Friday, July 31, 2009

Balt <3 Amour

Ladies and Gentlemen...I'm writing my first post in a loooooong time. Sorry for my lack of presence here lately, I know you all missed me...haha.

Rose and I just got back from a lovely extended weekend in Baltimore. I had no clue that the original Washington Monument is in downtown Baltimore! Rose was nice enough to let me stop, pay for valet parking and walk to the damn statue. I have a small obsession with good ole' George Washington...or Georgie as I refer to him as.

We had a great time in Charm City. My best friend from high school was getting married, I was her Maid of Honor...I wouldn't have been able to make it without Rose along for the haul. Luckily I'm fortunate to have a best friend willing to make a 9 hour drive with me just to watch someone get married. Of course we had our share of mischief.

Rose and I got into the Baltimore area last Thursday afternoon. We had a little bit of time before the rehearsal dinner, so we decided to grab some lunch. Before we left we decided that we should get crab legs, since we were close to the coast and they would be fresh. We go to this cute little place called Wet Willy's Crab Deck, thinking they would have the best crab legs we had ever eaten. We decided to split an order of a dozen...we waited for our food. When the waitress came out with our food, she plopped 12 WHOLE CRABS on our table.

Rose's face went blank. I decided to take control of the situation and told the woman that I needed to be "reminded" of how to get into the crab to get the meat. She showed gag reflex started going full speed ahead. I new that Rose couldn't do it, so it was all up to me. I think we maybe ate 7 of the damn crabs.
Apparently this is the only way you can get crab in Maryland...disgusting. WTF?

In our adventures, the GPS took us straight through the Baltimore ghetto. GPS's really should have a feature that is called "Reroute though a better part of town." I feared for my life. Scary shit.

One afternoon Rose and I were starving...this was on the same day we saw Georgie...We decided that after stopping to see the monument that we would grab some food. We pulled out the trusty (or not so trusty) GPS to find somewhere to eat within walking distance. In honor of George we decided to walk over to The Mount Vernon Stable.

At this restaurant we ended up having the most fabulous crab soup ever. It totally made up for the earlier crab situation. We also sat next to two drag queens who were in their 60's. Amazing...they didn't even try to cover up their masculine voices. Made my day.

In a nutshell that was our trip to Baltimore. We had a blast...I've decided that a 4 day weekend once every 6 months is completely necessary. Where should I go next? I was thinking maybe D.C. Where-ever it is I hope that it is just as much fun as Baltimore.


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Best Conversation EVER.

My sister told me about a conversation she overheard by my parents. When she told me I started laughing so hard I almost pissed my pants. In fact, I am still cracking up over it.

My Dad is very conservative, quiet and reserved. My Mom, not so much. She is more like me: loud, always has to say SOMETHING and most of the time its inappropriate. My parents are polar opposites and I think that is why they get along so well.

On to the conversation:
Mom (who was being dead serious): I need to get a new dress, D.
Dad: Well, why? Are we going somewhere? Do you really need a new one?
Mom (still holding strong and being serious): Yeah, I need it for MJ's funeral.
Dad: *mutters* Jesus Christ.

I so wish I could have heard it. Now, my Mom wouldn't really get a dress for the funeral of MJ, she just likes to get my dad all riled up. This totally tops the list of things she does to aggravate my father!

I know Jill is cracking up reading this just thinking about my Mom saying that to my good old conservative pops!


Saturday, July 4, 2009

the psychic.

I had 2 psychic readings today. For free. Both were dead on.

My sister has 4 coworkers that are psychics. Yes, psychics. Yes, four of them. A couple weeks ago she had a lady, Cat, read her coffee grounds. Of course, I was totally sucked into this and dying to have mine read. Sis talked to Cat and she said I could come in today when she got off work and have mine read.

I was told to bring in used coffee grounds, a styrofoam cup and a payday candy bar (Cat can see peoples fortune better if they are nice to her so since I've never met her apparently bringing her favorite candy bar is the next best thing)

When I first got to my sister's work, Cat hadn't finished her shift yet so I was sitting in the lobby with Sis. Pat (the other psychic) came up and started chatting to us and told my sister she was going out to smoke. With Pat, her abilities are hit or miss. She can't choose when to know something she just does. She was about halfway down the hall and comes back to me and says "Are you involved with anyone?" I told her not really, just Timmy and that was just sex. She looked at me and said "Whatever you do, don't trust him." Then she looked at my palm and told me that I will have three children. She said sometimes that it could be miscarriages and/or pregnancy (like 1 miscarriage, 2 children). That was all that Pat really said as she was still on the clock.

Cat clocks out and asks me to come into the back room with her while she mixes the cup. My sister grabs a cup for me (of course I had to forget something!!) and dumps the coffee grounds into the cup of water. Cat then grabs a plate and we go into the library where no one will bother me.

Once in the library she told me to swirl the coffee grounds while thinking about things I want her to touch on (I chose job, female issues/possible endometriosis, love life and my brother). She then had me put the plate over the top of the cup and flip it upside down. I had to spin the cup 3 full times (coffee ground water was spilling all over the plate!) and hand it to her. She took the cup off of the plate and peered into and that's how she was able to see things about me. She said it was a bit difficult to read as it was a tall coffee cup, not a small one, but she knew things anyway!

Cat talked to me for a full hour until she had to meet her sister.

Here are some of the things I can remember:
-The first thing she told me is the house I'm living in has some minor plumbing issues (which my bathroom is jacked. My tub and sink drip water ALL the time).

- I have a silver lining around me. Cat said she doesn't see that often but it is similar to a guardian angel watching over me at all times. She also said that it brings luck to me.

-She doesn't see me having surgery for endometriosis. She told me that I need to go see a female gynocologist and they'll straighten everything out.

-My brother will get joint custody of his children. She sees his future ex wife moving back to Kentucky on her own. She said that my dad has some pull in the court system that we don't know about yet. She also kept seeing my brother throw his kids up in the air and catching them.

-She said that right now I can really relate to MJ's song "Man in the Mirror" because I'm going through big changes in my life

-She told me that I have a large group of friends and that I love to dance.

-She told me that I was going on a trip soon (Jill and I are traveling to Maryland in 3 weeks for a wedding), that we decided to drive instead of fly (true), we'll have fun. She told me that she feels that I'll catch the bouquet. She also said that Jill will be running around like a mad woman right before it's time to leave because she won't leave until everything is perfect and she'll procrastinate until the last minute to get everything done.

-She said I either already know or will meet a bald man. (I think I already know him). She said the bald man will somehow connect me to a man that I'll "get on with really well." She said that he'll be very tan, have stunning eyes and that we will make the perfect pair. She told me that he either works at/around the airport or I will meet him there. She thinks his name starts with R and could possibly be Ron. R is around my age. She seriously went to town on this person. She knew a ton about him.

-She knew I was unhappy with my job. She told me that she knew I felt under appreciated and that I have too much energy for my position. Cat also said that there was envy towards me because I was doing so well and when I leave they will have no reason not to give me a stellar recommendation. She said someone I know will help me find a job better suited for me, but I will not be leaving my current position until I find it.

- She told me I'll have more opportunities to travel in the future but I won't be able to take them due to work/finances

- She told me that although I don't always think so, all of my friends and family think I'm hilarious

-She talked a lot about Sam. She said that he and his family loved me very much and that he still does. She said it will crush him when I start to date again. She told me what type of dog he has (!), his roommate isn't a good influence on him and she even told me what he looked like.

It was ABSOLUTELY ridiculous how much Cat told me. She knew things that no one else would be able to pinpoint. I wish I had taken a pad of paper in there and written it all down so I could remember it. She was going so fast that I can't even remember it all. She told me that she would love to read me again and I seriously can't wait.

I'm a believer,

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