Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I blame facebook.

The summer I graduated college (2007), I stopped at a local gas station to buy cigarettes. The cashier was a girl I went to high school with named Amy.

Me: Hi, how are you? I need a carton of marlboro menthol lights, please.
Amy: Here ya go. So, how many kids do you have?
Me: Um none, I just graduated from Private College two weeks ago.
Amy: Well, I have 2 at home and 1 in the oven.
Me: *thinking* Well, good for you. You're doing so well for yourself...working at the Marathon and three kids. Glad I don't have any...What 21 year old would want to have any kids? Let alone three???"

Fast forward two years.

I don't know if it is because I'm single with no real relationship anywhere on the horizon, the fact that I might have endometriosis and have a harder time getting pregnant or what, but I feel like every time I get on facebook someone I know is now engaged, getting married this weekend or pregnant.

I feel like I'm behind. Don't get my wrong, I'm loving the single life (to an extent and that extent involves sleeping with new men and doing whatever the hell I want), but this summer I feel like a big part of me suddenly turned on and is yearning to settle down, get married, get pregnant and begin nesting. I'm ready for the next stage of my life.

My younger, married sister is going to start trying for a baby soon. I feel like I should be the one trying because I'm oldest. I've always said I'm not sure if I want children. As of late, I do. I really do. At this point I would settle for an adult relationship with a man. (And by adult, I mean someone I love, who can support me, has a steady job and where the relationship actually has a future, so pretty much the entire opposite of my relationship with Sam). Just something to postpone this newly acquired baby fever.

I blame facebook for jump starting my biological clock. I know that I'm still young and have plenty of time, but I feel like my clock just started ticking and it's all I can hear. Tick. Marriage. Tock. Babies.

Am I the only one who feels this way???

Single and baby-less,


Janet said...

No, you're not the only one. I feel it too. I was walking over lunch, and actually had this very thought in my head, that I'm BEHIND. Then I decided that maybe it's not a race. And I don't want to have a husband and a family at the right TIME, but that I want to have the right HUSBAND.

Serena said...

God no! I feel exactly the same. When I joined Facebook, everyone I 'knew' from high school added me (even though we never spoke in school) and the amount of them that were engaged AND pregnant, let alone one or the other, was ridiculously pathetic.
I've always wanted children and can't wait to have them but I want to live my life first but, like you, it hurt me and made me feel angry/jealous that everyone appeared to be pregnant.
I guess you've just got to figure that whilst they popped them out quicker than skittles you'll be having fun, living life and doing your own thing. Don't rush because you feel rushed, you'll be miserable otherwise xx

MrsSki said...

I have ridiculous baby fever. I have to go visit my friend with a 14 month old to make it subside...and chasing him around for an hour or two usually gives me my fix.

Emily said...

I feel similar. I don't want a baby right now. I have no desire, nor do I care to even think about it. Maybe later. That's great if other people have them. But I cannot stand it on Facebook when it appears as though 100% of a "friend's" life is devoted to the kid. As in, every picture, every status update, etc is about their kid. We get it, you got knocked up, congrats. What else do you have to offer? Anything?

What's worse is when people look/speak to you as if you are a freak because you aren't ridiculously ga-ga over babies. Like I'm a loser because I'm 30 without 5 kids.

Screw off, I say. I went to grad school and I have a career, I can stay out past 8pm and go out with my husband without paying someone to help. My money can be put towards shoes, purses, or I can throw it out the window if I so choose. You clean poop and vomit for a living while relying on your husband for money, all of which goes towards mom-pants and spit up bibs.

Children of the Nineties said...

I think facebook makes everyone's personal lives so available to everyone else. Also, people tend to use it as a means of communicating good news, so I see tons of weddings and babies on it everyday.

You're definitely not behind. It's not really the kind of thing to rush into, and I see some of my friends getting engaged just because all of their friends are...definitely not a good enough reason.

Littlet T said...

I don't know you personally but I love reading your blog. I am 30 and most of my friends are married and have kids now. I have found that a good majority of those married, pregnant or so-called-happy people are miserable. I think Janet is right, it is not about finding someone and getting on the fast track to mommyville. It is about finding the right person and building from there. And let's face it, babies are cute but babysit a toddler for a day and your clock will STOP for at least 5 years.

Lil' Woman said...

I always feel that way too...most of the people I went to high school with are on their second baby now...WTF?!?

I always think I want one (a baby) but then I think of how restrained all be when say i want to go on vacation or do something at the spur of the moment. there's a lot of time and alot of money that go into those little suckers...

as far as marriage ..i'm game cause me and big man been together for 3 years, so best be puttin a ring on it! :)

Under the Influence said...

From one of your 40 something readers who got married at 26, which seems young to me, and my hubs was 31. I had my first child when I was almost 30 and the last at 36, I can tell you, my "friends" who got married right out of HS and/or didn't finish college, nor did their husbands, have most likely experienced D-I-V-O-R-C-E. I'm going on 15 years of marriage. What's the point of this little lecture? Don't get let your biological clock kick in just because everyone else seems to be doing it!

Gina said...

ENJOY YOUR SINGLEDOM. Seriously. If you don't believe me, read my post from today and you'll understand why you should be enjoying your child-less life completely. For a few more years at least....

Anonymous said...

I'm 27, been with the same man for 7 years. Not married, no kids, not even on the horizon.

Living my life the way I want to and doing it in Sweden. I'm Canadian. I'll settle down soon but until then I want to have some fun.

Your still REALLY young. Travel, live, have meaningless sex with international hotties.

Shannon said...

No way you aren't alone. I feel like I am on a completely different path from everyone else I went to school with. But you know what? I'm happy with that. :)

Veronica Vaughn said...

Seems like all my girlfriends from high school are married too. EXCEPT for me.

So just know you are in good company!

I would love more than anything to get married to BF now, but we would never be able to afford it. And if we cant afford a wedding, how the hell can we afford a baby?

So my clock keeps ticking...

Im sure you can hear it.

Andhari said...

MY GOD I HATE FACEBOOK and how it's capable on making me feel miserable too. But for me it';s usually when my girls date really hot boyfriends and I get envious. Or when they land perfect jobs.

Nope, I'm not thinking of marriage and kids yet. Maybe that side of life hasn't flashed its lights on me.

Life at the White House said...

You are not alone. Every time I log into facebook and see pictures of my preggo friends or pictures of them on vacation w/ their hubby and TWO kids (what, we are only 26) I get baby fever and feel like we're behind.

Truth is, we're not really ready for a baby just yet. I thought we would be by now, but that's not the case and that's okay. Nonetheless, it stresses me out when I realize that some girls my age have a 2 and 4 year old already. Weird.

No rush on any of it. I know a ton of people who aren't getting married until they are 30 and then starting a family. We're thinking 28 and 30 for babies, but again, that's just our thinking. We'll be 'ready' whenever the time comes I'm sure!

Damn facebook.

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