Sitting there...waiting...take me on back...

Rose is currently sitting in our gynocologist's waiting room...yes we have the same gyno...
To ease some of her pre-"spread your legs as wide as possible" jitters Rose took a swig of some pretty intense cough medicine. I also decided that I should take a swig of my intense cough medicine as well (we both had the flu last week)...We have been text messaging for the past 30 minutes...

Jill: What does a 400 lb woman and a cement block have in common? Sooner or later they will both get laid by a Mexican (disclaimer: I have no problem with 400 lb. women, or mexicans...keep in mind I'm just trying to ease Rose's nerves...)
Rose: Haaaaahahaaaaa.
Jill: How do they differ? When you lay a cement block it doesn't follow you around for the next month.
Rose: I am sitting by a huuuuuuuuuuuuge white bitch right now. I think she *could* be hiding a baby under all her lovin'.
Jill: Or she could be baking a turkey in that oven.
Rose: Hahaha. I am so fucked up right now. You are crackin' me up.
Rose: or she could be skinny like a snake. But she just ate a pug so she's big in the middle.
Jill: It's definitely possible. You should look her in the eyes or get her to stick out her tongue.
Rose: No, she's got a sketch pot with her who probably wants to do dirty things with me. I can't be tempting him with all this sexiness.
Jill: Ha. Is he mexican?
Rose: No. I think he may look like an uglier and more poor Patrick Swayze...but I am took scared to really look.
Rose: I'm trying not to cough because there was a sign that said if you have a cough, wear a mask. I am not about that. I reeealy need to cough though. Fuck. My. Life.
Rose: P.S. I am glad you make yourself available to talk to me while I sit here. It really helps when people reply.
Jill: I'm your bitch...haha. You talked to me via text the entire time I was getting the IUD implanted.
Rose: Yeah. That made my vag hurt thinking about it.
Jill: Geeze. You can totally tell our gyno is a female. A man would jump at the opportunity to have a woman go all spread eagle in the stirrups...there would never be a wait.
Rose: I don't want a man Dr...if a man is poking around in the downtown train station it better be with his pody parts...Not stirrups.
Jill: Let's hope the train conductor is sexy.
Rose: No kidding.
Rose: Dude, our Doctor is a female.
Rose: Ohhh. I just got that. Laksjodifuaosfahahaha.
Rose: Patrick is sitting next to the woman now. He has his head in his hand staring at her. He may as well have hearts coming out of his eyes. Woof.
Rose: Okay. My appointment was 10 minutes ago. Don't they know cough syrup has a life span?
Rose: Jesus Christ. I swear touching God's face...they are having a tickle fight. Now his legs are on her. WTF? I am so sicked out right now. SHe just asked if they could get a mani/pedi after.
*Rose then sent me a picture of the man walking away, except I couldn't make out anything but a purse.*
Rose: The receptionist just asked me if I had an appointment. Pretty sure I don't normally sit in the gyno office for shits and grins. Plus, I signed in. And gave her my new insurance card.
Jill: Stupid bitch.
Rose. I would be so pissed off it I didn't. I would strip down and be like "I am not wasting good drugs. Examine me." She just checked...I do have an appointment.
Jill: Goooood.
Jill: While we are talking about the downtown train station...we are invited to a Fun Party!!!
Rose: Dude. I just asked the bald nurse if I could use the bathroom and she said "Make the bladder gladder!"
Jill: Was it the gray headed, weird one? You should have said, "Makes the floor wetter if you don't show me where the bathroom is." I apparently have pent up anger and aggression today.
Rose: I couldn't think of anything except balding.
Jill: It is now 45 minutes past appointment time.
Rose: I have anxiety.
Jill: Just think it will all be over in 30 minutes.
Rose: My insurance changed. Fucking $50 co-pay.
Jill: Dude, that sucks.
Rose: Blood test and exam done. I am peacing the fuck out of here.
Jill: WHOO!!!!!


Rose and I thought you all might get a laugh out of this normal conversation between us....hope you enjoyed.

Happy Monday to you all.
<3,
Rose and Jill

long time, no blog.

Hello Everyone. Yes, I've been a slacker. Yes, my "Summer Slump" is over. Well, I've said that before but this time I'm actually going to stick with it. I know I'm a shitty blogger and a shitty commenter. Even if I don't comment, it does not mean I don't read your blog (I do! What else do you do at work?!). If we don't follow you and you follow us; let us know. We want to read about your lives too!

Anyway.

I've decided to give you the updated life via pictures from my phone. This could get interesting :)

I turned 24.I was given more presents than I deserved including the coach purse below (with matching clutch), a camera and tickets to see KINGS OF LEON tomorrow... from Jill!

I quit smoking. Bye, Bye Marlboro Menthol Lights. Today is day 30 of being cigarette smoke free, thanks to Chantix. My Mom offered to pay for the prescription (about $150 a month for at least 3 months)


I've done massive amounts of shopping. I've always been a bit obsessed with vintage things and shopping. I've found a couple cute vintage stores and an auction that has things for relatively cheap. Here are some of my buys!

Whale necklace bought off Etsy

Vintage ring made out of an earring. I've decided I can totally make these and I will FINALLY have a use for tons of inherited clip-on earrings!
I am slightly obsessed with this lamp. It's my new lover. You can't tell by the picture, but it's huge. Like half my body.

Wine Wednesday. A new tradition of getting plowed and cooking a decent meal on Wednesday nights. This started to get expensive, so we have decided to only have it once a month.

I got a Microdermal / Anchor. Between my boobs. You can see the picture below, it's not a great one but it shows the placement. If you all want to know the story, I'll tell it in a later blog.
Yeah, I have a ton of pictures. Most aren't appropriate. Some have my face in them; some are completely freaking random.

I'll give it an honest effort to continue blogging. I <3 you all and miss you!

Yours,
Rose.

guilty

We're probably all offenders of this: sending text messages while inebriated. Sucks when you're the sender. Amazing when you read other peoples drunk texts.

Case in point: www.textsfromlastnight.com

Here are a few of my favorites:

(312): My room smells like vodka and shame

(970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

(917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
(917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
(917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
(718): messed up. what color are the wings?

(405): I'm drunk
(615): Is that why you're texting me
(405): Yes

(206): put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

(415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

(612): Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
(1-612): strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
(612): could be more
(1-612): absolutely not

(248): is swine flu sexually transmttd?
(313): Ha no, why?
(248): sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad

(817): I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.

(617): Did you hit it?
(616): Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.


delighted none were from me,
Rose