Thursday, May 28, 2009

The point of the matter is...

that I have a fuck buddy.

Yes, I will talk about the sex (but that's later down the post)... And this is considered our FUF post of the week because I sure celebrated FUF the first night we hooked up!

I was reading something today (and I think it was in Cosmo. or maybe online, whatever). The article was something like "Is He The One?"

Side Note: I've been reading Cosmo since middle school. I swear the reuse the same articles every couple of years. The sex tricks are the same, I know my G-Spot is my "hidden pleasure spot" and the cosmetic tricks are all of the same. However, I just keep reading it. I don't know why, but I'll buy it even though I know EVERYTHING that will be in it!! Does anyone else feel this way??

The article was set up in an A and B format. You chose whichever you felt fit the relationship the best. The only one that I remember was something like:

What do you talk about when together:
A) Last weekend, what you're doing later, etc.
B) Your childhood, your family

Well, I did the quiz in my head (do people actually get a pen to mark them?) and obviously John (also known as my prom date sophomore year of high school) falls into the fling category.

Now, I didn't really need a quiz to tell me this. John and I've had quite a whirlwind relationship(s). We've been best friends, we've been enemies, we've made out, we've said the most horrible hateful things and now we've had sex.

We've gone through the same type of "quasi-relationship" several times. Every couple of years one of us will text or call the other and we'll start talking. Which leads to hanging out. Which leads to making out and now leads to sex. Then after so long (sometimes a week, sometimes a couple months), we fizzle.

Jill has seen the fizzle. It's like something inside of me (and it always has been me), is just done. I can remember the last fizzle. Junior year of college. John, Jill & I were hanging out in her room after a night of crazy antics. Jill and I were in a deep conversation about the Italian Renaissance (I'm not kidding, it was something along those lines) and John was just sitting there. He tried to say something and I looked at him and said, "What, do you not understand what we're talking about? Do we need to talk slower?" Yeah, I know it was horrible. John got up and left. I talked to him one last time to get Jill's purse out of his car.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love John to death. I care for him deeply. It's just a purely physical relationship. Since we've become adults, John and I don't really have anything to talk about or have anything in common. Sure, we hang out and have fun but we talk about mindless things like movies or music. We don't share our fears and dreams.

And to be quite honest, this time we really don't even talk. We just keep it cordial with: "How is your day" "anything new with you?" and "what time do you want me to come over?" We go through the same motions almost every time. I go to his apartment. We hang out and watch tv. We start making out. We go fuck. I might sleep, I might not. I leave.

So, based on the past, I have a pretty strong feeling that there will be no "us" and I am okay with that. He's not really relationship material anyway. Plus, I have my first real fuck buddy!

Now, on to the part that makes this blog so "delightfully inappropriate!" The. Sex.

  • The sex with John is decent enough. I wouldn't call it mind-blowing or anything. Now, I know that I don't have much to compare him to, but sex with Sam was definitely much better.
  • However, John is HUGE so that makes up for whatever it's missing. I'm not kidding when I say huge. It makes me cringe a bit knowing it's coming and it's that stinging sensation of losing your virginity for the first couple minutes. Then we're good to go. (Girls, how do we make this stop? It's not an issue on my part if you know what I mean).
  • He does this thing that I love where during missionary he holds my hands above my head where I can't move them. I don't know if it's the fact that he has all the control or what but Good. God. Amazing.
  • He can last FOREVER. I'm sure I'm not the only one who reaches a point where I'm all "Come on, get off. For real." because I'm just done. Well, he finally does get off... what feels like an hour later.
  • AH, once we're done he goes and gets me a glass of water. Then he rubs my back. And plays with my hair. I'm a sucker for that.
  • I'm looking for new sex positions to anything you want to share with me is good. (where are you when I need you Christina & Courtney?!)
So yeah, probably more than you would ever want to know about the relationship of John & Rose part XIVV. I would write more but I'm kind of tapped out on anything else. SOOOO if there is anything else you want to know, ask. I'm a kiss & tell kind of girl.

A kisser & teller,


Gina said...

Exes are the best fuck buddies need to add another notch to the bedpost! And I married a HUGE guy and so far, I haven't figured out a trick, to answer your question. It's been over 3 years, so yeah, I don't know what to tell you. Enjoy it!

GWEN B. (aka SKINNY BITCH) said...

about the Cosmo thing. Yes, yes, yes and yes. I have subscribed every year for the past 3 years and always the same. I don't know why I do it either.

As far as sex positions got here are a few of my faves. The bridge, Bodyguard (works great in the shower!) Dancer, Jellyfish, the "Stand and Carry" and much more!

I call them by their names on this awesome website I found.

check it out!

Andhari said...

The part not being able to move is nice, I have a fuck buddy I really wanna fuck right now but cant since now my conscience really bugs me from doing so :(

Shannon said...

Oh, Cosmo how I heart you.

Margarita said...

Yes, Cosmo does that. The moment I stopped reading Cosmo is when I realised that even those "embarassing stories" are repeats. Ah well.

Serena said...

Lol - I too have a fuck buddy and I could take it or leave it really, but it's nice to know he'll be there when I need him for it - is that bad?! ;-)

Lil' Woman said...

I feel the exact same way about Cosmo but I still bought one today..
I have the same thing with Big Man during the first few minutes of sex where my coochie gotta get adjusted to his size.

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