Monday, January 12, 2009

Who Stole the Candy (From the Candy Jar)?

On my bookshelf at work I have a candy jar. I don't mind if people take a piece or two occasionally. However, I do mind when someone takes 2/3 of it in one day. Especially if I'm not at my desk.

I left about half an hour early on Friday and when i came back in this morning my entire candy jar had been depleted. There were no more pieces of Laffy Taffy. There are only about 10 boxes of Nerds left. Did I really spend 6 bucks on a bag of candy just to have it all eaten while I'm away? This is one of those things that makes me livid that shouldn't...

I believe this pisses me off so much because this isn't the first time this has happened. I know who did it because it was the same person who did it last time; we'll call him Candy Thief (or CT for short). Last time I bought a bag of candy was around Halloween. I thought it would be nice to have it for anyone who would like a piece. Most people ask, but CT does not. He comes into my cube and takes it.

I filled my jar with about 8 bucks worth of KiddieMix. CT came over and asked for a piece. I said "Sure." Then I said something along the lines of "I spent 8 bucks for 10 jawbreakers!" Then I explained my love for Jawbreakers and my sadness over how you can't just buy the good ones by themselves, only in a mix.
Well, I got a virus and missed 3 work days. When I came back I was looking forward to a Jawbreaker. I looked in my jar and there were none to be found. No Dots. No Smarties. Nothing. Only those nasty hard candies & peppermints were left. I was all "WTF? Where did all the candy go?"

Then CT came over and said, "Can I have another piece of candy?" My reply, "Sure, have all you want… The only thing left is hard candy & peppermints and I don't like either." Which his response was this: "Yeah, I ate all the Jawbreakers."

So I asked him what happened to the rest "Yeah, I ate that too."Um, excuse me? Did I hear that right? First of all, did I not just explain to you last week that those were my favorite? That means don't eat them all. On top of that, if I wanted you to eat every single piece of candy in the fucking jar I would have put it on your fucking desk.

"You ate all my Jawbreakers, CT? Are you serious?!" He was. He ate every good piece of candy in the jar. I called him out on it and he didn't really have anything to say. I've hated him ever since and am still bitter about it. I was so pissed about it that I left the bad candy in there until last Thursday when I bought the new Valentines bag.

He was eyeing the candy jar when I re-filled it. He came up and asked for a piece "CT, you can't be serious? You ate everything out of it last time!" His response "Well, I brought in a bag of M&Ms for S." (He apparently emptied out her dispenser last week). My response, "Gee, thanks, CT. Glad you made the extra effort to fill S's depleted machine and decided not to bring anything to fill mine up when you at all mine almost 2 months ago." Then I gave him the glare that said "Fuck off. You aren’t getting my candy, you ass monkey." Needless to say, he walked away empty handed.

Apparently, CT waited until I was gone to ravage my candy jar. Now, S has a full M&M dispenser and I have maybe 10 packs of Nerds.

I conclude: This is War, CT. Next time you stick your grubby little fingers in my candy jar I will crunch each & every one of them with my stiletto heel. And I'm not even fucking kidding.
Your BFF Rose?


PoisonIvy068 said...

i would be pissed too. you should slip a laxative into one of the candies and give it to him...that might be illegal but whatever..:)

That damn expat said...

Keep it in your drawer if it bothers you!

Rose and Jill said...

One of the girls here actually put a Little Debbie out on her table that was over a year old and he asked if he could have it. She felt bad and told him that it was so old.

I would put it in the drawer but I'd never eat it all, that's why I have it out. I just don't want a single person to wipe out the entire jar in 1 day!

The Red Threads said...

You might want to put the jar in a drawer whenever you leave.

However, how this guy is acting is unbelievable. It shows a serious lack of respect. You made it very clear he wasn't allowed to have candy because he cleared you out before and then he just waits till your gone.

I know it's just candy, but it could become a serious problem.

Rose and Jill said...

It just frustrates me because it's so rude. If it's on someone's desk it is common courtesy to ask before you take and not to take everything. I've decided this is the last time I bring candy into this office. These assholes can buy their own!

Courtney said...

Aww, Rose! I'm sorry. I hate it when people do that! I used to work in an office and all the jerkfaces would eat the candy that we had sitting behind my desk, too, and we'd go and all that would be left are those stupid strawberry hard candies and peppermint things!

Try putting some Tums in there (the fruity ones look similar to candy). Or a bunch of sugarfree chocolate candy (my mom works in a pharmacy and said that people often say when you eat too much of it you get gassy/diarrhea symptoms)!


Hope this helps!


SexAndTwoSingleGirls said...

Hi Rose and Jill,
We left something special for you on our blog!! Enjoy!
Bee and E

Sex and Two Single Girls

Melissa said...

oh man, I would have been pissed too. Thats why I dont bring any candy to work except what I plan on eating that day, and i hide it then cuz ppl are always begging for it and some people have no problem with just taking stuff..its not right. Do you have like a file cabinet or or something you can put your candy in when your not there.

Jacqueline said...

Hey girls! I love your blog :)

I'd be pissed about the candy too.

KT said...

I would just dump out all remaining boxes of Nerds all over his work area.

But that's just me.


adlibby said...

I would get evil on his ass and put laxatives in your candy jar for awhile. But that's just me.

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