Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Story of the .

I'm going to the doctor on Thursday for a much needed check up. My doctor suspected back in October that she thinks I have endometriosis. The birth control that I am on normally helps with the issues of endometriosis; it's not helping with me.

Well, today I was doing some research on it and found out that people who start their period before age 12 have a higher risk. Then I started thinking about the hellacious day of my life back in the 6th grade when i was 11 years old (I was young for my grade) and started my period.

The morning started out like every other morning of 6th grade. I got up for school and went to the bathroom. I looked in my panties and low & behold, I had started my period. I didn't know what to do.

My immediate thought... "If Mom asks about it when she washes my clothes I'll just tell her I accidentally wore my panties backwords & pooped my pants." I'm. Not. Kidding. I'm not sure why I freaked and decided to tell her I shit my pants instead of telling her that I started... I guess I thought that the little bit in my panties was it..

My Mom took me to school. I just went on like normal, except I had toilet paper crammed down my pants. Finally in 4th hour (!) I leaned over to my best friend and said "N, I think I started my period." She was a late bloomer and was all "What? Are you sure? How do you know???" I explained the blood business and she said "Dude, you have to call your Mom."

I got my hallpass from my teacher and went to the front office (this was before the days of cell phones) and asked to use the phone. This is the conversation I had with my Mom:

Rose: Mom, I need you to come pick me up, I'm sick
Mom: What's wrong?
R: I'm sick
M: I'm in a meeting. Tell me whats going on.
R: I said I'm sick
M: If you don't tell me now, I'm hanging up. I said I was in a meeting.

Shit. I'm going to have to say the words. I turned my back to the ladies in the front office and cupped my hand around the phone and my mouth and whispered "I started my Period"

M: What?
R (still whispering): I started my period
M: Rose, I can't hear you. If you don't tell me what is going on then I'm hanging up

Fuck, I had no choice. I had to say it out loud. Where everybody in the front office could hear.

R: I said I. Started. My. Period. Come pick me up NOW!!
M: Well, why didn't you just say so? I'm on my way.

Mom picks me up from school. Her first question "Did you bleed through your pants?" I'm not kidding, I squatted down and looked at my crotch "Nope."

Then she took me to K-Mart to get some fresh panties & all the fun girly goods.

The worst part of the day? When my Dad saw me and said "I heard my little girl is a woman now."

Dear God, Why Me??
<3, Rose


Life at the White House said...

HILARIOUS.....and so embarrassing.

My mom passed away when I was little bitty, so my dad raised my brother and I. So, I was mortified to call my dad from school & tell him!!!!

He made my brother go with us to the store to get the "stuff" so my brother would learn that it was a normal thing and that he could NOT make fun of me. Gasp. Ughhh...so glad I'm not 12 anymore. That sucked.

Melissa said...

i started mine when I was 11 too. I wasnt embarrassed to tell my mom cuz she had already talked to me about it before it happened, but I was embarrased about it at school. some girl saw me go in the bathroom with a pad and told all the girls in my class about it. Everybody was acting like something was wrong with me cuz I started so early so I lied and said the girl was lying on me. Puberty sucked, lol.

Under the Influence said...

This is funny. Good luck at the doctor.

I always hated having to use the "back" bathroom (the one in my parents room) since that's where all the "goods" were. Whenver I used that bathroom, everyone knew I was on the rag. I only had brothers!

Gina said...

I laughed out loud the whole time I was reading this. I remember my mom bought me perfume (Baby Soft, perhaps?) to celebrate the fact that I was "a woman" and that embarrassed me even more. Thanks for the laugh.

Miss JC said...

I have endometriosis too. It sucks. Let me know what you find out! My period story was pretty wonderful too. I started bawling and was begging my sister to get off the phone with her boyfriend so I could ask her advice! lol

Cheryl said...

The first time I got mine, I thought I had Aids. We had just learned about it in school, and I guess I wasn't listening.

Rose and Jill said...

Uhm...I was a young 9 years old. Thanksgiving Day.
We went shopping on Black Friday and well, my mom found out in a dressing room. You could hear giggles coming from women in the other dressing rooms. It was mortifying.

Noelle said...

Haha, I totally laughed when I read your blog, especially the last sentence. I remember when I started my period I was on my way back home from Spain and I was horrified...

JayCee Leigh said...

I started mine the summer between 4th and 5th grades...while I was AT THE BABYSITTERS...wearing LIME GREEN OVERALL SHORTS...and the other kids thought I was dying.
"JayCee, you're BLEEEEDING!! Are you DYYYYYING?!?!"

Nope, but I WANTED to! :-)

D.A.B. said...

Y'all's blog is hilarious! I love funny/awkward moment stories like that! And thanks for the comment on the wine glass!

Miss JC said...

I just devoted today's blog posting to you! :)

Emily said...

I love your blog! So hilarious.

And you know what? Now that I think of it, I hate the word "moist" too. Suri Cruise, I already knew my hatred towards her.

AnneNguyen said...

LOL when i got my period i walked around for 2 hours thinking i was dieing.. =P

Courtney said...

lol, I had a friend over and she thought something was seriously wrong with me because I was crying and didn't want to come out of the bathroom. I think I was 12.

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