potluck!

I've had a crazy, crazy past week. I'm stealing Re-Re's idea and doing a "Potluck" of all the crap that has been going on. Prepare yourself.

1. I might be a little vague in this one, but it's for my families sake: My brother came to us two weeks ago and told us he was unhappy in his marriage and is divorcing his wife. He visited his lawyer and started the process. This Sunday she found something he had searched on the internet (had nothing to do with divorce), and confronted him for more information. He told her it was no big deal and was just something he saw on the news and wanted to know more about it. She told him if he didn't tell her exactly why he was looking it up, she wanted to separate. He told her that was fine that he had already been to see a lawyer and she would be served this week. He came to stay the night at our house. During the night, she packed everything in the house and moved 10-12 hours away to where her family is from. She took my niece and nephew with her. Because she hadn't been served yet, she was allowed to leave the state. I think it's safe to say that my life has been turned upside down with the "what-ifs." (what if my brother doesn't get custody, what if I never see them again, on and on).

2. My work BFF, L, got laid off last Thursday and it was a huge surprise. Especially since I normally know who is next.

3. We went out Friday night for the people who got laid off at work. My boss paid for the first $150 of booze. I got slightly drunk. I may have made some bad decisions including, but not limited to:

I know this is the one you all care about:

4. I slept with my prom date from high school. twice. He found me on facebook and we started chatting and text messaging. I went over to his apartment late Friday night and stayed the night. He was HUGE and I was super sore the next day. So sore that I was a little relieved when the time came Saturday night for a third round that he didn't have anymore condoms. Obviously, this is strange territory for me because I have never slept with someone besides Sam. It was good, just different.

5. Sam has been somewhat stalking me. When I told him that the prom date added me on facebook he flipped the fuck out. Like leaving letters and pictures on my car. I told him that obviously this friends thing wasn't going to work out and we couldn't talk. BUT he continued to call and text message. Not only me, but Jill and L. He was calling L's work phone and I'm sure if he had Jill's number he would have called her too. He keeps claiming that he's changed, things are different, he misses me, all that other shit. I've started ignoring him and he hasn't called or messaged me in 2 days. Obviously I'm over him (see #4 on list) but it is very aggravating. Not only is he harassing me, but now my friends. I'm about thisclose to changing my cell number which will really piss me off because I've had this number since I was 16.

Hmmm I think that is just about it. I miss you all. I'll write again soon, I promise :)

-Rose

Going to the chapel, FUF style.

I was stalking visiting some of my friends facebook pages this morning and realized that today was graduation practice for the class of 2009.

This had me thinking about the day that Jill and I had graduation practice. Jill's & my name happen to be right next to each other in the alphabet. We ended up getting to walk and sit with each other during graduation and baccalaureate (how effing cool is that? just by chance sitting next to your best friend during graduation? let me tell you, we took pictures the entire time!)

Well, graduation / baccalaureate practice was at 10 on Friday morning. Our last day of class was the previous Monday so we had spent the last four days in a a drunk and smoking stupor. We were tore up, for real. Well, the night before we decided to do a little 8 dollar challenge. All you can drink for 8 bucks and let me tell you, we were serious. I always drank no less than 5 beers and no less than about 10 rum & diets..

Jill wakes me up at about 9:50 the next morning telling me to get my ass ready for practice.

I was drunk as a skunk. Not just the little bit of dizzy head most people have when you quit drinking 8 hours prior. I was a full on stumbling, not talking coherently, couldn't light my own cigarette, smelling like booze drunk bitch at 10 in the morning.

I somehow manage to find a t shirt and jeans to throw on and we went to the chapel to practice for our baccalaureate that would happen that night. All of the seniors line up and go through the main entrance. Once you get into the foyer, there are two separate doors to go through, one on the left and one on the right. The explained that we would be in two lines and both lines would walk through the right door and split from there to be seated.

I was on the left side. Being drunk I obviously didn't understand the directions. As soon as I made it in the chapel I make a beeline for the left door. Stumbling and running. However, I didn't notice there was no one in front or behind me. I vaguely heard someone yelling "Orange shirt. Orange shirt! Wrong way!" I didn't even know I had a damn orange shirt on. Then Jill yells "Rose, you idiot, you're going the wrong way!"

The only thing I could yell back was "I'm drunk!" I then proceeded to run and get back in line. Needless to say, it was a very long, very hot, very very drunk practice.

I think I for sure went out with a bang.

Still Drunk,
Rose

Don't cry over spilled milk....or ping pong

Last night Rose, Lesley and I went to a Table Tennis Tournament aka Tx3. A guy Rose and Lesley work with was playing in the tournament. Apparently yesterday at work he was telling everyone they needed to come because there was going to be free beer. That's all Rose had to tell me...I was there.

Anyway, we show up at the bar where this tournament is happening. The bar is one of those that only plays country music and everything in the place is wooden. To be honest, it kind of looked like you were walking into Tombstone except there were neon lights everywhere advertising some kind of beer.
We walk into the bar assuming it would be like any other bar experience.
First of all, the women sitting at the door were Bud Light girls. No offense to the Bud Light girls, but seriously these girls weren't the smartest. Bud Light girl #1 asked us if we were playing or watching. My mouth dropped. Did she seriously think that us girls were going to be playing in a Tx3. I think not. None of us were even dressed appropriately to be playing. Bud Light girl #2 asked who we were watching. We told her and she said "Well, here's the deal..." This was a "Private Party" and the players were only allowed to bring 3 people. Whatever. The guy we were coming to watch had over invited people. She let us in but we didn't get any free drink tickets. Sad day. But none the less, our Table Tennis player gave us drink tickets.

The games begin. The first game was between two old guys. The second game was some girl and a guy I went to high school with, Jeff. Now, let me explain Jeff to you. He is the cutest Asian guy I have ever seen. He was wearing his sweatband under his hair, so he kind of looked like a mushroom. And Jeff is a genius, but has never been too good at hand/eye coordination or sports. Somehow he managed to win his first game against the girl. I can tell you though that the girl kind of looked like a statue with moving arms. She was not getting into the game at all, she had no passion.

The three of us decide that we need another drink, so we got more drink tickets and headed towards the bar. The games were starting to get a bit boring and we had already seen the guy we came to see play.
The three of us bellied up to the bar to get our drinks, when at almost the same time we all looked to our left. The girl who lost to Jeff was bawling her eyes out, crying at the end of the bar.
We couldn't believe our eyes! We came up with a few plans as to how we could cheer her up, including walking over and giving her a drink...but all we could do was sit and stare, oh and laugh. Seriously girl, it's only PING PONG not a life or death situation. She sat there for like 20 minutes crying until we looked up and she had disappeared.
We started talking to the bartender and bouncers who were behind the bar, this girl had been sitting there crying for like 10 minutes before we sat down. They had been talking about it as well.

Seriously though, who the fuck cries over a game of ping pong? I agree, I would have been disappointed if I had entered this tournament and lost in the first round (especially if I lost to a guy in a sweatband) but I would not have cried over it. Yes, she could have won a trip to Vegas and possibly $100,000...but wow, this girl has some serious issues.

Soon after I was done hitting on one of the bouncers (who we knew from another bar) we left.

Lesson learned. Never, ever cry over a game of ping pong at a bar...if you do, go out to your car and do it!

<3 Your Bff, Jill?

at least I got a drink out of it.

When I asked the blog for help with topics, The Dumbest Smart Girl You Know was the first to give a topic: "I love dating horror stories. What were your worst dates ever?"

Well, that is easy enough. Mine wasn't really a single it date. It was several forced awkward ones with the same person. I'm sure Jill remembers this all quite well (if she wasn't totally belligerently drunk the entire time. But to be fair, most of that year is a haze for me too) because we got some seriously good laughs out of it.

My senior year of college I dated (and I use this term lightly) a total douche bag. I knew he was a douche bag because he cheated on his girlfriend with me and that is how we got together in the first place. Jill knew he was a douche. All my other friends knew he was a douche. I think that is why I liked him... plus, he was pretty hot. Even my grandma said so. It didn't hurt that he had money and always paid for everything (I was in college and had to beg people for liquor money. Don't judge me.)

When I finally decided that I was over him, I started listening to my Mom. Mom had been trying to get me to go out with this guy named Will since I was about 17 which was about the last time I saw him. So I considered it a blind date.

"You all will get married. I just know it," she said. "You are perfect for each other!" I should have sprinted for the hills then, but being broke I figured,"Hey, free date. At least I can save money on food and buy more alcohol for later!"

You know the story: He called. We chatted a little about my life, a little about his life. He asked me out. We had a date for that Friday; he was to pick me up at my dorm around 8.

I got ready and waited for Will to show up. He called and said he was pulling in front of my dorm. I looked out the window and saw this:



Jill and I gasped. You have got to be fucking kidding me. I knew I was in for it at that very moment. First of all, that truck was a little to country for my liking. Don't get me wrong, I'm a born and bred country girl but really, a flat bed? What the fuck is the purpose of that? The only other person I knew with one was my 94 year old grandfather and even he didn't have a use for it!

I gave Will the benefit of the doubt and walked out to meet him. I grabbed onto the "oh shit" handle and hoisted myself up into that bad boy.

"I was thinking about the Logan's in BigTown for dinner and possibly a bar after." Will said. I told him that was fine and picked up my cell phone to text Jill that he wasn't horrendous and he seemed decent enough.

We got to dinner and he told me to go ahead and order a drink first. "I'll have a tall Amber Bock," I said. He just gave me a look that screamed LUSH. "I'll have a Coors light... in a bottle. I don't need a tall one." Uh oh. Awkward. We started chatting about life or something.

Then he drops the first bomb: BOOM "I'm 33." WOAH. Momma hooked me up with someone 12 years older than me? What could I possibly have in common? Before I had time to fully register that he had hit puberty before I was born, BOOM bomb number 2... "The longest relationship I've ever had was 6 weeks." AND YOU'RE 33?? I had relationships longer than that in middle school! I knew it couldn't possibly work and I wanted to get the fuck out of there. Plus, the dinner was coming to an end and I was itching to get back to campus to drink with my friends.

"So, Rose, about that bar?" Well, I felt obligated. It was 8:30 and I couldn't feign being tired. So he takes me someplace that looks like this:



I guess he listened when I told him that Jill and I frequented the shady bar up the road. Although we did go often, we went for free drinks and we were friends with the bar tender. That is not the type of place you take a girl on a first date.

About 15 minutes into I fed him a line of bullshit along the lines of "I have a bit of a headache and have to study for my senior thesis first thing in the morning." Like I would ever get up on a Saturday morning to study!

He drove me back and asked me if I would like to go out Tuesday night. For once in my life I couldn't come up with an excuse.

Tuesday came and I fucking felt obligated to go. I told him I had more studying to do (total lie, I had drinking plans) and that we should go to the Applebees in CollegeTown. After more forced and awkward conversation he took me back to my dorm. When he parked to let me out of the car he scooted himself next to me. First of all, I find sitting that close to someone that I don't care for extremely uncomfortable. Second of all, I knew what was next...

He kissed me. I felt like I was frenching my 5 year old dog. His tongue was everywhere. I've been throwing up drunk and had better kisses then that one.

So, he calls me on the following Saturday and I answered. My thoughts will be in italics.
Will: How are you?
Rose: Well and yourself? like I give a fuck
Will: Great! I can't wait to see you again. Oh, shit. Oh shit. He is going to ask me out again. What did you do last night?
Rose: Well, Jill and I went to our bar. Got pretty drunk. I headed back to the dorm. Jill being the Lush that she is stayed with the boys she met that night. One of the boys called me from Jill's phone and asked me to come over. They picked me up and we hung out until about 8 this morning.
Will: Well. This obviously isn't going to work out. We're in two completely different stages in our lives. You want to party too much.
Rose: Okay. Bye.

Then later that night he called me: "Rose, I'm drunk. I've been drinking since I talked to you earlier today. I'm upset. I thought this could really be something. I just don't understand why you aren't interested. When you graduate college will you be ready to settle down?" HE JUST KEPT GOING. No wonder his longest relationship was 6 weeks! "Well, Will. I'm not really sure. It sure has been real though!"

And that was that. Apparently during the span of our first and second date he stopped by my parent's house and had a drink with them and talked to them for quite a while about my beauty, my wit, and who the hell knows what else.

I had to explain to Mom that we were just in two different places. Plus I've had bottles of lube and periods that lasted longer than his entire relationship.

My Mom still brings him up. "Whatever happened with you and Will? I was so sure you would hit it off!"

Sure, Mom. If I wanted to date a clinger.

Still a drunk,
Rose

please remove my finger from your mouth, kind sir.

I just want to share something that happened to me Saturday night that I find extremely strange. And uncomfortable.

Saturday night I bar hopped with several of my friends (my good friend from college that I don't see enough, Tessa, and my co-worker, Leigh and a few other less important people). Good times were to be had (and the liquor was definitely flowing).

We ended up at one of the local Irish pubs. Green beer for St. Patty's (it's the first time I've ever had green beer!), a band with a flute, the whole shebang. Leigh, Tessa and I were talking to some guys I know from high school. Said high school friends introduced me to their friend, Dan, who I would say is in his mid-40s. As soon as I saw him I immediately knew who he was. He is on the police force in my hometown and friends with my Dad.

Rose: "Oh! I know you, I'm D's daughter!"
Dan: What? Oh, wow! I haven't seen you in years, you're all grown up! I just love your parents!

Then he starts talking to the guys from high school, "Rose's father is amazing, she's a great girl. Blah, blah, fucking blah." He was obviously extremely intoxicated. And by extremely intoxicated I mean stumbling around and could not focus his eyes.

This is where it gets really fucking strange and uncomfortable.

So Dan grabs my hand. I thought he was going to shake it or something but then he starts moving it towards his face. I just figured he was going to kiss my hand, strange, but whatever. But no...

The mother fucker bit my finger.

One minute I'm talking to him thinking he's gonna kiss my hand and the next thing I know he has my pointer finger in his mouth and he's biting away. He literally had over half of my finger in his mouth. On top of that he bit me pretty fucking hard. Who does that?!

I don't really remember what happened after that. Partly because I was drunk and partly because I was in shock. All I know is I had a bite mark on my finger. I have no clue if I was all "Dude, why are you biting my finger?" or "What the fuck are you doing, you ass cobra?" or I just sat there and took it while he used my finger as his personal raw-hide bone. All I do know is that after he bit my finger I didn't see him the rest of the night. He just disappeared.

Of course as soon as I got home the next morning I had to tell my Mom and Dad about Dan biting my finger. Like me, they had no words. I'm still in utter disbelief that someone bit my finger at a bar.

Not your chew toy,
Rose

The ULTIMATE Stink-Eye

While in college Rose and I frequented a certain, incredibly trashy local bar called Cheers. This bar is attached to a gas station! You really can't get any more trashy...oh wait, except at this bar you can. The people who go to this bar include "bounty hunters" who drive around freezer trucks just in case they end up needing to store things at a low temperature (I'm just saying that I really think they killed people), truckers, dirty men and even dirtier women. And it wasn't a rare occurrence to find someone snorting a line of coke in the bathroom or smoking a joint out back on the patio. The po-po would make nightly stops at this bar...they were always rolling up in there!

However, Cheers was where Rose and I went about once a week. We loved it. There was no reason to get all gussied up, we would walk in with our jeans and t-shirts with no make-up on and still look absolutely gorgeous in comparison to the people around us. If either of our parents had found out that we were going to this bar, our asses would have been grass.
We also made friends with the bartender, who would make us free drinks all night long. Rarely did I ever spend more than like $5 there.

Anyway, once Rose and I started going to Cheers so did our friends.
One night Rose and I decided to go up to Cheers, but didn't really want to deal with the normal crowd that was there so we gathered up a group of our friends to go with us. We walk into the bar and everyone notices us (this happened every time we went in). Rose and I were getting hellos from all the regulars while the other girls with us just stood there in awe of the trashiness that they were about to endure.
We belly up to the bar and start drinking. We are having a great time playing pool, dancing, singing karaoke and getting guys to buy us drinks.

Rose and I were talking when our friend Katie came over to us with a guy. We were proud of her for finding a guy to buy her drinks! Not to be hateful, but Katie kind of looks like the Cowardly Lion from "The Wizard of Oz", so it was a task to find someone who would buy her drinks. This guy seemed nice and all, so we let her continue talking to him.



It just so happens that Katie was also underage. She was 20 to be exact...we snuck her into the bar! This was her first bar experience ever!!

We kept drinking until they turned the lights on for everyone to go home. Luckily we didn't live too far from the bar, so it was easy to have someone take us home or to get someone to come pick us up. So, I'm off making phone calls trying to get someone to pick us up when all of a sudden Rose comes running up to me laughing her ass off. She took the phone from me and said "Jill, you've got to come over here. You've got to see this!"

When Rose gets that excited about something, you know it's good. So, I run over to the bar where all our friends are standing in a circle. Katie is still clinging to her man. Rose says "Look at his eye" in reference to the man Katie was trying to get with.

HE HAD A MOTHER FUCKING GLASS EYE!!!!!!



I couldn't believe what I was seeing. So, I asked him about it. I was like, "Not to be rude, but uhm...what's the deal with your eye?" Apparently Katie hadn't realized that he had the glass eye, because she just got this really confused look on her face. He told us some story about how he ended up with it...I didn't listen or care about what he was saying because I was still laughing hysterically at this point. Then he popped the glass eye out! I was completely grossed out by his eye socket (minus the glass eye) to begin with, then he tried to get Rose and I to touch the glass eye. No thank you.

Well, we finally found a ride and I started to get everyone together so we could leave. Rose came over because she noticed I was having trouble with Katie. Katie would not leave. She said that if we wouldn't take her to a local hotel that Glass Eye was staying at that she was just going to leave with him. WHAT?!?!?!

The hotel she wanted to go to is a local hotel, I don't remember the name of it...but it's even trashier than the bar we were at! Rose got really serious, she told Katie that she wasn't going to the hotel either way and that she was coming with us whether she liked it or not.

Katie threw a hissy fit in the middle of the bar. She started crying. Now, I've cried when I was drunk before...but NEVER over a dude, let alone one with a glass eye! She started saying how he was a really nice guy and that she really liked him and that nothing would happen. It took me, Rose and another girl to pull Katie away from Glass Eye that evening. Needless to say there were a lot of jokes about guys with glass eyes following this incident.

Oh and did I mention that Katie when she gets drunk does this thing while shes talking? Well, Katie when drunk talking begins to move her lower jaw from side to side, while moving it up and down. She looks like a cow chewing! So just imagine Katie, the Cowardly Lion who talks like a chewing cow and Glass Eye. Wouldn't their babies have been pretty?!?! Haha.

Don't worry...there will be more stories about Cheers...a lot happened there!

<3,
Jill

All I wanted to do was get FUF'ed!

After Rose and I graduated from college I pretty much lived at her parents' house. I was there everyday, and spent the night most nights...I even had a blow up mattress on Rose's floor. Anyway, one night after a long day of doing something we decided it would be a genius idea to drink heavily. A trip to the local liquor store was in order.

For some reason whenever I enter that particular liquor store, my beverage of choice usually ends up being whiskey. I walked out of the liquor store with my fifth of whiskey, Rose had enough beer for 6 people.

To get the party started Jay (Rose's brother-in-law) decided that we should play a game of Kings. I hadn't played that drinking game in a while, so I agreed...soon everyone was in. Three games later and all of us were schnockered.

Sam was so drunk he was smoking cigarettes (which he only does if he is obliterated). B (Rose's sister, Jay's wife) became the funniest person ever and the rest of the crew were just trying to figure out all the damn rules for Kings.

We took a short break for shots of whiskey...Or I took a short break for shots of whiskey. And of course being the kind person I am, I wanted other people to take some shots with me. So, Sam and T (Rose's younger brother) come over. They each had two shots, but it may as well had been 10 because they hated the taste so much!

We resumed our game and were having a great time. During the game, B said something which made Sam bust out into laughter, he spit beer everywhere. Then he ran out the door. We (being trashed) thought maybe he was just pissed that he spit beer everywhere and that alcohol had been wasted. Though, when Rose went to check on him...she quickly found out that he had puked all over the place! He came back in blaming me, saying that it was the whiskey that made him puke. Whatever...

T walked into the main house, stood there for a minute then looked at Rose and said "Open the door." She just kind of looked at him with a blank stare. Next thing we knew he was flying out the door trying to project his vomit over the railing. Yuck.

This is where things begin to get really interesting. The drinking part of the night was over...on to more important things...like sex.

Being the perennially single girl, my friends are always trying to hook me up with someone. Rose had Sam, and B had Jay... All I wanted was some lovin'.

Rose and Sam decide that it is a good idea that me and T (Rose's younger brother who had just turned 18...I was 22 at the time) needed to do the hibbity dibbity. I think this was just so they could have some "alone time"...if you know what I mean. Sam plants the idea into T's head. He goes for it!

I must digress for a minute...Rose if you are reading this I apologize in advance...ROSE'S BROTHER IS F'N HOTT!! Like there has never been a girl that I know of who has thought anything different.

So T comes into the room I was sleeping, he lays on the floor for a bit...then talks me into coming to his room. Anyway, the activities begin...soon we hear a voice downstairs. "T, what the fuck are you doing walking around at this time of night? You're shaking the whole damn house!" You see, his bed creaked too much so we moved to the floor (he had rug-burn for weeks). This turned out to be a horrible idea because Rose's parents room was below T's room. We had woken up the parents!!

That's where things get fuzzy. I remember scrambling to find my clothes, sneaking back into Rose's room, then somehow I ended up in another bed with T again!

I'll spare you of the graphic details, but let's just say we finished the deed...and it was good, or at least I enjoyed it.

And that is the story of how I ended up sleeping with Rose's younger brother, who was barely legal and rather attractive.



<3,>

Jill

Remember that one time?? Oh, FUF.

This is a story that very few people know about. Mostly because it's embarrassing. I couldn't think of a good FUF topic and Jill reminded me of it.

When we were in college a group of us would go out. A lot. Our favorite night of the week was Thirsty Thursday at a bar in Big Town. 8 dollars for all you can drink, who can beat that right? We turned this into the "8 Dollar Challenge" which mostly meant "See how much you can drink before you puke." Most of the time we were good at holding down massive amounts of booze; other times not so much. This is one of those not so much stories.

We ALWAYS started off the night with beer pong. We were always among the first to arrive (we'd get there around nine. We took our 8 dollar challenge very seriously). Once we got in we would make a beeline to the bar to get our first drink of the night (mine was normally rum & diet) then ask for a pitcher of beer & cups for beer pong.

That's when I spotted him. Hello, there. I'm not really sure how (I was obviously intoxicated) but we started chatting and flirting. The end of the night came and my DD had arrived so I had to leave.

This flirting and chatting went on for several Thursday nights. Then one night he kissed me (or did I kiss him? Things are hazy). Well, things were getting hot so we went out to his car and started to hook up. As soon as his pants were coming down I puked. All over his pants (I think), all over his truck. It was classy, let me just tell you. I'll also tell you that I never talked to him again. I'd avoid him like the plague at the bar.

Somehow Jill knew to come rescue me (probably because she watched me stumble and sway out of the bar with him). She sat me down on the curb and we waited for our DD. She was laughing, I was crying out of utter humiliation. However, good things come with this story… Our good friend R stole a nice fleece jacket out of his car & Jill got to laugh (probably until she puked.)

Jill will bust out at random times, "Hey, Rose. Remember when you puked on that guy’s dick?" All I can do is laugh. Because, well, what else can I do about it?

<3,
Rose

I now present FUF

After reading Christina & Courtney's idea for theme post days; we came up with our own.

We now present to you: Tales of FUF (or Fucked Up Fridays). We came up with the name back in the good ol' days of college. Every Friday when Jill & I would get off work we would go crazy (Not that we didn't every other night of the week, Friday was just the craziest night of the week). We caught onto our trend of binge partying and decided to start calling our favorite day of the week "Fucked Up Friday" or FUF when we were around others

Sit back, relax and have a drink (or as with FUF tradition, 10) while I share a story of the worst night of my life.

It was my junior year in college. After each semester, there would be a blow out DRUNKFEST party at a local bar. I wasn't 21 yet, but they did let minors in. This called for pre-gaming. Lots and lots of pre-gaming. I decided an early dinner of drinks only would be a good place to start. I knew several waiters around town so this wasn't a problem. I had decided I would have a tequila night (What the fuck was I thinking?). I started off with SEVERAL tequila sunrises. Not so bad. We got back to our dorm room and I mixed a margarita. I was nice and toasted by this point. Good call (or so I thought) since I wouldn't be able to drink at the bar

Well, fast forward to the bar. My Big in the sorority somehow managed to get me the sacred 21 & up bracelet. (I had put lotion on my hands before they gave the X of death so it could quickly be wiped away).

So I drank. A lot. Of shots (I'd say at least 10). I was guzzling drinks like it was my 21st birthday. I was mixing liquors. I didn't care what I had to drink. I was doing shots of Washington Apple (which I thought was called a Werthington Apple), Tequila, Whiskey. You have a shot called "Fucked Up?" GIVE IT TO ME NOW! You name it, I consumed it. You know what comes next.... I staggered to the bathroom and let the liquid contents of my tum go. I guess I was ready for a puking rally that night, because one I left that bathroom, I was ready for round 10 through 20 of shots.

I don't remember much after that, so this is all from the mouth of Jill. My friend, we'll call her M, had to carry me out of the bar at approximately 12-1 am. I puked on her leg and when I pointed it out (um, in case she missed the heaving sound and liquid seeping through her jeans) she casually said "they're your jeans, it doesn't matter." They ended up in my laundry. I just threw them away.

Well, Jill gets me into the bathroom in our dorm so I could continue the rally. I asked for a bottle of water and she returned with one and as soon as I took a sip, it sprayed out of my mouth. I had filled up an empty bottle of water with rum. Not what you want to have in the middle of a rally.

I do remember this. I looked at Jill and said "I can't see. I need my glasses." Jill was all "You don't need your glasses,you moron. You're just plowed." And I was all, "No way. I'm BLIND!" Well, she gave me my glasses. I put them on and realized I still couldn't see, got pissed & threw them against the wall. Shattered. That was fun explaining to Mom & Dad.

That was the first & last time tequila has ever been in my body.

<3,
IDK, my BFF Rose?