Saturday, October 31, 2009


I fell in love with Damien Rice when I first heard him in 2003.

It reminds me of my freshman year of college. My roommate, the girl next door and I would hang out the window of our third floor dorm room and spit sunflower seeds (classy, no?) while gossiping & listening to Damien Rice.

We actually got to see him perform in Cincinnati that year on Easter. It was amazing.

I was feeling a bit nostalgic and decided to youtube some of his videos. I came across this video (one I've never seen) and fell in love. It's an amazing version of one of my favorite Damien Rice songs and I adore the way it's filmed. I figured I would share


Thursday, October 29, 2009

I need ooh la la la la

I just spent an obscene amount of time looking at sexinfo101 sex positions on my phone. When I should have been working.

I haven't had sex in a hot minute. Like I think the last time was beginning of August, maybe earlier. I'm going with beginning of August so I'm not AS depressed about this as I could be. This is the longest I've ever gone without any type of ANYTHING. I haven't even kissed anyone.

Plus, my vibrator went ka-put. I'm not kidding. So I bought 2 more (see #11) because I knew they wouldn't compare. They don't, of course.

All i know is that 3 months is a very. fucking. long. time.

I feel like my brain is going to explode. Or my body. Because all I think about is sex...

Does this make me a masochist?! ...Or am I just thinking like a man?

P.S. This song is just sex.


I always have mixed feelings on the season. I love summer, I hate winter. Spring is what leads into summer so it's okay in my book. But fall leads to winter. Bleh.

I love the colors of fall. The deep oranges, maroons, reds, yellows & browns. I love the smell of the first fire being lit in a home. I love that I get to pull out my sweaters, cardigans, hoodies, boots, mittens & scarves. I get to enjoy hot chocolate, football games and jumping into piles of leaves. I love the crisp mornings of the first frosts. I always look forward to carving pumpkins (I once carved Shakespeare!) Vanilla chai lattes and bowls of chili help round out this season. Oh, and can't forget Halloween & Thanksgiving, too.

The movie American Beauty has a line that explains exactly how I feel right now...

"...but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life."

Here are some pictures of Kentucky in the fall. They aren't wonderful as I took them with my phone. The colors of fall are magnificent.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Sitting there...waiting...take me on back...

Rose is currently sitting in our gynocologist's waiting room...yes we have the same gyno...
To ease some of her pre-"spread your legs as wide as possible" jitters Rose took a swig of some pretty intense cough medicine. I also decided that I should take a swig of my intense cough medicine as well (we both had the flu last week)...We have been text messaging for the past 30 minutes...

Jill: What does a 400 lb woman and a cement block have in common? Sooner or later they will both get laid by a Mexican (disclaimer: I have no problem with 400 lb. women, or mexicans...keep in mind I'm just trying to ease Rose's nerves...)
Rose: Haaaaahahaaaaa.
Jill: How do they differ? When you lay a cement block it doesn't follow you around for the next month.
Rose: I am sitting by a huuuuuuuuuuuuge white bitch right now. I think she *could* be hiding a baby under all her lovin'.
Jill: Or she could be baking a turkey in that oven.
Rose: Hahaha. I am so fucked up right now. You are crackin' me up.
Rose: or she could be skinny like a snake. But she just ate a pug so she's big in the middle.
Jill: It's definitely possible. You should look her in the eyes or get her to stick out her tongue.
Rose: No, she's got a sketch pot with her who probably wants to do dirty things with me. I can't be tempting him with all this sexiness.
Jill: Ha. Is he mexican?
Rose: No. I think he may look like an uglier and more poor Patrick Swayze...but I am took scared to really look.
Rose: I'm trying not to cough because there was a sign that said if you have a cough, wear a mask. I am not about that. I reeealy need to cough though. Fuck. My. Life.
Rose: P.S. I am glad you make yourself available to talk to me while I sit here. It really helps when people reply.
Jill: I'm your bitch...haha. You talked to me via text the entire time I was getting the IUD implanted.
Rose: Yeah. That made my vag hurt thinking about it.
Jill: Geeze. You can totally tell our gyno is a female. A man would jump at the opportunity to have a woman go all spread eagle in the stirrups...there would never be a wait.
Rose: I don't want a man Dr...if a man is poking around in the downtown train station it better be with his pody parts...Not stirrups.
Jill: Let's hope the train conductor is sexy.
Rose: No kidding.
Rose: Dude, our Doctor is a female.
Rose: Ohhh. I just got that. Laksjodifuaosfahahaha.
Rose: Patrick is sitting next to the woman now. He has his head in his hand staring at her. He may as well have hearts coming out of his eyes. Woof.
Rose: Okay. My appointment was 10 minutes ago. Don't they know cough syrup has a life span?
Rose: Jesus Christ. I swear touching God's face...they are having a tickle fight. Now his legs are on her. WTF? I am so sicked out right now. SHe just asked if they could get a mani/pedi after.
*Rose then sent me a picture of the man walking away, except I couldn't make out anything but a purse.*
Rose: The receptionist just asked me if I had an appointment. Pretty sure I don't normally sit in the gyno office for shits and grins. Plus, I signed in. And gave her my new insurance card.
Jill: Stupid bitch.
Rose. I would be so pissed off it I didn't. I would strip down and be like "I am not wasting good drugs. Examine me." She just checked...I do have an appointment.
Jill: Goooood.
Jill: While we are talking about the downtown train station...we are invited to a Fun Party!!!
Rose: Dude. I just asked the bald nurse if I could use the bathroom and she said "Make the bladder gladder!"
Jill: Was it the gray headed, weird one? You should have said, "Makes the floor wetter if you don't show me where the bathroom is." I apparently have pent up anger and aggression today.
Rose: I couldn't think of anything except balding.
Jill: It is now 45 minutes past appointment time.
Rose: I have anxiety.
Jill: Just think it will all be over in 30 minutes.
Rose: My insurance changed. Fucking $50 co-pay.
Jill: Dude, that sucks.
Rose: Blood test and exam done. I am peacing the fuck out of here.
Jill: WHOO!!!!!

Rose and I thought you all might get a laugh out of this normal conversation between us....hope you enjoyed.

Happy Monday to you all.
Rose and Jill

Friday, October 23, 2009

worth the wait.

Obviously I couldn't come up with something legit to write about yesterday. Waiting until today was a brilliant idea. I have a decent (if strange) topic to blog about.

I needed to make a trip to the local Wal-Mart (why, oh why is Target so far away?!) last night. Apparently I should have just gone to Target during my lunch break because my local store is apparently where all the creep status people hang out at night.

I went in on a mission. Yoga blocks. I grabbed my yoga blocks and several Naked smoothies (um, my absolute FAVORITE!) for the week. I went to the check out and of course all of the quick lanes were closed. I headed to one of the shorter check out lanes and got in line.

There were two people ahead of me, a woman with bleached blonde hair (dark roots, of course) with a shit ton of groceries and a ginger man with groceries as well. I was about to drop the smoothies (I had 2 of the big ones and 3 small ones and no basket) so when the ginger directly in front of me moved up a bit, I sat my drinks on the conveyor.

Apparently to him that meant I wanted to strike up a conversation.

He looked at what I was buying and started talking to me about the drinks. I immediately new this kid was weird. And quite possibly gay (I was relieved when he started talking and I knew he wasn't going to hit on me or ask for my number).

He told me he didn't like one of the flavors I was buying. He went on to tell me about another type of smoothie available that I should try. Blah, blah, blah. I avoided eye contact because he was starting to creep me out. No one should talk THAT much about a smoothie. I mean, I can deal with a short friendly conversation in the line at the supermarket if need be, but I prefer not to talk to anyone.

Finally he stopped talking. I engrossed myself with the gum hoping he would not feel the urge to strike up conversation round two.

I would say 30 seconds went by in silence.

Then he looked at me and said...

"Do you like pickles?"

I know I had the "what the fuck are you talking about?" look on my face. There are not pickles in smoothies. I looked around to see what he was talking about. I then saw that he had pickles in with his groceries, but he had quite a few groceries. It's not like he was just buying a a jar of pickles. I feel like the question came out of left field.

Words failed me. I couldn't come up with a good come back. I couldn't come up with anything. I didn't want to say yes because I didn't want to find out why he was asking. I just said "No." End of conversation.

He took forever to grab his bags. I immediately called Jill because I honestly felt like this guy was going to try and walk me to my car or something.

I'm still flabbergasted by the question. I'm sitting at my desk trying to figure out why in the hell you would ask a stranger if they like pickles... Maybe he was going to give me a recipe?

I just don't get it.

What's the dill, pickle?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

blogging fail.

I've been sitting at my desk trying to figure out what topic I would like to write about today.

I have so many different ideas swirling around in my head (including, but not limited to: sex, Kings of Leon concert, dating (or lack thereof), sex, jail, back packing through Europe in April, sex, needing a change, having my anchor removed, sex).

I've started several different entries but haven't written more than a couple sentences for each.

The words aren't coming out the way I would like them to today.

I'll try again. If something magical happens today, I'll post it.


P.S. I think everyone should see "Where the Wild Things Are"

Friday, October 16, 2009

Anchors Away!

There was some interest in my chest piercing. It can either be called a microdermal or anchor. This isn't going to be the best blog post ever; mainly just explaining it.

You can stay tuned for an awesome post about our Kings of Leon concert night

I've always dug anchors. I think they are totally bad ass. I've always heard that they were permanent, meaning once it's in, it's in for life. Seeing I have no tattoos or anything permanent on my body this of course freaked me the fuck out.

My sister has recently lost a ton of weight and wanted to get her hips pierced. Being a bit of a piercing pro, she asked me to go with her. She originally wanted surface piercings which have a really high rejection rate (about 80%). After talking to our piercer she explained that if an anchor is done correctly, it has a rejection rate of about 2-3%. She also told us that although we can't take the piece out ourselves, we can always come back to the shop where she can remove it. Semi-permanent .... Sounds perfect! She showed us her scar from where she had one (seriously, it looked like a tiny pimple).

She then showed us the jewelry. Below is a picture that shows what an anchor looks like and how it goes into your skin. you can see where the screw actually sits flush to your skin and your stud of choice screws in (we both chose diamonds). The holes (in the top) are for your skin to grow through to secure the anchor and the anchor actually only goes about 2mm under your skin.

My sister went first and winced. She screamed. She squeezed my hand until I thought I was going to cry. She then offered to pay for me to get mine done (which was about $75). I just chose a place I wanted and did it. Live fast, die young..right?

First the piercer pinched my skin over and over to loosen it up. It actually kind of hurt where I had it done because there isn't much skin there. The piercer pierced a hole in my skin (I didn't watch so I'm not sure if she did a dermal punch or with a needle).

As you can see, the the entrance hole and the back and front don't exactly line up. The piercer had to push and pry the anchor down to make sure it was in the correct position. It seriously hurt like a motherfucker. As soon as it was in place, I stood up and had a look.

It only hurt for the first 2 days maybe. It feels fine now and I can touch it (although I avoid doing that at all cost!) I've had it for 2 weeks today. In another 4 I can get the top diamond screw changed (there are colored gems and all that). Although in my opinion it hurt more than a normal piercing, the quick healing time is much worth it.

I actually wished I had chosen to move it up a little higher on my chest. TMI, but my boobs kind of squish together and put pressure on it when I sleep and irritate it a bit and I think it's moved it's placement. Also, depending on the bra I wear, it's placement is different. I sometimes have to adjust my boobs to make the piercing in the middle. I do like that it is hideable though, I actually have my shirt pulled down a bit in all of the pictures.

I like it. I'm not in love with it. I think I would be in love with it if it were a tad bit higher... I think it's cool and I don't know anyone else who has it.

So here are some pictures I know you all want to see. Forgive me for the quality (they were taken with my camera phone), for the inconsistency of the pictures (it's kind of hard to take multiple pictures of your boobs from the exact same angle!) and wearing the same necklace 2 times (but I just LOVE it)

This is right after it was implanted. Note how red my skin is around it from all of the pinching.
I know you've seen this picture, but this is what it looked like during week 1:

This was earlier this week. Maybe Monday?
Today: Sorry it's hard to see, I took this in the bathroom at work!

So yeah. Those are my boobs & that's my anchor. I'll let you all know when I decide to remove it!


Friday, October 9, 2009

long time, no blog.

Hello Everyone. Yes, I've been a slacker. Yes, my "Summer Slump" is over. Well, I've said that before but this time I'm actually going to stick with it. I know I'm a shitty blogger and a shitty commenter. Even if I don't comment, it does not mean I don't read your blog (I do! What else do you do at work?!). If we don't follow you and you follow us; let us know. We want to read about your lives too!


I've decided to give you the updated life via pictures from my phone. This could get interesting :)

I turned 24.I was given more presents than I deserved including the coach purse below (with matching clutch), a camera and tickets to see KINGS OF LEON tomorrow... from Jill!

I quit smoking. Bye, Bye Marlboro Menthol Lights. Today is day 30 of being cigarette smoke free, thanks to Chantix. My Mom offered to pay for the prescription (about $150 a month for at least 3 months)

I've done massive amounts of shopping. I've always been a bit obsessed with vintage things and shopping. I've found a couple cute vintage stores and an auction that has things for relatively cheap. Here are some of my buys!

Whale necklace bought off Etsy

Vintage ring made out of an earring. I've decided I can totally make these and I will FINALLY have a use for tons of inherited clip-on earrings!
I am slightly obsessed with this lamp. It's my new lover. You can't tell by the picture, but it's huge. Like half my body.

Wine Wednesday. A new tradition of getting plowed and cooking a decent meal on Wednesday nights. This started to get expensive, so we have decided to only have it once a month.

I got a Microdermal / Anchor. Between my boobs. You can see the picture below, it's not a great one but it shows the placement. If you all want to know the story, I'll tell it in a later blog.
Yeah, I have a ton of pictures. Most aren't appropriate. Some have my face in them; some are completely freaking random.

I'll give it an honest effort to continue blogging. I <3 you all and miss you!


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Am I going to die?

Back a few months ago, I moved to Redneck City, KY. Of course, it's not really called Redneck City but probably should be. Anyway, my roommate and I have had our fair share of bonfires, camping trips and shooting guns in the past few months that we decided to change things up a bit. We went hiking.

Now, hiking I can do (or so I thought). I figured we would drive to some place in the Red River Gorge, park the car, get out and walk a bit then return. I figured wrong.

We end up going to Pilot's Knob. I had heard about Pilot's Knob in one of my Kentucky History classes during college but never really considered how one would get up there. I got out of the car, looked around and saw a trail going off to the left. It looked easy enough.

We start walking down the trail, talking, having a good time. Meg (my roommate) starts telling me about the last time she hiked up to Pilot's Knob. She's using phrases such as "I thought I was going to die" and "It was pure hell on Earth." So, I start asking questions...

First Question:

How far will we be walking?


It's about a mile and half up and a mile and half down, but don't worry about the down part of'll be sliding the entire way.

Second Question:



Yes, sliding on your butt. It's faster and easier that way.

Third Question:

How far up are we going?


All the way. To the peak of the hill.

**by hill, they actually meant mountain**

Fourth Question:

Am I going to die?


No one answered.

We continue walking **and by walking I mean climbing** up this so called hill. I'm not lying when I say that it was straight up the entire way. Occasionally you would come across a ridge and be on flat ground for like 10 steps. Anyway, we get about 1/4 of the way up and my face is blood red and I'm out of breath. I stopped, looked around and decided that this trip was not for me. I considered walking back down. However, I continued.

I finally get up to the top after puking twice and wanting to die. Now, I have to say this...I'm allergic to onions and I had eaten something that had either touched or had onions in/on it that day. I maintain the stance that this is what caused me to puke.

It was absolutely gorgeous at the top. You could see both Lexington and Richmond, KY. We stayed up on the knob for about 15 minutes then started our descent.

We literally slid down on our butts the entire way down. My ass looked like I had shit myself about 15 times from all the mud on me. However, this was the most fun I've had in a long time. Imagine a 700 foot slide. It was great! Meg ripped open the back of her pants. She totally lost the pocket to her jeans!

If you all are around the KY area and like hiking I would definitely recommend visiting Pilot's Knob...just be prepared.

Friday, October 2, 2009

First time in Over a Month...

Yeah, bet that got your attention...

This is the first time in over a month that I have even checked the blog. Our friend Mary reminded Rose and me that the summer blog-procrastination must end!

So, I see where Rose has done the "Expose Yourself" blog...However, since I got your hopes up with the title I figure I'll do the "Expose Yourself" blog as well (don't worry though, I've been storing up some inappropriate blogs for you all of which will be posted for your reading pleasure).

The rules state: Tell us 3 things about your sex life. You can make them whatever you want and it doesn't necessarily have to pertain to your current partner (or a partner at all for that matter). You can talk about your likes or dislikes, your kinky fetishes or your secret desires. You can tell us a funny story about the time you were having sex in the woods with your old boyfriend and you both ended up with 1,000 tics. Whatever you want... its totally up to you.

1. I have a stockpile of vibrators. Some of which I have never even used. I figure, when one goes out I'll always have a spare (or several).

2. I once met a guy on I decided to meet him. I'm classy. Turns out he knows my entire family. Anyway, we met had a great time....then we started fucking. Three years later and I still talk to him on occasion. Actually this past Monday we hooked up again. One night I met him at a library in town where I told him he needed a "study break". This study break ended up with us going on a country drive to a church parking lot where I proceded to give him a blow job. We ended up having sex in the back of his car, in the church parking lot. This took place on a Wednesday night...they had a few church members lingering around the church after Wednesday night services. I'm that girl.

3. I really don't have a favorite position. I can tell you that anything from behind and anything with legs over shoulders is good. I can also tell you that car hoods are the perfect height for sex. I can also tell you that nipple play is way under-rated. Yeah, I went there. Seriously though, it intensfies orgasms.

I'm going to pass this on to anyone who hasn't done it already...


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