Thursday, April 23, 2009

Bitches, I'm Back!

I'm not going to go into the long boring stories about how I haven't written and how I suck at life...sorry. I'm just going to jump right into it.

I honestly can't think of a completely horrible date that I've gone on. So, I'm going to tell you about the most random, awkward sexual encounter I have had.

I don't really remember how I met this guy, however I do know that it was online...possibly myspace, classy I know. Anyway, I started talking to this guy because he was from the same city as me, he didn't look too horrible and he was fun to talk to. Eventually it got to the point where he wanted to meet me. Let me just say, I did not have any intentions on meeting him to begin with.

Rose and I were in the middle of finals, so we were both trying to cram in a semesters worth of material in one week. We would go to a larger college's library to study during finals, so we wouldn't get distracted by all the people we knew. One night I had been talking to the guy online when he said that he was at the library we were getting ready to go to. I told him I'd be there in a little bit and if he wanted to wait, he would be able to meet me.

Rose and I ended up meeting this guy at a local pita restaurant. Internet boy decided he needed to go back to the library, where Rose and I were headed anyway. We all walked into the library with our laptops and books and found a table where we could all sit, it was somewhere in the basement. Thanks to wi-fi, we were all able to talk separately without the other knowing what we were saying. Internet boy and I were talking about how we wanted to jump each others bones, Rose and Internet boy were talking about how me and him needed to get a room and I was talking to Rose about how they were talking about me. It was a mess. Every once and a while we would all erupt in laughter

After a few awkward glances upward, Internet boy finally caught my glance. He sent me a message asking me to follow him to the bathroom. I let Rose know what was going on, so she would know where I was and wouldn't worry.

Internet boy got up and a few minutes later, I followed. Rose decided it was too awkward and went outside to smoke a cigarette and call a friend.

Once Internet boy and I got into the bathroom, it was on. We were making out, touching each other in rather inappropriate places and just having a great time. Yes, the random knocks at the door were a downer but overall it was great...until he unzipped his pants.

He was uncircumcised. OK, now don't get me wrong...I know some people like this. I am not one of them. It grossed me out, especially since I had never seen one before.

All I could think to myself was how this guy wanted a blow job. I was completely caught off-guard by all the skin.
This blow job seriously lasted all of 2 minutes. I could not resist the gagging feeling I was getting. Yuck. I was done.

I walked back out to our stuff, told Rose about what was going on and we peaced the fuck out. Internet boy still tries to talk to me now, whenever he does I just laugh...he's apparently in law school and is dating some girl who looks like Anna Nicole Smith.

Good Riddance Internet boy.

-Jill

10 comments:

Nic said...

Most British blokes are uncircumsized. It's not really the done thing over here.

Lil' Woman said...

I was scared and quite disgusted the first time I saw one too!

Gina said...

I've never seen one...and now I am pretty sure I don't want to! LOL!

The Dumbest Smart Girl You Know said...

Really, Jill? Have you gotten up close and personal with one since? My first wasn't circumcised, maybe that's why I don't think it's a big deal...

Under the Influence said...

My boys aren't circumsized - if that means they aren't getting blow jobs in the library bathroom, I know I made the right decision! :)

Lil' Woman said...

I tagged you both over @ my page :)

Jen - tsk said...

I don't think I've ever been with a circumsized guy, I guess it's possible and I just never noticed hehe x

Serena said...

That was a disgusting story towards the end and yet I couldn't stop reading - damn you lol x

Gwen B. (aka skinny bitch) said...

EW! He had an elephant trunk!? Well it would be one story to fuck him with that, but a blow job!? ah uh. no way. Get that shit out of here! Good job.

mrsjc said...

LMAO @ Jill and Gwen B!!

Uncircumsized penis' remind me of an ant eater. EWWWW!

 
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