Thursday, April 23, 2009

blowjobs and bathrooms

Under the Influence suggested a post on first/most memorable one night stand. Good topic. I have a couple memorable ones, but one takes the cake.

My first one night stand is also my most memorable. I think I've said it before, but I let Sam cash in on the V-Card so I was "everything but" girl in college (minus a few VERY close encounters with the Douche).

The very first night of college I met some upperclassmen girls (they lived in the room beside me and were actually in the sorority I later joined.) and they invited me to go out with them the first Saturday I was there. First of all, this is a huge no no. You are not allowed to go out with freshman during their orientation week. You are definitely not allowed to take them to a frat house. Being the rule breaker that I was, I went.

We got to the fraternity house and went and hung out in this guy named Brian's room. He was giving drinks away freely, another thing against the rules, no alcohol on campus. Of course, being a BAMF (that is Bad Ass Mother Fucker for those who do not know), I grabbed greedily. It wasn't a big deal for me to drink, I've been drinking since 6th grade, it was however a big deal because I couldn't buy the contraband. (He was 21 and I was a lowly 17, soon to be 18 year old). It was lemonade and vodka; I drank so much of that when I was in college it makes me sick to think about.

Fast forward a couple weeks. Brian and I had this major flirtation thing going on. Brian also had a girlfriend, Anna, who was in said sorority I later joined. Are you all sensing a pattern here? I'm a homewrecker, I guess. (Homewrecking tally that I've written about so far: Douche, Sam and now Brian). I guess I just have no morals. Ok, that is so not true, I was just young and dumb.

Eh, on to the story.

One night after massive amounts of binge drinking I decided I needed some WaHo (that would be Waffle House) in my life. Brian took me and another girl. We got back to campus and he dropped the other girl off at our dorm. He asked me if I wanted to go on a walk with him around campus. Sure, why the hell not? It's 3 in the morning and I'm drunk, maybe I should walk around and see if I can get a PI. We ended up walking by the student center on campus.

Brian worked at campus safety in the student center and paged the person on call. I'm not sure what excuse he used on the rent-a-cop, but he let us in the locked building. Next thing I know, we're downstairs and he is leading me into the men's bathroom where we proceeded to hook up. Classy, no? I assume we went into the bathroom because his girlfriend often slept in his dorm room.

After he had his glory we went back to the dorm. His girlfriend was asleep in his bed so I peaced out. If you're gonna be a homewrecker, you gotta keep that shit a secret.

It was a night of firsts: first one night stand (if you will), first time I had ever given a blowjob and the first (and only time) I've ever hooked up in a public bathroom. Although it was my first, he later told me "That was the best head EVER," which is a comment I've heard a couple times.

Just for the record, I know it's pretty filthy... being a mistress hooking up in a very public bathroom in a student center, and the men's room at that!

I guess Anna had an idea what was going on because she badmouthed me to the sorority and I didn't get a bid my freshman year. I'm guessing it was because I was a slut. Here is laughing at her though, as soon as she graduated I got that bid. HAHA.

Dirty Bathroom Whore,
Rose

8 comments:

jen - tsk said...

So funny! I guess I am a BAMF as well...a name I shall be proud of! xx

Under the Influence said...

Damn, I'm glad I asked. That was a good one!

Nic said...

That's a brilliant story. My blog post today was also about a one night stand!

Lil' Woman said...

Don't worry I was a homewrecker too..me and the guy that I lost my v-card to used to hook up after we broke up when he got another g/f...I used to tell him to ask the bitch how I tasted after he would go down on me and then directly go to her house.

classy: no!
Funny hell yeah! :)

Gina said...

Oh now that brought back some memories of the good ol' college days and the walks of shame....

Easily Manipulated said...

Ha ha! That's hilarious! Gotta love Bathroom BJs...Not that I ever did such things.........I'm just sayin. ;-)

Serena said...

Hilarious - great stuff! Well suggested post x

Gwen B. (aka skinny bitch) said...

HA! you are soooo a home wrecker. I love how you keep it on the down-low. I love all your acronyms too! WaHo. I so would have thought that meant sex if you didn't explain, and BAMF! Awesome!

Heres to home wrecker, bathroom sex and blow jobs!

 
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