Thursday, August 6, 2009

analytics

It has been what feels like forever since I've written a blog post. My apologies. I'll start writing again, I swear.

I can't think of a good topic so I'm falling back on one I've wanted to do for months.

GOOGLE ANALYTICS

Here are some of my favorite searches (and of course, my running commentary!) that landed people on our blog since December 2008:

-fuck my life dot com
(why didn't this cheese ball just type it in the browser?)

-blowjobs
(awesome)

-put your party hat on. and by party hat i mean no panties
(I swear, I am going to send that text to a man one day)


-"we have located your pants"
(where have they been? I've been looking for them for AGES)


-accelerated reader test cheats
(stfu. I didn't know AR was still around!)

-barry manilow virus
(ugh. it's the equivalent of chlamydia to a laptop)


-blowjobs at the drive in
(that wasn't me!)

-vagina necklace
(okay, I understand stumbling across this online. However, actually searching for it? I hope they didn't buy it!)


-"a pelvic" doctor me
(you sure as fuck aren't giving me a pelvic exam if you're the pelvic doctor. And whats up with the incorrect use of quotations ??)


-"condiment as a verb"
(how in the hell did you end up on our blog??)


-"full bladder" "better orgasms"
(I'll take my chances on not having a better orgasm in order not to piss all over someone)

-"i just saw a midget buying"
(what? what did you see it buy? porn? an el camino? a mullet wig???)


-jill fart
(and it was rank)

-"life's a bitch" charm
(as in for a bracelet? that could work if Jill and I can't afford our "Best Fucking Friends" charm necklace!)

-"pooped my pants" panties
(do your panties say "pooped my pants" or did you do it?)

-"she had to pee so bad"
(story of my life)

-25 inappropriate things about me
(future blog post from Rose)

-1girl and 1cup
-3 cups 1girl
-to grils one cup
(okay. it's 2 girls, 1 cup.)

-apartment "peeing off the balcony"
(does this happen a lot? and you too have issues with quotes)

-asking when am i getting pregnant just because im newly married is pathetic
(how did you end up here? we're not married nor pregnant. interesting)

-blog posts about sonic drive in
(i'm assuming this was a Sonic employee. If so, email me at delightfullyinappropriate at yahoo dot com and i'll give you my address for the free coupons I should get for watching someone piss in your drive thru)

-boners caught in public
(i'm guessing a gay man searched this)

-did it really happen drunk
(probably)

-gave him boner
(done)

-girls fuck blogger
(we are girls. we fuck. we have a blog. we don't fuck blogger)

-i'd hit that 911
(I'm taking 911 as NOW. So, ditto)

-inappropriate ladies
(absofuckinglutely)

-jill got him cheating boyfriend ky 2009
(Jill, do we need to share something?)

-mature vulva
(mah. not here)

-puking sorority blowjob
(i've had some rough nights in the past but nothing to that extreme)

-when are kittens most plentiful
(spring. haha. i don't think there is ever a more plentiful time!)

-wifi "chest monitor"
(i don't even know what you mean. however, I applaud your use of quotes since nothing makes sense)

-young hotties no kids not married
(yep)

3 comments:

Andhari said...

Lol why are these people so obsessed about blowjobs and bladders? You two are simply astounding for these google search ;p

Karen said...

Man, I'm going to have to change up what I'm posting. My google keywords are nowhere near as interesting!

Susan said...

These are hysterical! I want to hear about puking blow jobs though I think I could probably write that "story." Notice my inappropriate use of quotation marks? You're welcome.

 
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