It was lemonade and vodka; I drank so much of that when I was in college it makes me sick to think about.

Fast forward a couple weeks. Brian and I had this major flirtation thing going on. Brian also had a girlfriend, Anna, who was in said sorority I later joined. Are you all sensing a pattern here? I'm a homewrecker, I guess. (Homewrecking tally that I've written about so far: Douche, Sam and now Brian). I guess I just have no morals. Ok, that is so not true, I was just young and dumb.

Eh, on to the story.

One night after massive amounts of binge drinking I decided I needed some WaHo (that would be Waffle House) in my life. Brian took me and another girl. We got back to campus and he dropped the other girl off at our dorm. He asked me if I wanted to go on a walk with him around campus. Sure, why the hell not? It's 3 in the morning and I'm drunk, maybe I should walk around and see if I can get a PI. We ended up walking by the student center on campus.

Brian worked at campus safety in the student center and paged the person on call. I'm not sure what excuse he used on the rent-a-cop, but he let us in the locked building. Next thing I know, we're downstairs and he is leading me into the men's bathroom where we proceeded to hook up. Classy, no? I assume we went into the bathroom because his girlfriend often slept in his dorm room.

After he had his glory we went back to the dorm. His girlfriend was asleep in his bed so I peaced out. If you're gonna be a homewrecker, you gotta keep that shit a secret.

It was a night of firsts: first one night stand (if you will), first time I had ever given a blowjob and the first (and only time) I've ever hooked up in a public bathroom. Although it was my first, he later told me "That was the best head EVER," which is a comment I've heard a couple times.

Just for the record, I know it's pretty filthy... being a mistress hooking up in a very public bathroom in a student center, and the men's room at that!

I guess Anna had an idea what was going on because she badmouthed me to the sorority and I didn't get a bid my freshman year. I'm guessing it was because I was a slut. Here is laughing at her though, as soon as she graduated I got that bid. HAHA.

Dirty Bathroom Whore,
Rose