stupid broken organ.

Wow. I can't believe it has been almost a month since I've written! Exactly 5 days after my last post (which would have been November 17th), I had an emergency appendectomy (which would be why it's taken so long to write again!).

I was sick for 6 weeks. (yes, six very long, very excruciating weeks!). I had bronchitis, I had a sinus infection, I was throwing up for no reason, I had a cough and was literally turning into a snotface! The three days before I had surgery I threw up everything I tried to eat.

On Tuesday morning (November 17th), my Mom told me that I looked ghostly pale and suggested that I stay home from work. I looked at her and said "Mom, I've been sick for six solid weeks. Nothing is going to change today; I may as well go to work."

So off I went.

At work I joked around with a friend how I felt like I wasn't really sick but I was being poisoned slowly by someone I knew (I was watching Nip/Tuck the night before!), I just needed to figure out who was poisoning me and for what reason!

Around 10 that morning my stomachache started migrating toward my right side. I just knew it was either my period or appendicitis. Around noon the pain started increasing so I decided it would probably be best to leave for the day.

In the 20 minute drive from work to my Dad's office (I wanted to talk to my Mom) the pain amplified. I could barely get out of the car and couldn't stand upright. As soon as I saw my mom I burst into tears and said "Something is very wrong." She called the doctor and they set up an appointment for 3:30. I tried to sleep in my Dad's office while waiting the three hours until it was time to see the doctor. Around 3 I couldn't take the pain anymore and told Mom that I needed to go immediately. Every bump in the car sent radiating pain through my side.

The doctor took me right on back. I explained to him the pain I was having in my side and he examined me. When he touched my side I almost punched him in the face it hurt so bad. He said he thought it was the appendix & that I needed to go to the hospital for further testing. Before I left his office he gave me a shot of some sort of heaven. Took all the pain away for about an hour.

I got checked into the hospital around 4 and had a CT (probably 5ish...I had to drink that chalk crap). While waiting for the results to come back from the CT, my doctor came in and prescribed morphine for me as the meds from his office had worn off. As soon as the nurse gave me my dose of it, I felt a burning sensation in my throat and I could see a rash developing on my arm. My Mom said my eyes rolled back in my head and I plopped my head back on the pillow... I'm obviously allergic to Morphine! Doc was still nearby so he was able to give me a huge dose of benedryl and *voila* I was good again. However, after that I was only allowed Demerol!

The results came back around an hour after the CT scan. I was on the operating table less than half an hour after that. Luckily, my appendix hadn't ruptured but it was close; the doctor sent home pictures and you can see where it was bulging out. I am so lucky I went to the doctor when I did! The doctor was able to do it laproscopically and I ended up with an inch long scar under my boobs and a small one on my panty line and right under my belly button. Not so bad!

I ended up having 2 weeks off work. (Thank you, Thanksgiving for giving me a couple extra days off!) After two years of employment (which for me was about 2 weeks before my appendix went bust), we get 6 weeks paid time off for emergencies which was amazing since I didn't have enough sick time to cover the entire absence! It also looks like I will only have about $2,500 worth of medical bills too (which seems like a lot, but the surgery alone was $17,000).

It all happened so fast... less than 12 hours from the start of the pain until surgery! So yeah, I'm back and better than ever!

This post is already long enough, so I'll have part 2 coming up soon.... The surgeon who didn't want to do my surgery & the recovery nurse from hell are up next!!

Appendix free is the way to be!
Rose

Going to the chapel, FUF style.

I was stalking visiting some of my friends facebook pages this morning and realized that today was graduation practice for the class of 2009.

This had me thinking about the day that Jill and I had graduation practice. Jill's & my name happen to be right next to each other in the alphabet. We ended up getting to walk and sit with each other during graduation and baccalaureate (how effing cool is that? just by chance sitting next to your best friend during graduation? let me tell you, we took pictures the entire time!)

Well, graduation / baccalaureate practice was at 10 on Friday morning. Our last day of class was the previous Monday so we had spent the last four days in a a drunk and smoking stupor. We were tore up, for real. Well, the night before we decided to do a little 8 dollar challenge. All you can drink for 8 bucks and let me tell you, we were serious. I always drank no less than 5 beers and no less than about 10 rum & diets..

Jill wakes me up at about 9:50 the next morning telling me to get my ass ready for practice.

I was drunk as a skunk. Not just the little bit of dizzy head most people have when you quit drinking 8 hours prior. I was a full on stumbling, not talking coherently, couldn't light my own cigarette, smelling like booze drunk bitch at 10 in the morning.

I somehow manage to find a t shirt and jeans to throw on and we went to the chapel to practice for our baccalaureate that would happen that night. All of the seniors line up and go through the main entrance. Once you get into the foyer, there are two separate doors to go through, one on the left and one on the right. The explained that we would be in two lines and both lines would walk through the right door and split from there to be seated.

I was on the left side. Being drunk I obviously didn't understand the directions. As soon as I made it in the chapel I make a beeline for the left door. Stumbling and running. However, I didn't notice there was no one in front or behind me. I vaguely heard someone yelling "Orange shirt. Orange shirt! Wrong way!" I didn't even know I had a damn orange shirt on. Then Jill yells "Rose, you idiot, you're going the wrong way!"

The only thing I could yell back was "I'm drunk!" I then proceeded to run and get back in line. Needless to say, it was a very long, very hot, very very drunk practice.

I think I for sure went out with a bang.

Still Drunk,
Rose

please remove my finger from your mouth, kind sir.

I just want to share something that happened to me Saturday night that I find extremely strange. And uncomfortable.

Saturday night I bar hopped with several of my friends (my good friend from college that I don't see enough, Tessa, and my co-worker, Leigh and a few other less important people). Good times were to be had (and the liquor was definitely flowing).

We ended up at one of the local Irish pubs. Green beer for St. Patty's (it's the first time I've ever had green beer!), a band with a flute, the whole shebang. Leigh, Tessa and I were talking to some guys I know from high school. Said high school friends introduced me to their friend, Dan, who I would say is in his mid-40s. As soon as I saw him I immediately knew who he was. He is on the police force in my hometown and friends with my Dad.

Rose: "Oh! I know you, I'm D's daughter!"
Dan: What? Oh, wow! I haven't seen you in years, you're all grown up! I just love your parents!

Then he starts talking to the guys from high school, "Rose's father is amazing, she's a great girl. Blah, blah, fucking blah." He was obviously extremely intoxicated. And by extremely intoxicated I mean stumbling around and could not focus his eyes.

This is where it gets really fucking strange and uncomfortable.

So Dan grabs my hand. I thought he was going to shake it or something but then he starts moving it towards his face. I just figured he was going to kiss my hand, strange, but whatever. But no...

The mother fucker bit my finger.

One minute I'm talking to him thinking he's gonna kiss my hand and the next thing I know he has my pointer finger in his mouth and he's biting away. He literally had over half of my finger in his mouth. On top of that he bit me pretty fucking hard. Who does that?!

I don't really remember what happened after that. Partly because I was drunk and partly because I was in shock. All I know is I had a bite mark on my finger. I have no clue if I was all "Dude, why are you biting my finger?" or "What the fuck are you doing, you ass cobra?" or I just sat there and took it while he used my finger as his personal raw-hide bone. All I do know is that after he bit my finger I didn't see him the rest of the night. He just disappeared.

Of course as soon as I got home the next morning I had to tell my Mom and Dad about Dan biting my finger. Like me, they had no words. I'm still in utter disbelief that someone bit my finger at a bar.

Not your chew toy,
Rose

All I wanted to do was get FUF'ed!

After Rose and I graduated from college I pretty much lived at her parents' house. I was there everyday, and spent the night most nights...I even had a blow up mattress on Rose's floor. Anyway, one night after a long day of doing something we decided it would be a genius idea to drink heavily. A trip to the local liquor store was in order.

For some reason whenever I enter that particular liquor store, my beverage of choice usually ends up being whiskey. I walked out of the liquor store with my fifth of whiskey, Rose had enough beer for 6 people.

To get the party started Jay (Rose's brother-in-law) decided that we should play a game of Kings. I hadn't played that drinking game in a while, so I agreed...soon everyone was in. Three games later and all of us were schnockered.

Sam was so drunk he was smoking cigarettes (which he only does if he is obliterated). B (Rose's sister, Jay's wife) became the funniest person ever and the rest of the crew were just trying to figure out all the damn rules for Kings.

We took a short break for shots of whiskey...Or I took a short break for shots of whiskey. And of course being the kind person I am, I wanted other people to take some shots with me. So, Sam and T (Rose's younger brother) come over. They each had two shots, but it may as well had been 10 because they hated the taste so much!

We resumed our game and were having a great time. During the game, B said something which made Sam bust out into laughter, he spit beer everywhere. Then he ran out the door. We (being trashed) thought maybe he was just pissed that he spit beer everywhere and that alcohol had been wasted. Though, when Rose went to check on him...she quickly found out that he had puked all over the place! He came back in blaming me, saying that it was the whiskey that made him puke. Whatever...

T walked into the main house, stood there for a minute then looked at Rose and said "Open the door." She just kind of looked at him with a blank stare. Next thing we knew he was flying out the door trying to project his vomit over the railing. Yuck.

This is where things begin to get really interesting. The drinking part of the night was over...on to more important things...like sex.

Being the perennially single girl, my friends are always trying to hook me up with someone. Rose had Sam, and B had Jay... All I wanted was some lovin'.

Rose and Sam decide that it is a good idea that me and T (Rose's younger brother who had just turned 18...I was 22 at the time) needed to do the hibbity dibbity. I think this was just so they could have some "alone time"...if you know what I mean. Sam plants the idea into T's head. He goes for it!

I must digress for a minute...Rose if you are reading this I apologize in advance...ROSE'S BROTHER IS F'N HOTT!! Like there has never been a girl that I know of who has thought anything different.

So T comes into the room I was sleeping, he lays on the floor for a bit...then talks me into coming to his room. Anyway, the activities begin...soon we hear a voice downstairs. "T, what the fuck are you doing walking around at this time of night? You're shaking the whole damn house!" You see, his bed creaked too much so we moved to the floor (he had rug-burn for weeks). This turned out to be a horrible idea because Rose's parents room was below T's room. We had woken up the parents!!

That's where things get fuzzy. I remember scrambling to find my clothes, sneaking back into Rose's room, then somehow I ended up in another bed with T again!

I'll spare you of the graphic details, but let's just say we finished the deed...and it was good, or at least I enjoyed it.

And that is the story of how I ended up sleeping with Rose's younger brother, who was barely legal and rather attractive.



<3,>

Jill

Remember that one time?? Oh, FUF.

This is a story that very few people know about. Mostly because it's embarrassing. I couldn't think of a good FUF topic and Jill reminded me of it.

When we were in college a group of us would go out. A lot. Our favorite night of the week was Thirsty Thursday at a bar in Big Town. 8 dollars for all you can drink, who can beat that right? We turned this into the "8 Dollar Challenge" which mostly meant "See how much you can drink before you puke." Most of the time we were good at holding down massive amounts of booze; other times not so much. This is one of those not so much stories.

We ALWAYS started off the night with beer pong. We were always among the first to arrive (we'd get there around nine. We took our 8 dollar challenge very seriously). Once we got in we would make a beeline to the bar to get our first drink of the night (mine was normally rum & diet) then ask for a pitcher of beer & cups for beer pong.

That's when I spotted him. Hello, there. I'm not really sure how (I was obviously intoxicated) but we started chatting and flirting. The end of the night came and my DD had arrived so I had to leave.

This flirting and chatting went on for several Thursday nights. Then one night he kissed me (or did I kiss him? Things are hazy). Well, things were getting hot so we went out to his car and started to hook up. As soon as his pants were coming down I puked. All over his pants (I think), all over his truck. It was classy, let me just tell you. I'll also tell you that I never talked to him again. I'd avoid him like the plague at the bar.

Somehow Jill knew to come rescue me (probably because she watched me stumble and sway out of the bar with him). She sat me down on the curb and we waited for our DD. She was laughing, I was crying out of utter humiliation. However, good things come with this story… Our good friend R stole a nice fleece jacket out of his car & Jill got to laugh (probably until she puked.)

Jill will bust out at random times, "Hey, Rose. Remember when you puked on that guy’s dick?" All I can do is laugh. Because, well, what else can I do about it?

<3,
Rose

I now present FUF

After reading Christina & Courtney's idea for theme post days; we came up with our own.

We now present to you: Tales of FUF (or Fucked Up Fridays). We came up with the name back in the good ol' days of college. Every Friday when Jill & I would get off work we would go crazy (Not that we didn't every other night of the week, Friday was just the craziest night of the week). We caught onto our trend of binge partying and decided to start calling our favorite day of the week "Fucked Up Friday" or FUF when we were around others

Sit back, relax and have a drink (or as with FUF tradition, 10) while I share a story of the worst night of my life.

It was my junior year in college. After each semester, there would be a blow out DRUNKFEST party at a local bar. I wasn't 21 yet, but they did let minors in. This called for pre-gaming. Lots and lots of pre-gaming. I decided an early dinner of drinks only would be a good place to start. I knew several waiters around town so this wasn't a problem. I had decided I would have a tequila night (What the fuck was I thinking?). I started off with SEVERAL tequila sunrises. Not so bad. We got back to our dorm room and I mixed a margarita. I was nice and toasted by this point. Good call (or so I thought) since I wouldn't be able to drink at the bar

Well, fast forward to the bar. My Big in the sorority somehow managed to get me the sacred 21 & up bracelet. (I had put lotion on my hands before they gave the X of death so it could quickly be wiped away).

So I drank. A lot. Of shots (I'd say at least 10). I was guzzling drinks like it was my 21st birthday. I was mixing liquors. I didn't care what I had to drink. I was doing shots of Washington Apple (which I thought was called a Werthington Apple), Tequila, Whiskey. You have a shot called "Fucked Up?" GIVE IT TO ME NOW! You name it, I consumed it. You know what comes next.... I staggered to the bathroom and let the liquid contents of my tum go. I guess I was ready for a puking rally that night, because one I left that bathroom, I was ready for round 10 through 20 of shots.

I don't remember much after that, so this is all from the mouth of Jill. My friend, we'll call her M, had to carry me out of the bar at approximately 12-1 am. I puked on her leg and when I pointed it out (um, in case she missed the heaving sound and liquid seeping through her jeans) she casually said "they're your jeans, it doesn't matter." They ended up in my laundry. I just threw them away.

Well, Jill gets me into the bathroom in our dorm so I could continue the rally. I asked for a bottle of water and she returned with one and as soon as I took a sip, it sprayed out of my mouth. I had filled up an empty bottle of water with rum. Not what you want to have in the middle of a rally.

I do remember this. I looked at Jill and said "I can't see. I need my glasses." Jill was all "You don't need your glasses,you moron. You're just plowed." And I was all, "No way. I'm BLIND!" Well, she gave me my glasses. I put them on and realized I still couldn't see, got pissed & threw them against the wall. Shattered. That was fun explaining to Mom & Dad.

That was the first & last time tequila has ever been in my body.

<3,
IDK, my BFF Rose?