Best Conversation EVER.

My sister told me about a conversation she overheard by my parents. When she told me I started laughing so hard I almost pissed my pants. In fact, I am still cracking up over it.

Background:
My Dad is very conservative, quiet and reserved. My Mom, not so much. She is more like me: loud, always has to say SOMETHING and most of the time its inappropriate. My parents are polar opposites and I think that is why they get along so well.

On to the conversation:
Mom (who was being dead serious): I need to get a new dress, D.
Dad: Well, why? Are we going somewhere? Do you really need a new one?
Mom (still holding strong and being serious): Yeah, I need it for MJ's funeral.
Dad: *mutters* Jesus Christ.

I so wish I could have heard it. Now, my Mom wouldn't really get a dress for the funeral of MJ, she just likes to get my dad all riled up. This totally tops the list of things she does to aggravate my father!

I know Jill is cracking up reading this just thinking about my Mom saying that to my good old conservative pops!

RIP MJ,
Rose

potluck!

I've had a crazy, crazy past week. I'm stealing Re-Re's idea and doing a "Potluck" of all the crap that has been going on. Prepare yourself.

1. I might be a little vague in this one, but it's for my families sake: My brother came to us two weeks ago and told us he was unhappy in his marriage and is divorcing his wife. He visited his lawyer and started the process. This Sunday she found something he had searched on the internet (had nothing to do with divorce), and confronted him for more information. He told her it was no big deal and was just something he saw on the news and wanted to know more about it. She told him if he didn't tell her exactly why he was looking it up, she wanted to separate. He told her that was fine that he had already been to see a lawyer and she would be served this week. He came to stay the night at our house. During the night, she packed everything in the house and moved 10-12 hours away to where her family is from. She took my niece and nephew with her. Because she hadn't been served yet, she was allowed to leave the state. I think it's safe to say that my life has been turned upside down with the "what-ifs." (what if my brother doesn't get custody, what if I never see them again, on and on).

2. My work BFF, L, got laid off last Thursday and it was a huge surprise. Especially since I normally know who is next.

3. We went out Friday night for the people who got laid off at work. My boss paid for the first $150 of booze. I got slightly drunk. I may have made some bad decisions including, but not limited to:

I know this is the one you all care about:

4. I slept with my prom date from high school. twice. He found me on facebook and we started chatting and text messaging. I went over to his apartment late Friday night and stayed the night. He was HUGE and I was super sore the next day. So sore that I was a little relieved when the time came Saturday night for a third round that he didn't have anymore condoms. Obviously, this is strange territory for me because I have never slept with someone besides Sam. It was good, just different.

5. Sam has been somewhat stalking me. When I told him that the prom date added me on facebook he flipped the fuck out. Like leaving letters and pictures on my car. I told him that obviously this friends thing wasn't going to work out and we couldn't talk. BUT he continued to call and text message. Not only me, but Jill and L. He was calling L's work phone and I'm sure if he had Jill's number he would have called her too. He keeps claiming that he's changed, things are different, he misses me, all that other shit. I've started ignoring him and he hasn't called or messaged me in 2 days. Obviously I'm over him (see #4 on list) but it is very aggravating. Not only is he harassing me, but now my friends. I'm about thisclose to changing my cell number which will really piss me off because I've had this number since I was 16.

Hmmm I think that is just about it. I miss you all. I'll write again soon, I promise :)

-Rose

it just doesn't get any better...

If you like textsfromlastnight.com and fmylife.com, you'll love:

Awkward Family Photos.

I can't get enough of it. I wish there were more, but alas, less than 10 pages so far. The commentary is ridiculously lame as are some of the pictures and the things like "awkward word," but if you can bypass all of that you get some quality Awkward Family Photos!

I would post some of my favorites, but I just can't choose. It's a trainwreck of wonderful.

Go on, click the link. You know you want too!

Love,
Rose

finally at rest.

My Papa passed away this morning very peacefully. I took off work yesterday because I knew the end was near, and I have never been so thankful in my life. Around 3 this morning he was experiencing some apnea and eventually quit breathing around 5. It was just like he was asleep. My Mom & sister said they have seen several people die and have never seen someone go so easily which brings a lot of peace to me & my family/

The night before last around 1 in the morning, we had a "family reunion" as he called it around his bed. He was very lucid so we took advantage of the situation. It was the most precious time I've ever spent with a person. He told us he loved us, was proud of us, everything that he hadn't really said that often (Papa was a very, very private man and much like my father, doesn't display his emotions). He looked at my sister and said "I love you" then looked at Dad and said "But I love him the most." It was something my father has waited a long time to hear.

Around 2, I was sitting by his bed and I asked him how he was "I've been a bad boy" he said. I asked him why and he said "I was at the barn with my brothers but I left because I didn't do it!" He had a sparkle in his eye and looked and acted just like a child. I guess he was remembering a time when he and his 3 brothers had been in trouble growing up. I couldn't help but smile.

We knew our time speaking to him was up so my Dad asked him if he wanted to lay down. Papa said "No, I just want to enjoy my last day here." He drifted off to sleep soon after and didn't wake up again. He opened his eyes a couple times yesterday and nodded his head, but he slept almost the entire day.

Obviously, we're all having a difficult time with this... especially Dad. However, we all know that he is in a much better place, had an amazing life, loved his family more than he could ever tell us and went very peacefully. That is all we could ever ask for.

Here are some of my favorite interesting tid-bits of information on my grandfather.

--Papa was a real life cowboy. He lived in Oklahoma until he went to college. He said the hardest thing he ever had to learn how to do was to sleep in a saddle.
--He was fluent in an Indian language (Choctaw, I think) and spoke it to us all of the time growing up. We never knew what the hell he was saying. He was also fluent German and I'm pretty sure Latin. He knew bits and pieces of other languages as well
--He received his Ph.D. in Organic Chemistry in 1939, four years after graduating college. Yes, he skipped his master's!
--Papa had his first article published in a prestigious chemical magazine in 1938. Yep, before he was even a Dr.!!!!
--He worked at Kodak. While there he had at least 8 published articles (that I could find). He was granted 14 patents by the US & Canada in his first 6 years. Dad said he has upwards of 50 patents. Seriously, my grandfather was an inventor!
--He is one of the men (I believe there were 4 total) who perfected color film as we know it. We can all think Pops for no longer only having black & white photographs!
--He worked on the Manhattan Project. He mixed some of the chemicals such as the Uranium.

The funeral is Monday. Instead of mourning his death, I've decided to celebrate his life. Please pray for my family during these times. I know we'll be alright, we are at peace with his death.

Love,
Rose

bad things really do come in threes

You know when you get so tired you can't sleep? I'm going through that right now. I haven't slept since Wednesday night. I apologize in advance if this doesn't make much sense but I just need to vent and get this off my chest because right now I feel like my life is falling apart at the seams. Mostly I'm asking you all for prayers, karma, vibes, whatever you do, for me & my family. The rest of this post is about what is going on and is extremely long.

Sister (who is a nurse) quit her job at a nursing home to stay home with my 96 year old (97 this month!) grandfather, Papa. Obviously, since he's 96 he has some issues. He was starting to fall, wasn't really eating well (or at all for that matter), he is losing his vision, etc. My Dad goes over to his house everyday for cocktail hour and has since my GaGa died when I was 2.

Papa had to live with us for about a year when I was in 6th grade because he had Dursban poisoning (which is a spray for termites, I believe. The person applied it wrong and he couldn't figure out why he was sick until too late). He had less than a 5% chance of survival then and he pulled through. The only thing that changed was his voice and he sounds fuzzy now; I have a hard time understanding a lot of what he says. He got sick a couple months ago and again, pulled through. He is very independent (minus driving because he is losing his sight) and he wanted to live on his own. My Dad noticed he was becoming malnourished so he started making breakfast for him every morning and my mom cooks his dinner. They also started him on an appetite stimulant. He started getting worse off which is why Sis is now staying with him. Sister and I went grocery shopping for him on Saturday and seriously bought every single fattening food we could find. Papa is close to 6 feet tall and is 117 pounds with clothes (I told him he makes models jealous!). His legs are the size of my wrist, he looks what I imagine a holocaust victim would look like.

So Sis and I were talking Tuesday night and she mentioned that she didn't see Papa pee at all on Monday or Tuesday and she was there for over 8 hours each day. We just figured maybe it was because he is dehydrated and malnourished. She called me around noon on Wednesday to tell me that Papa was getting sick and laying down. We chit-chatted for a bit then I went back to work. I got a text message around 4 "Taking Papa to the hospital by ambulance, too sick to go by car." I called her to see what the hell was going on. Apparently, in the span of a couple hours he became extremely ill and my sister felt she couldn't care for him. I asked her if I should come to the hospital and she told me that Dad had canceled his patients for the rest of the day; which meant yes.

I got to the hospital and they had him hooked up to an IV and a chest monitor. He has pneumonia and congestive heart failure. They admitted him to the hospital and several hours later my parents told me and Sis to go on home, everything would be fine. Sis and I went out to dinner and on our way home Sis got a call from Mom saying we needed to come back to the hospital. I got out of the car and Sis told me to get dressed, we needed to go back because he had taken a turn for the worse and may not make it through the night.

Now I don't know what you believe so this may sound strange: I believe in spirits. I always have, especially since living in my house (remember, its 200 years old and has had my entire family live and die in it). I believe it is someone who hasn't gone to heaven yet, waiting in a limbo of sorts for loved ones or whatever it is that is holding them. Someone once told me that to move a spirit from one place to another, they have to go with someone who is alive. When I went upstairs to change out of my work clothes, I started talking, mostly it was to my grandmother. I told her that I thought Papa was going to die and if she wanted to go to the hospital then I was leaving in a couple minutes and that Papa hadn't seen her in over 20 years so I'm sure she is the first person he would want to see.

So I got to the hospital and Papa really had taken a turn for the worse. He was laying lifeless. As soon as I walked into the room I started to cry. Everyone told me to talk to him but I didn't know what to say. I've never said a goodbye to someone dying. My other grandfather and step-grandfather died suddenly. I finally choked out "I love you" and he looked at me and said "I love you too." I didn't know what to do so I just left the room. My Dad was changing him to a DNR because there was no way he would survive CPR or paddles. I waited while Dad did that and we went outside to sit in the car so I could smoke and calm down. I went in and talked to him a couple more times, but mostly just stayed in the car with Mom. Around 2 in the morning, Mom told me to go home. I tried to sleep but couldn't

He lived through the night. I stayed with him some on Thursday, I couldn't go to work. He ate a bit, talked a bit, I bathed him and it seemed like he was getting better. So much that no one stayed the night with him last night. Turns out that was a mistake because he tried to get out of the bed and fell. Now he has a couple skin tears to add to the bed sore we noticed developing yesterday. Today I went to work for a little bit to get some things done but I felt that I was needed elsewhere.

I stayed with him for about 6 hours today while the rest of my family was running their errands and sleeping. He kept trying to get out of bed. I guess he thought we were at home because he kept wanting to go to the kitchen and the den. Apparently when he fell the other night it was because he wanted to go into the living room because he heard us talking. One point he looked at me and said "I don't understand why no one else is here and they are all in the other room. I think they forgot about me. Let's go find them." I couldn't help it but I started to cry. I explained to him for what felt like the millionth time that we were in the hospital. He just said "I know where we are." Then he told me to "Shut the hell up" which is soooo not my Papa. Since he kept trying to get out of the bed we had the nurses give him something that would make him sleep or at least stop trying to get up. He had one around noon today.

By about 3:30 I couldn't keep him in the bed. He's so weak and I can't support him. I called the nurse and asked for more meds and she told me "No, not until 8 tonight. He is very old and we can't risk giving him too much." I looked at her and said "I understand you have to tell me that but you need to call Dr. B immediately and tell him that I want him to be able to take it every FOUR hours or PRN." She just kind of looked at me because I was a bitch, but seriously, I have a 96 year old who is malnourished and fighting me "to go to the kitchen." Needless to say, we got it.

Dad came in around 6. I helped Dad feed Papa dinner and explained how Papa was starting to get very agitated with me because he wanted to get out of the bed. Well, apparently after I left all hell broke loose. He tried to hit Dad. He kicked my brother in the chest. My sister had to go to the hospital 2 hours ago to have him completely sedated. This just isn't him. When Sis went in tonight he was asking where I was. She said when she was in the room that she thought GaGa was in there. She said it looked like Papa was holding someones hand and rubbing their back with his other hand.

It's inevitable that he will pass this time. It's just been so damn hard. While I was watching him the Hospice nurse came in to introduce herself to me and to get to know my Papa a little better. I explained to her that my mother was home preparing a room for him and all of that. We'll be moving him home from the hospital sometime this weekend because that is where he would want to die.

It's just harder than I ever imagined. I've never seen someone dying. I've never seen someone who doesn't know what is going on. My Dad is being so strong and I just don't know how he is doing it. I've cried nonstop since Wednesday and my Dad is just stoic. He looked at the doctor on Wednesday when he asked what the plan was and said "I think it's time to change him to DNR. He's old. He's tired. He's ready to go." I just can't imagine EVER saying that about one of my parents.

I don't know what else to say. I'm exhausted. I can't sleep and when I do I just have nightmares. I'm trying to stay strong. I just didn't know it was so hard.

-Rose

Batter OUT.

We have a work softball team. I was asked to be on it but politely declined. See story below:

When I was in middle school my sister (age 12) and I (age 13) played softball. We played on the same team, the Bandits. Our uniforms were black. Pretty badass if you ask me. Sis and I always played in positions that work together (I was pitcher, she was catcher). We decided to try something new, me on first base & she was on second.

She sprained her ankle and was out for a week or 2. Since we live in Small Town, the odds of us not knowing each girl in our age group (and interacting with them daily at school) was slim to none. Everyone knew she had been hurt; she was on crutches.

She was finally able to play a game and I was stoked. Her first game back was against the Bears (okay, I totally made that up. I have no flippin' clue the team name). My entire family showed up including parents, grandparents and brothers.

It was that game when a Heartless Bitch (that is what I like to refer to her as. From here on known as HB) almost ruined my entire summer league career.

HB came up to bat. She hit a double. She ran past me and then went running to second base. Sis was off to the side waiting to have the ball thrown to her.

HB pummeled into her. The knock you down, make you roll, dust flying kind of push. On purpose. There was no way it was accidental as Sis was closer to short stop than second base. When the ump stopped the game to check on Sis she shook it off. I knew she was hurt. Call it sister's intuition if you will.

I. WAS. LIVID.

HB came back up to bat and hit a single. Perfect timing. I knew there would be 30 seconds or so where I could get a word in.

"Hey. I saw what you did to my sister," I whispered.

"I don't know what you're talking about." HB replied.

"You're a fucking liar. You know what you did. You're a coldhearted bitch. You fucking ran into her on purpose because you knew she was hurt. I swear to God if you as so much as look at my sister when you get to her base I will fucking kill you. If not during the game, I'll meet you at your dugout after," I said through clenched jaws.

Woah, Rose. Went a little far, didn't ya? What kind of 13 year old talks like that? Oh, yeah. I forgot, me.

Next thing I know the umpire is in my face because HB told him that I was threatening her. Great. I had to play all innocent (which I admit, I pulled off very well). The ump warned me if there was ever an incident with me again I would be kicked out of the league. My coach took my side against HB, made a scene and ended up being ejected from the game.

When the game resumed I walked back towards first base while giving HB the best bitch smile I could muster. A cold smile full of hatred that meant business. I knew I had won, she was scared. HB didn't even glance at my sister while running towards 2nd, in fact she kept her eyes down. She knew better not too.

Of course, my family knew what had happened. They knew me too well. I ended up with a pat on the shoulder from Mom for taking up for Sis.

It takes a lot for me to get pissed off to that degree, but when I do the person antagonizing me (or someone I'm close with) is toast. You know, if HB had done it again, I probably would have beaten her to a pulp. I'm just like that for the ones I love (and yes, Jill is included in this category). Lucky for her, she was smart enough not to look at my sister for the rest of the summer.

I just can't let my coworkers see this side of me ...yet

Sometimes a Fighter and Not a lover,
Rose

that poor tree...

This morning Dad and I were leaving for work at the same time. I got into my car and he got into Mom's excursion.

Our driveway has a turn about and I had parked my car in that in reverse. Just put 'er in gear and go. Well, my Dad pulled up next to the house so he had to back up.

Let me just preface this by saying my Dad sucks driving in reverse. Like sucks so bad that he was backing up one time and hit my sister's then boyfriend's car and then blamed him for parking in the driveway!

This morning I'm not sure why, but he decided he didn't want to back up into the turn around or in the yard. He reversed down our entire driveway which I would say is 50 yards or so long. While he's reversing, I start driving (so our cars are facing each other)

I notice that he's driving pretty slow and starts to veer off of the driveway. I'm not surprised since as I said he sucks at backing a car up. I figured my lights could be in his eyes (our driveway has a hill and I was at the top of it), so I turned them off.

I then see the excursion rock pretty hard and I knew what had happened....

Dad totally hit a tree in the yard. A tree that is at least 5 feet away from the driveway.

Oh, once I realized what he had done I couldn't contain the laughter. Then I see him open the door.

"TURN OFF YOUR DAMN LIGHTS. YOU'RE BLINDING ME. I HIT THE FUCKING TREE!"

Well, no shit. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

I guess that his lights were reflecting into mine or something and that's what was blinding him.

When I got to work I called Mom and told her I thought Dad had hit the tree in the front yard with her car. She told me I was correct, he had. To top it off he hit it hard enough to put a dent in the back panel. Let me just tell you, that excursion is hardcore; it's hit a lot of things and no damage has ever been done to it. It's a tank. Obviously, he had to have hit it harder than I thought.

I told her that I had my lights off and she said it was fine. I asked her if I should apologize and she said not to bring it up. It's been a sore spot for him all day.

Yeah, I'm still laughing.

HAHA,
Rose

*brrrrr*

This morning at 3:10, I heard my tv make a pop. It’s a pretty old television (it’s had parts replaced and been fixed!), so when I heard the pop, I knew what happened. It had died. Well, I thought that was the problem. I got out of bed, turned on my floor lamp & tried to turn the tv back on. Then I noticed that my space heater and fan were not on…

I sat back in the bed and the lights started flickering. Thinking quickly, I was able to light a candle. But the power didn’t go out. All of a sudden everything in the house went berserk. All of the lights dimmed to practically nothing, anything that was on turned off and I could hear a strange beeping.

I walked out of my bedroom and went downstairs towards the beeping. It was the stove. I decided I should go ahead and tell my parents about this. I walked in their room and told them I think we have a problem. Something is up with the electricity. Before turning on the lights, my mom said “Yeah, it’s called a brownout. It’s similar to a blackout, but your power stays on, just at a low voltage.” I told her that I thought the house was getting cold.

Apparently, during said “Brownout” the only thing that continues to work are lights. Furnace and everything else was off. Mom told me to get into her bed because it was still warm from her electric blanket. She went to watch the temperature in the house, which had already dropped almost 10 degrees.

I heard her yell upstairs to T to tell him to come down and get the kerosene heaters to warm the kitchen room up. I hear her say “We don’t have power… sort of” and T responds “Um, yeah we do!” I busted out laughing. I’m sure that he thought she had gone nuts.

I go back upstairs and try not to freeze. My alarm went off at 6:15 but I couldn’t get out of bed until 7 because it was so cold. Apparently between my snooze at 6:45 and my alarm at 7, our power shut off for good. After I rolled out of bed and dressed my candle light, I looked at our clock/thermometer. It was -9.3 outside and less than 50 degrees in the house.

After calling our electric company, they explained that 48,000 of the 150,000 homes didn’t have power. I’ve heard that some parts of Kentucky won’t get power back until mid month because of the ice/snow storms this week and last. Luckily, my sister's house has a working fireplace (the 4 in our house are closed) and we have the kerosene heaters. My parents have already brought my 96 year old grandfather over; he lives on the farm as well and has no electricity.

I hope the electricity is on by the time I get home from work because I want to watch the Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice thing. This is going to be a lovely (and very, very cold) day. I hope everyone else stays warm!!

<3,
IDK, a freezing Rose?

that could have been bad.

If anyone has a question to ask us, go ahead and click here. We're working on the answers now and should have them up soon!

On to the story about my only near death experience:

When Sam & I first started dating, we would hang out at the county park (classy, I know!) because he still lived about 4 hours away and I lived with my parents. We would go out at night then go to the park and swing, kiss, dry hump talk. I would normally head for home around 4 or 5 in the morning.

As I've said before, I live in BFE. I don't have any neighbors that I can see. One of those summer nights I was behind a truck with flashing lights, a service truck. I watched it as it slowed down at my driveway and then pulled in. No way in hell was I following a truck that I've never seen before into my driveway in the middle of the night. A little too scary movie for me. I continued to drive.

I called my sister and made her look out the window of her house (she lives in the guest house) "It's just J (her husband), he must have driven the service truck home."

I go to do a quick turn about as I'm ready to crawl into bed. The back tires of my Jeep ran off the road into a ditch. No big deal, I run off the road quite frequently. I gun it and go nowhere. So I try again. Nothing. This goes on for several minutes when finally I knew what I had to do...

I called my sister. "Hey, I ran off the road up the hill, will you send J to come pull me out?" "Are you serious??" "No sis, I just thought I'd wake you up for the second time tonight for shits and grins. Yes I'm serious!" "OH! Ok, we're on our way."

In the mean time I glance in my rear view mirror and see a truck pull up behind me. I remember thinking "Wow, my mirror is really crooked, those lights are at a funny angle!" I just figured that he would drive on by like most people do. He slows to a stop and my heart starts pounding. I don't want to die here.

The guy rolls down his window "Hey are you alright?"
Rose: "Um, yeah"
G: Are you sure??
R: Yeah... My sister and her husband are coming to pull me out
G: Well, don't move!
R: Huh? Why????
G: Honey, you're front tires are at least 2 feet off the ground and you're being held up by a 2x4. If you move at all your jeep is going to roll down this hill.
R: WHAT?

I looked into my passenger seat at my purse. My purse was no longer in the seat but sitting on the door. How in the hell did I not notice that? I start to panic. I press down on the brake pedal with all of my strength and might, thinking this will stop the car from tipping. I looked back and realize this isn't just a side of the road ditch, it's at least a twelve foot drop off. Shit.

My sister and J pull up. My sister jumps out of the car and runs over "ROSE!!! Are you okay?" I assured her that I was physically fine just really scared and shaky since I found out my tires were off the ground.

What does she do to make the situation better? She pulls out a camera and starts taking pictures. Who does that? There were flashes everywhere. She brings the camera to me to show me what the car looks like. I start to really panic. The guy was right, my front tires were off the ground.

The pictures didn't help the matter any. "GET THAT FUCKING CAMERA OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE. I'M GOING TO GET SICK." I looked around. If I was going to get sick, the puke would land in my purse. Damn.

Well the random guy and J hook the service truck up to my jeep to pull me out. They told me to hold on, just in case the car starts sliding back further into the ditch. By the grace of God, they pulled me out. Somehow I managed to drive my shaky self home. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to wait until I got out of the car to puke. It's the first time I've ever puked because of pure fear.

The next day My sister and I checked out my car, one tiny little scratch. Then we drove up to the wrecking point. It was less than a 2x4 holding the weight of my Jeep up... It was more like a toothpick. I'm seriously lucky my car didn't flip.

<3,
Rose

Snow Blows

My car has been stuck since Monday night. I parked it in the grass, not even thinking about it. When I woke up on Tuesday, the roads were icy and I needed to be taken to work in something with 4 wheel drive. The roads were even worse on Wednesday, so I didn't make it to work at all. Wednesday night I cleaned off my car (The snow and ice) so I would be ready to go bright and early for Thursday.

Thursday morning I got dressed and went out to my toasty car (I start it early every morning. I hate a cold car). I got in, put that bitch in drive and pushed the gas down. Nothing. Okay, there was something, I like to call it a slight roll forward. I hit a big mound of snow and rolled back. I tried again. Then I got my not so happy ass out of the car and tried to dig out with my ice scraper. I dug and dug and dug. I got back in the car and tried to go and obviously went no where.

I went in the house and my Dad said "I was wondering how long you would try before giving up!" So my sweet as peaches little brother drove me to work.

Last night Sam told me he would help me get my car on the driveway so I could actually drive myself to work today. Sam acesses the situation while I try not to freeze. This is how it went down:

Sam: Rose, get in the car and don't do anything until I tell you too.
Rose: Uh, okay.
S: Roll down the window
R: *Opens door because window is frozen shut*
S: Now give it a little gas

Mud, water and snow go flying. Everywhere. Even on Sam (I got a good chuckle out of that one)

S: I said A LITTLE gas, not a lot. Stop.
R: Oops, sorry
S: Okay, I'm going to try to push you out now

I'm sitting in the car while Sam is pushing it and it's rocking. So I start to rock with the car hoping it will help. We finally get over the snow drift just to fall back down.

S: Rose, did you have your foot on the gas?
R: No...
S: I told you to give it a little gas!
R: You told me not to do anything until you told me to.
S: I told you to!
R: But then you told me to quit
S: Yeah, but then I explained a little not a lot. So I've been pushing your car for the last 15 minutes for nothing!
R: Well, I suggest you go get T (my little brother) to help

T comes out, T & Sam push and I go fishtailing, then slam on the breaks and come to a jerking stop... but the car was out!

Now, when people say I don't listen, I don't believe it. Sometimes I listen a little too well.

The Story of the .

I'm going to the doctor on Thursday for a much needed check up. My doctor suspected back in October that she thinks I have endometriosis. The birth control that I am on normally helps with the issues of endometriosis; it's not helping with me.

Well, today I was doing some research on it and found out that people who start their period before age 12 have a higher risk. Then I started thinking about the hellacious day of my life back in the 6th grade when i was 11 years old (I was young for my grade) and started my period.

The morning started out like every other morning of 6th grade. I got up for school and went to the bathroom. I looked in my panties and low & behold, I had started my period. I didn't know what to do.

My immediate thought... "If Mom asks about it when she washes my clothes I'll just tell her I accidentally wore my panties backwords & pooped my pants." I'm. Not. Kidding. I'm not sure why I freaked and decided to tell her I shit my pants instead of telling her that I started... I guess I thought that the little bit in my panties was it..

My Mom took me to school. I just went on like normal, except I had toilet paper crammed down my pants. Finally in 4th hour (!) I leaned over to my best friend and said "N, I think I started my period." She was a late bloomer and was all "What? Are you sure? How do you know???" I explained the blood business and she said "Dude, you have to call your Mom."

I got my hallpass from my teacher and went to the front office (this was before the days of cell phones) and asked to use the phone. This is the conversation I had with my Mom:

Rose: Mom, I need you to come pick me up, I'm sick
Mom: What's wrong?
R: I'm sick
M: I'm in a meeting. Tell me whats going on.
R: I said I'm sick
M: If you don't tell me now, I'm hanging up. I said I was in a meeting.

Shit. I'm going to have to say the words. I turned my back to the ladies in the front office and cupped my hand around the phone and my mouth and whispered "I started my Period"

M: What?
R (still whispering): I started my period
M: Rose, I can't hear you. If you don't tell me what is going on then I'm hanging up

Fuck, I had no choice. I had to say it out loud. Where everybody in the front office could hear.

R: I said I. Started. My. Period. Come pick me up NOW!!
M: Well, why didn't you just say so? I'm on my way.

Mom picks me up from school. Her first question "Did you bleed through your pants?" I'm not kidding, I squatted down and looked at my crotch "Nope."

Then she took me to K-Mart to get some fresh panties & all the fun girly goods.

The worst part of the day? When my Dad saw me and said "I heard my little girl is a woman now."

Dear God, Why Me??
<3, Rose

I'm Back!

I'm back from Gatlinburg & totally exhausted.

1. When you're in a hot tub outside & it's less than 32 degrees outside your hair will freeze.

2. Greatest conversation ever with my dad and brothers one night:
Big Brother: When I was in the military and would get off the boat in whatever country, prostitutes would throw themselves on us...
Me: Did you ever fuck a prostitute?
BB: No, some of them didn't have eyes
Little Brother: No eyes?
Dad: It's called skull-fucking

3. I learned to play Texas Hold 'Em. I kicked ass and took names. I outplayed all the females and probably would have outplayed the males had I tried. I got bored of playing after 3 hours, went all in on a hand I knew I had no chance on, and went out.

4. We went to the aquarium yesterday. Towards the end, we all had Dippin' Dots. While walking around Gatlinburg, Sam started feeling sick and threw up. We thought it was the ice cream. Turns out, it was virus. My sister in law, niece, LB's girlfriend & Sam spent all last night taking turns in the bathroom. I put hand sanitizer everywhere and put my shirt over my face to breathe.

5. On the way home today some assholes decided it would be a good idea to string powerlines so we sat on the interstate for over an hour.

6. My favorite part of the trip: I went into the coach outlet (not planning on buying anything) and found this:

The purse I've been having wet dreams about for months. Except they had it in plum. The exact color in my dreams. Originally $498 (why don't they just make it an even 500? It's not like people say, "Oh! It's 2 bucks less than 500, I have to get it!"). I grabbed this little baby on the 50% off rack and used a 10% coupon handed to me at the door. All mine for $216.

So yeah, it wasn't that exciting, but I had a blast spending time with my family and doing virtually nothing for four days!

<3,
Rose

See Ya Soon!

I'm going to Gatlinburg for a weekend mini-vacation with my family tomorrow. I can't wait! This is the first family vacation where every member of my immediate family will be present in 13 years. We have big plans of being lazy, doing major shopping & going to the aquarium. I hope everyone has a great week & weekend and I'll come back with great stories, I'm sure!

Love, Rose