Thursday, April 16, 2009

Well, it's time again...

Time for a TMI post. But it's worth it (I think.) Informative and funny. Can't get much better...

So since my hormones have gone all buck nasty crazy with switching birth controls my armpits decided to follow. Yes, ladies and gents, you read it right, Rose here has some sweaty pits. Well, until last weekend.

I had tried seriously everything: Secret, Secret Clinical, some Secret with lotion, Mitchum, Dove, the list goes on. I seriously have about ten deodorants right now that I'll probably never use.

Nothing was cutting it. I was in my second week of wearing jackets that covered up cute shits because of pit stains when I started to get pissed. I was about 2 minutes away from calling the Dr. to get some prescription B.O. Control (Ok, they don't stink, just extra wet but I liked the way B.O. & control rhyme).

Then I got on Walgreens website and did a little searching and the Clouds of Heaven opened up and showed me Certain-Dri. 72 hours of coverage? Seriously, 72 hours without putting it on again? I was sold.

I marched my happy ass to the CVS in town (We don't have a Walgreens in SmallTown). I bought the CVS equivalent, Ultra Dry, since I've spent about $50 on deodorant the past couple weeks. Then I got the Certain-Dri Morning refresher business because why the hell not? I've already dropped what seemed like enough cash for a new iPod.

I got home and read the instructions: Don't use after shaving or bathing. Luck still on my side, I had bathed that morning. I took my shirt off and applied "sparingly."

or so I thought...

After a few minutes my arm pits started to tingle. Moments later my arm pits were starting to get hot. Then it felt like they were on fire. I had put so much on it literally scorched my skin. I had to sleep with my arms out to the side because I couldn't stand fabric on them.

By the next morning I had a chemical burn. Fucking awesome. At least there was no sweat. By that night I still didn't have any sweat. Or the next day. Or the next! Even though I had showered (it doesn't come off!) and shaved! I've used it for a week now and let me just say, it really does work for 3 days.

The moral of the story is : Sparingly = One swipe.

FirePits,
Rose

12 comments:

Miss JC said...

Yikes! Sounds like scary stuff...but it works? COOL! lol You girls need to come over and sign up for my giveaway..it's over tomorrow!

insomniaclolita said...

OUCH that hurts. Does ice help at all or it makes it worse?

Serena said...

Wow - just goes to show that once your layer of skin has been burnt off there's no need for the deodarant lol x

Nic said...

OUCH! It hurts to even imagine it!!

jen - tsk said...

Lets hope it was worth it and you never sweat again (well, I kind of don't hope that because I think not sweating is bad for you...but you get my point!) x

Adlibby said...

Wow. Ouch. Cool. (snicker, snicker)

Under the Influence said...

Yowza! Maybe you burned your sweat glands to the point of not working any more.

ZomBee said...

Jackets that cover up cute shits?
Maybe it's your wardrobe?
How is that done, anyway?
Do you use it like modeling clay or just at googley eyes?

Constructive Attitude said...

hahaha. YAY! at least you found something that worked.

Gina said...

Maybe you'll get used to it. And hopefully it costs less than the Secret Clinical Strength. I love that stuff, and it's worth it, but damn is it expensive.

Lil' Woman said...

Damn, that's some serious shit right there!! :)

Gwen B. (aka skinny bitch) said...

oooooO......hahahaha. I have had the chemical burns myself, but not from DEODORANT! damn. Well you just cant win, I guess it's either sweaty pits or fire pits. Water vs fire. Which would you choose? haha I'm so lame

 
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