I Need a Personal Shopper

Why did I ever think it was a good idea to leave all my Christmas shopping until less than a week before the big day?

Saturday I get up at the crack of dawn to take my kitten, Gus, to the vet. The vet's office just happens to be in one of the biggest shopping centers in Big Town. Well, I get there (kitten in tow) and have to park a gazillion miles away from the f'n office. I mean, I was having to park in a parking lot across from the office, which might I add...I had to walk across a REALLY busy road. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't having to dodge crazed, present-buying soccer moms in their mini-vans. Good God. I have never feared for my life as much as I did Saturday morning.

Anyway, like I was saying I left all of my Christmas shopping for this week. Needless to say, I wasn't going to be doing any shopping Saturday after my near run in with death. I decided it would be a good day to do absolutely nothing...except attend my apartment complex's Christmas Party, which had massive amounts of homemade egg nog (with bourbon and rum in it) available for me get plowed on...for free.

I wake up Sunday afternoon with a massive headache and an urge to lay in bed for the rest of the day. But no, the kitten is clawing at my face reminding me of the day prior...I decide it would be genius of me to go shopping online. Whatever happened to places guaranteeing that something will be delivered before Christmas? Bath and Body Works was going to charge me $20 shipping to get the damn gift on Christmas Eve (now it is like $10, much more affordable). Screw that. I went out shopping.

I got my mom some smell good stuff at Bath and Body Works...she loves it...I hate it. Anyway, this is what I got her.

So, you might ask...What did you get for your dad, brother, grandparents, aunt, cousins, friends? Well, the answer is as of right now not jack shit. I only made it to 3 stores. I just got so sick of people. Has anyone ever heard of the personal space concept???

I went off on an American Eagle sales associate. All I wanted to do was buy a giftcard for my brother. Well, this skinny, high school aged kid walks up to me and asks if she can help with anything. I simply said "I'm just here for a giftcard. Thanks." She then continued to say, while standing unbelievably close to me "Why don't you buy something for yourself while you are here?" I turned to her, already being frustrated for standing in line for so long and said "Does it look like I can fit into any of American Eagle's clothes?" Now, I am a large girl...but not that big. I fit into American Eagle clothes, so I might have told a white lie. So what? She was standing WAY too close to me. I could feel her warm breath with every word she spoke. It skeeved me out. What was I supposed to do?

Anyway, I'm sure dad will be happy with a Lowe's giftcard, and brother will be happy with just about anything I get him (though he hasn't even opened the dartboard I got him last year). Maybe I'll get a notion to go shopping again tonight.

Doubt it.

If you have any gift ideas for brothers or dads...let me know!

I'll be one of those angry, on a mission shoppers Christmas Eve just hoping that the stores haven't sold all of the good gifts.

I told you I was a procrastinator.

<3,

IDK, Your (insert angry adjective here) Jill?